TAIHA:
"I MADE IT TO THE FINALE AGAIN! EEEEEEEEK!!!!!
But I mean, c'mon.... Is anyone REALLY surprised?? The Mole Queen STAYS queen, baby!
And THAT'S the tea."
THE GOVERNOR:
"Final Four! Haha!
*Laughs & Coughs*
Who'd have thunk it?
*Laughs & Coughs*
Who'd have thunk it?
I feel like celebrating... though it's probably best I keep my
composure, that and the rest of these kids might not like me when I'm
drunk, I've been told I'm quite rowdy and that I like to go swimming in
the sea wearing my suit... *Sudden realization* NOT my birthday suit! That was a vicious rumour! *Coughs*
Now, where was I? Ah yes, now we are in the home stretch I can just
taste victory! Oh, I've been on the tail of this one particular person
since the Pirate Mission and I think my hunch is finally paying off.
They think I haven't noticed but I'm on to them, the sneaky little bastard has been getting away with murder and I've been keeping track of them every step of the way.
I've been tempted many times to jump ship and to go with what the others
have said in spite of what my gut was telling me, I've even doubted
myself these last few quizzes but needless to say, those who I had been
exchanging information with are gone and I'm still here so I guess that
means I was right to follow my own suspicions? Only time will tell..."
"From a personal standpoint, am I sad that Tamela got executed? Yes.
From a game standpoint? No.
She needed to go in order for me to be sitting here today. There's only 4 chairs at the finale and I NEEDED to be sitting in one of them, perhaps more than her. And that's what got me through. I want to make my family proud, but also, I wanted to prove everyone wrong that anyone, even FABIO can make it to the end.
Bet none of you pendejos expected 'boring' 'ole Fabio to make it this far, huh?? Well, in the words of the great Rosalina......... SUCK IT! Jajajajaja...."
KAITLIN:
"I’m glad that Fabio and I could talk and sort things out. Fabio
is the kind of man that reminds me that there is still a percentage of
men out there that you can trust. Although I can’t see myself in a
relationship with any man..... And if I’m true to myself, not even another
woman. Tamela was my first crush of the same sex. But I know now that
there wouldn’t be anything between the two of us. I don't hold it against
her. I believe we shall stay friends. For now, I’m a loner and my
priority now after the mole is to look for my daughter and give her the
life that she deserves. A mother that will look after her and protect
her and give her everything that she didn’t have as a child."
FINAL MISSION:
THE MOLE'S SECRET HIDEOUT
Taiha: "....LYLA?? Lyla fricken Riggins?!!"
LYLA: "Yes, it is I.... The Mole's very first Mole!"
Taiha: "Wowza. So you're our host for this mission? Does that mean this mission is from season 1??"
LYLA: "Indeed, it is!"
Taiha: "Cool! Ahaha, I wonder if Remy played in this one!"
LYLA: "Actually.... he did not. Neither did Fabio over here.... but to be fair Fabio barely played any."
Fabio: "Touche.
And nice to see you again, Lyla. Although I must admit, something looks different about you, amiga...."
LYLA: "I'm sure it's just the wrinkles, haha! And I'm now a proud momma of two!"
LYLA: "Any whootin', this way, contestants!"
* * *
LYLA: "How does it feel to be back at your old digs? And this time, not overrun by cats...."
Taiha: "To be frank, it's a little strange! And not as happy with no cute wittle kittens running amok!! Heehee I'm so bad..... I can't believe I did that! Grey got SOOOO mad at me! Did you see that, Lyla?? He was like.... PISSED! Hehe. But do I regret it? NOPE!"
Fabio: "Speaking of piss, at least it doesn't smell like a litterbox in here anymore. That was repugnante."
LYLA: "Follow me upstairs, please."
LYLA: "Ahhh... here we are. Slytherin. The Chamber of Secrets...."
The Gov: "Why again are we back here? What does this have to do with the mission."
LYLA: "Patience, old man!"
The Gov: "HEY! Who are you calling old, lady?!" (whispering to Fabio) "Do YOU think I'm old?"
LYLA: "As I was saying. Welcome to your final mission, everyone. This is the secret entrance to the Mole's Secret Hideout... Or should I say, Moles' Secret Hideout??"
Kaitlin: "....what's the difference?"
LYLA: "One simple apostrophe. Let me explain...."
(SEASON 1: EPISODE 19)
LYLA: "For the final mission of my season, we were instructed to break into the Mole's secret lair. Of course, my objective was to prevent Nwa and Calphurnia from entering, as secret details of my identity lay exposed in the heart of the lair."
LYLA: "The only obstacle in their way was one simple 4-digit code."
LYLA: "...They solved it with relative ease."
LYLA: "I did what I could to distract them from finding clues about my identity... Clues production left out for them to find. Including 5 paintings of the 5 great lakes surrounding my hometown state: Michigan."
LYLA: "These two were smart, though. They even found my secret dossier! Too much of my identity was exposed that day....."
LYLA: "....thus, from then on, each new Mole pledged to create a new obstacle to the hideout, increasing the difficulty of non-Moles from wondering in."
(Lyla places her finger inside the serpent's mouth; the fangs draw a drop of blood)
*the serpent makes a hissing noise*
"Greetingssssss Mole #1"
*The ground begins to tremble*
Kaitlin: "Is this an earthquake??"
LYLA: "Relax.... it's simply the entrance showing itself."
*the rumbling grows louder and begins to shake the house*
*suddenly, it comes to a complete stop*
The Gov: "...I'm not going down there."
Fabio: "Yeah, you two have fun."
Taiha: "You two are pussies! ...as in, scared little kittens. Come on Kaitlin!! Adventure awaits."
Kaitlin: "I'm game! I wasn't sorted into Gryffindor for no reason!"
Fabio: "Ugh. Fiiiiine.
En el nombre del Padre, y del Hijo, y del Espíritu Santo.... Amén."
The Gov: "Welp. Guess I'm out of options, huh? Is it too late to fake a heart attack?"
LYLA: "I'm afraid it is, Mr. Governor."
The Gov: "Drats!"
LYLA: "Oh! Almost forgot. My journal, from season 1!"
LYLA: "You guys are going to need this to get through my obstacle! Otherwise, quite frankly, you're fucked!"
LYLA: "Each obstacle you pass adds $25 to the pot... You can keep retrying for half the money. Good luck!"
*she drops her journal down*
The Gov: "OWH! Watch it, woman!"
Kaitlin: "It's too dark! Can't see shit."
Fabio: "Is there a light switch anywhere around here?"
Taiha: "FOUND IT!"
* * *
OBSTACLE 1: LYLA'S PASSCODE
Fabio: "Alright. This seems just like the first time this mission was played out. We have to use these clues to figure out the 4 digit code."
Kaitlin: "So let's all rip a page out and work it out together?"
The Gov: "That sounds dandy, Ms. Harlow."
Taiha: "Alright. Let's do this guys and gal!"
Taiha: "My page says the following...."
Hey there, future Lyla! If you're a dumbo and forgot the passcode to the Mole Lair, well.... that's on you!
Haha... kidding. Sorta.
I suppose I can give you a clue to jog your memory. Don't wanna just give the whole thing away in case some filthy Non-Mole steals your journal, right?
Right. Well, the first and last digit are the same. You happy now, Ms. Happyone??
Fabio: "My page has an abstract-looking image that could be a tessellation. Maybe the digit is in there somewhere...or maybe the number is the number of times the pattern repeats?"
If I ever forget the third digit to my passcode, I can just look at this picture... and no one else will even know what it is!
Kaitlin: "I got something L-4 and R -? And some other stuff, but I need digit 3 first to work this out. Do we know in which order the digits are?"
This journal is the property of
R=?
[Oh, and it's important to note this digit is larger than the first digit but not as large as the third!]
Fabio: "Lyla's journal said this thing is digit 3."
Kaitlin: "Mine says that it's greater than the first digit but not as large as the third digit. If I work it out from 4 R must be 10. So the digit must be 1 and the first digit must be 0? So 01?0.
Governor?? What does yours say."
The Gov: "Right, my clue makes no sense on its own."
Kaitlin: "Soooo what is it? Come on! It's not the time to sabotage the game now... There's 6 more to do it..." ;-)
The Gov: "Patience, please! Politicians aren't known for getting things done quickly, after all. Ha!"
The Gov: "It's a list of animals and corresponding numbers, I'm assuming it's probably a guide on how to solve somebody else's clue.
It's numbered 1-9, each number with it's own animal...
Ostrich: 0
Seagull: 1
Shark: 2
Elephant: 3
Donkey: 4
Snake: 5
Mallard: 6
Penguin: 7
Giraffe: 8
Eagle: 9
Writing this on a different page.... Just to be safe."
Taiha: "Alright... Let's check out the actual lock to see if it's indeed 4 digits."
Kaitlin: "Wait! I got mine! Lyla is 4 letters so Riggins is 7 letters... My digit is 7!"
Fabio: "That's good progress... Maybe the picture on my page is related to David's animal listing?"
The Gov: "Yea, was it just me or could I see animals in that picture?"
Fabio: "I certainly saw something, what it was I'm not sure what. But I suppose that's the intention. Maybe penguins? Which I think was 7."
Kaitlin: "Let me have a look at that again. I think it's one of those 3D images."
Taiha: "Oh, magic eye? Those are fun!"
Kaitlin: "....I see it! It's a giraffe! Put your nose to the picture, concentrate and take it away slowly then you see the giraffe.... it's number 8. Great! My digit is 7 the third is 8 so I think the first and last digits must be 6..... So 6 7 8 .... Will I take a guess?"
Taiha: "Go for it."
*Kaitlin types it in.... IT'S WRONG*
Kaitlin: "You know what I just realized?"
The Gov: "Hm?"
Kaitlin: "Certain buttons are worn out.... the 3 7 and 8! 7, my digit, is bigger than the first digit but not as large as the third... THAT'S IT!"
Fabio: "Well done Kaitlin! The passcode is 3 7 8 3, then."
Fabio: "....Oh. This must be the opposite of a Hall of Winners, eh? Poor Izzy. She wasn't used to playing as a regular player. For her, it was like her first time playing, not her second."
The Gov: "Appears that way. Hall of Losers. Where are you, Mr. Farfield?"
Fabio: "Funny, Gov. Except not."
Kaitlin: "All of our fallen comrades..... RIP soldiers."
Taiha: "D'awwww... Shayne was a good guy! A little edgy, but, he was good at heart. I'm glad he got a second chance. And he was able to propose to Indigo before he left! That was adorbsssss."
The Gov: "This kid reminded me quite a bit of my running mate a few decades ago... He was quite the womanizer too. Looking back, probably the only reason I did so well with the female demographic was because he was by my side! Harha."
Kaitlin: "Artie Stique.... Oi oi! 'Nuff said?"
Taiha: "Hehehe, honestly, Throvan was quite the cutie, wasn't he?? Those piercing eyes, sharp ears, long lean furry body..... Oh crap. I just described a cat!
....is that why I always felt the irresistible urge to pet him....?"
Fabio: "Indigo was a great girl. Quirky but sweet, pretty smart too! We had a great conversation early on in the season, we both were pretty misunderstood in our original seasons. I'm really glad she got a second chance too, it's just too bad she didn't make it as far as I did."
The Gov: "As easy as it was to poke fun at Aiden, this hillbilly really did have a heart of gold! Admittedly, I think I admired the kid.... His intelligence might've been a little lacking, but he made it past the halfway point on both his seasons, so that says something, right?
He was loyal as all-hell and honest to a fault. Classic southern gentleman!"
Taiha: "Ah! Linda!!! I miss that beautiful face.... EEEEEE! She was hilarious. Definitely liked her vibe! Such a cool geeky chick. She's another player who did exceptionally well both her seasons.
I miss you, Linda! Can't wait to play Portal with you when you visit me in Australia!!"
Fabio: "Ahhh.... The deceptive Maya! I'm STILL in shock about the whole thing, can't believe they had her disguised as Evarrine the whole season. What a crazy season it's been, to put it lightly...
Maya was yet another great spirit in the game. And someone I wish to remain friends with after this is all said and done.
I truly hope the best for her and Wil and their future familia."
Kaitlin: "Last but not least.... Tamela. I miss her already! She's my sister for life. Definitely would not be where I am today without her support.
I'm going to win this whole game again for you, Tams! For you and my child.... wherever you are."
OBSTACLE 2: COLE'S MAZE
Taiha: "Ooooh.... Reminds me of the maze from the fourth Harry Potter movie. Goblet of Fire!"
Kaitlin: "In that case..... you can go first!"
Taiha: "Hey! YOU'RE the one who said you're a Gryffindor, not me!"
Kaitlin: "Grrrr.... Fine. Let's go people!"
Kaitlin: "Actually, it might be better if we split up, that way we cover more ground more quickly."
Taiha: "Drats! Dead end.... and that's a bit creepy, isn't it?"
The Gov: "Har-har, funny, everyone.... Where's Linda when you need her for the meta fourth wall break jokes??"
Kaitlin: "Those things better not attack me...."
Fabio: "Mierda. Another dead end."
The Gov: "Yeah, that's natural."
Taiha: "Guys! I found the exit!!"
Fabio: "Oh, goodie. I was getting tired."
Kaitlin: "What does that say?"
The Gov: "Well, it reads...."
"How did you enjoy the maze? Bit of a mental and physical workout getting here, huh?
Well, truth be told.... the maze was just a means to an end.
It fit within the Harry Potter theme, but more importantly... it served its purpose as a distraction.
Because the REAL obstacle today?
Remembering what you saw IN the maze.
That's right. My challenge is about memorization, inspired by the mission...."
 |
| Inspired by the mission 'A FRUITY AFTERNOON' |
Fabio: "Alright. So what's our challenge?"
Taiha: "We're gonna have to make a smoothie, right??"
The Gov: "Yup. Next page reads..."
Cole the Mole has a special protein smoothie he drinks after a long workout... But only he knows how to make the secret recipe.
There's 5 ingredients.
If you can JOG your memory (pun intended) from your jog through the maze, perhaps you might be granted access...
1) What type of flower was singing?
-Sunflower (Yogurt)
-Daisy (Soy Milk)
2) What gnome was on the table?
-Pirate (Avocado)
-Colonel (Spinach)
3) How many birds were at the bird bath?
-1 (Peanut Butter)
-2 (Nutella)
4) What color was the doll's skirt?
-Blue (Grapes)
-Purple (Blueberries)
5) What color was the duck?
-Yellow (Apple)
-Red (Banana)
ALL 5 HAVE TO BE CORRECT OR ELSE IT'S WRONG AND YOU MUST RETRY
Kaitlin: "I'm getting the spinach! That gnome definitely didn't look like our good friend Captain Crook...."
Taiha: "Alright, what else?"
Fabio: "Honestly? I wasn't paying attention much. So I'm no help."
Taiha: "That's okay.... Govvy?"
The Gov: "Yeah, I saw the flower once or twice.... Never have used yogurt as an ingredient in a smoothie but I'm pretty sure it was a sunflower."
Taiha: "Alright. Get the yogurt!"
Taiha: "The doll skirt was blue I believe. And like, using common sense the duck was yellow, right? So I'm going to put some apples in here too."
Kaitlin: "And the number of birds? 1 or 2? I don't remember seeing 2...."
Taiha: "Uhhhh yeah. So just 1? Fetch me some peanut butter, then. I think we have a good shot here of nailing it first go!"
* * *
Taiha: "Alrighty, here we go."
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The Gov: "Green! ...is that good?"
Fabio: "Si. She got it."
Kaitlin: "Nice job Taiha! Wow."
Taiha: "Thanks! Next obstacle we goooooooo!!"
OBSTACLE 3: GREGORY'S QUESTIONS
 |
| Inspired by the mission '20 QUESTIONS' |
Taiha: "Do we sit down or....."
VOICE: "SIT!"
Fabio: "There is your answer."
VOICE: "Welcome to Gregory's Obstacle. You have gotten this far. You really think you can get any further? In Master Gregory's words.... 'Pft! Good luck, scum!'.... This is 20 Questions. Good luck."
Taiha: "So we just type our questions in? Alright.... here's our first question, then."
Taiha: "Kaitlin, that's too specific! That's like a guess. We need to start broad and then slowly get more specific as we go along.... like, DOES IT HAVE LEGS?"
VOICE: "YES"
Kaitlin: "Hmm... IS IT AN ANIMAL?"
VOICE: "UNSURE; MOST LIKELY? YES."
Fabio: "Wait, why did you ask if it's an animal if we already know it's alive and has legs? You ended up wasting a question, Kaitlin."
Fabio: "ARE YOU A MAMMAL?"
VOICE: "UNSURE; MOST LIKELY? NO"
Taiha: "DO YOU HAVE MORE THAN TWO LEGS?"
VOICE: "NO"
The Gov: "ARE YOU RELATED TO GREGORY IN SOME WAY?"
VOICE: "YES"
Kaitlin: "DO YOU HAVE A HUMAN NAME?"
VOICE: "UNSURE; TOO SUBJECTIVE"
Taiha: "ARE YOU AN ALIEN?"
VOICE: "YES"
Fabio: "ARE YOU A PROPER NOUN?"
VOICE: "YES"
Taiha: "IS THIS A CARTOON CHARACTER?"
VOICE: "NO"
Kaitlin: "Do you think it could be ET? The extra-terrestrial...?"
The Gov: "CAN YOU TALK?"
VOICE: "YES"
Taiha: "My guess is that.... ARE YOU ET??"
VOICE: "YES"
*INVISIBLE DOOR BECOMES VISIBLE*
The Gov: "Well done, everyone! We will be in that filthy Mole's lair in no time at this rate."
Fabio: "You're really killing it, Taiha."
Taiha: "I'm glad you're impressed, Fabbykins!!!"
Fabio: "Okay let's not take it THAT far...."
The Gov (whispering): "You better not sabotage us again, pal."
Fabio: "Me?! When have I ever??"
The Gov: "Don't play coy with me, boy.... I see right through your games. Your good guy front."
Fabio: "...moves and counter-moves, they say."
The Gov: "Yes.... something I know quite well in my field."
Fabio: "That you do.... Makes you think."
The Gov: "Think what."
Fabio: "Nothing."
The Gov: "...."
OBSTACLE 4: RACHEL'S TRAPS
Kaitlin: "Oh look, there's instructions on the wall."
"Helllllooo, whoever you are! You thieves, trying to break into the Lair of the Moles!
Well, you've made it this far, let's see if you can keep it going?
Before you is a grid.
You still start on column A.
5 squares are traps. They can be anywhere, except for Column A.
Just like the game I played in my season, each time you step on a square, it will either turn yellow or green.
Green means you're safe to move.
Yellow, however, means there's at least 1 trap in the near vicinity (left/right/up/down).
....Good luck. You will need it, because each person eliminated will reduce your money in half."
Kaitlin: "Oh, yikes!"
The Gov: "Obviously, don't go forward."
Fabio: "I will though."
Fabio: "Careful..."
Kaitlin: "That was to be expected."
Fabio: "Yeah. But at least now we know there's one in front of me."
Kaitlin: "We already knew that based on Gov's green."
Fabio: "Oh. Yeah, true."
Kaitlin: "Okay. I'm going for it!
Taiha: "Kit Katty! You're scaring me!"
The Gov: "Yeah, you are going waaaay too fast. What's the rush?"
Kaitlin: "Sometimes.... You just gotta grab the world by its balls."
Kaitlin: "Guys! This could be the exit! Wish me luck...."
Kaitlin: "Uh-oh."
Kaitlin: "AUGH!"
Taiha: "Oh mah GAWD!! Kitty!! You okay?!"
Kaitlin: "Y-Yeahhh, just f-feeellling ah witttttle sleeeee-----"
The Gov: "Careful there, son. Don't wanna end up like that girl."
Fabio: "I know what I'm doing, gracias."
Fabio: "Hmmm.... I don't quite trust that path."
Fabio: "No!"
The Gov: *GRUNTS*
The Gov: "Yah. Know what you're doing my ARSE!"
Taiha: "....Huh? Sorry, was just taking a little cat nap! ...and looks like those two are doing the same."
Taiha: "This should be easy-breazy now, since they've cleared the path for us!"
The Gov: "Fair enough."
Taiha: "So we just gotta zig-zag through here?"
The Gov: "Yes. And we know there's 3 other traps over there so this has to be the right path."
Taiha: "Are they like..... DEAD?"
The Gov: "Of course not ya airhead!"
Taiha: "I was JOKING Davey.... Jeesh. You REALLY think I'm that dense??"
The Gov: "...I plead the fifth."
Taiha: "Well, won't YOU be in for a rude awakening this finale...."
The Gov: "Oh yeah?"
Taiha: "Yeah. I'm winning."
The Gov: "We'll see about that, now won't we?"
Taiha: "Yes. Yes we will...."
The Gov: "Yup. This is it. We escaped!"
Taiha: "Holy guacamole!"
The Gov: "Now you're just trying to give yourself hints on purpose."
Taiha: "....you got me."
The Gov: "I suppose you ARE smarter than I give you credit for....."
Taiha: "I'm not the biggest Mole fangirl for no reason, y'know."
The Gov: "True enough. Say, there, Ms. Anderson..... Are these two ever going to wake up?"
Taiha: "Hard to say! I'm guessing sleep darts were used for dramatic effect, but also because it mimics Rachel's narcolepsy, her main character shtick."
The Gov: "Yeah. I think you win biggest Mole fan-person... besides Pacco, perhaps. But he's dead, so."
Taiha: "RIP. But did HE host his own Mini Mole spinoff series??! I THINK NOT!"
*Kaitlin begins to stir*
Taiha & Gov: "AHHH!!"
OBSTACLE 5: IZZY'S CHALLENGES
*A recording of Izzy's voice plays*
"What's up, beautiful people! I know I know, I'm SUPPOSED to do something Survivor themed.... But like. Ew. That island was nasty. So I suppose my obstacle will maintain some of the same classic survivor skills, but waaaaaay more fun, because who doesn't love a bit of drunken fun, amiright?? So before you is a bar! A TIKI bar, might I add.... hehe, yes, I fit the theme in here somehow!
Anyways. Only I would be able to pass this obstacle, realistically. No one else really stands a chance besides this Diva. I didn't repress myself for decades to come out a chump, now, did I??
So yeah. All 4 tasks must be completed within 5 minutes or it resets. Think you can do it? Psshhh... yeah, right!
Don't forget to take a few shots of liquid courage, it's quite the, erm... pardon my Artie; lubricant, if you will...."
~BALANCE~
~ENDURANCE~
~AIM~
~PUZZLE~
The Gov: "Don't see myself doing endurance or balance, so I'll do the puzzle."
Taiha: "I s'pose I'll do.... aim? I can aim well with a camera, soooo why not?"
Kaitlin: "I'm doing endurance."
Fabio: "And naturally I'm forgotten about and have no choice but to pick up the slack... Balance it is for I."
(Governor must replicate the puzzle in real life in 5 minutes)
(Fabio must continuously juggle and balance mixing drinks for 5 minutes)
(Taiha must hit 3 bullseyes in 5 minutes)
(Kaitlin must not touch the ground for 5 minutes)
[We're gonna fast forward through this part because I'm bored and tired lol]
The Gov: "Save me one of those, Fabby!"
Kaitlin: "Finished!"
*The Gov whistles nonchalantly*
Kaitlin: "Wait, what's happening? Looks like we all finished our parts."
The Gov: "Yeah... I did mine fair and square!" *coughs profusely*
Fabio: "Wait-a-minute... Did you cheat??"
The Gov: "Uhm. What makes you think that?"
Kaitlin: "You're the Guv and a sleazy old man, what other evidence does he need?"
The Gov: "AGAIN with the 'old' remarks?? I'm not even 50 yet!!
And yes.... I did cheat. But how did they know??"
Taiha: "Are you new here or something?? Production is ALWAYS watching!"
Fabio: "I saw you pause your timer. Not cool, amigo. Not cool. You know what they do to cheaters in Mexico, huh?? .....yeah I'm not too sure either."
Kaitlin: "Soooooo now what?"
IZZY: "So you failed my obstacle your first time around, didja? Surprise surprise.... NOT!
*INVISIBLE DOOR BECOMES VISIBLE*
The Gov: "Well done, everyone! We will be in that filthy Mole's lair in no time at this rate."
Fabio: "You're really killing it, Taiha."
Taiha: "I'm glad you're impressed, Fabbykins!!!"
Fabio: "Okay let's not take it THAT far...."
The Gov (whispering): "You better not sabotage us again, pal."
Fabio: "Me?! When have I ever??"
The Gov: "Don't play coy with me, boy.... I see right through your games. Your good guy front."
Fabio: "...moves and counter-moves, they say."
The Gov: "Yes.... something I know quite well in my field."
Fabio: "That you do.... Makes you think."
The Gov: "Think what."
Fabio: "Nothing."
The Gov: "...."
OBSTACLE 4: RACHEL'S TRAPS
 |
| Inspired by the mission 'TRAPPED' |
Kaitlin: "Oh look, there's instructions on the wall."
"Helllllooo, whoever you are! You thieves, trying to break into the Lair of the Moles!
Well, you've made it this far, let's see if you can keep it going?
Before you is a grid.
You still start on column A.
5 squares are traps. They can be anywhere, except for Column A.
Just like the game I played in my season, each time you step on a square, it will either turn yellow or green.
Green means you're safe to move.
Yellow, however, means there's at least 1 trap in the near vicinity (left/right/up/down).
....Good luck. You will need it, because each person eliminated will reduce your money in half."
Kaitlin: "Oh, yikes!"
The Gov: "Obviously, don't go forward."
Fabio: "I will though."
Fabio: "Careful..."
Kaitlin: "That was to be expected."
Fabio: "Yeah. But at least now we know there's one in front of me."
Kaitlin: "We already knew that based on Gov's green."
Fabio: "Oh. Yeah, true."
Kaitlin: "Okay. I'm going for it!
Taiha: "Kit Katty! You're scaring me!"
The Gov: "Yeah, you are going waaaay too fast. What's the rush?"
Kaitlin: "Sometimes.... You just gotta grab the world by its balls."
Kaitlin: "Guys! This could be the exit! Wish me luck...."
Kaitlin: "Uh-oh."
Kaitlin: "AUGH!"
Taiha: "Oh mah GAWD!! Kitty!! You okay?!"
Kaitlin: "Y-Yeahhh, just f-feeellling ah witttttle sleeeee-----"
The Gov: "Careful there, son. Don't wanna end up like that girl."
Fabio: "I know what I'm doing, gracias."
Fabio: "Hmmm.... I don't quite trust that path."
Fabio: "No!"
The Gov: *GRUNTS*
The Gov: "Yah. Know what you're doing my ARSE!"
Taiha: "....Huh? Sorry, was just taking a little cat nap! ...and looks like those two are doing the same."
Taiha: "This should be easy-breazy now, since they've cleared the path for us!"
The Gov: "Fair enough."
Taiha: "So we just gotta zig-zag through here?"
The Gov: "Yes. And we know there's 3 other traps over there so this has to be the right path."
Taiha: "Are they like..... DEAD?"
The Gov: "Of course not ya airhead!"
Taiha: "I was JOKING Davey.... Jeesh. You REALLY think I'm that dense??"
The Gov: "...I plead the fifth."
Taiha: "Well, won't YOU be in for a rude awakening this finale...."
The Gov: "Oh yeah?"
Taiha: "Yeah. I'm winning."
The Gov: "We'll see about that, now won't we?"
Taiha: "Yes. Yes we will...."
The Gov: "Yup. This is it. We escaped!"
Taiha: "Holy guacamole!"
The Gov: "Now you're just trying to give yourself hints on purpose."
Taiha: "....you got me."
The Gov: "I suppose you ARE smarter than I give you credit for....."
Taiha: "I'm not the biggest Mole fangirl for no reason, y'know."
The Gov: "True enough. Say, there, Ms. Anderson..... Are these two ever going to wake up?"
Taiha: "Hard to say! I'm guessing sleep darts were used for dramatic effect, but also because it mimics Rachel's narcolepsy, her main character shtick."
The Gov: "Yeah. I think you win biggest Mole fan-person... besides Pacco, perhaps. But he's dead, so."
Taiha: "RIP. But did HE host his own Mini Mole spinoff series??! I THINK NOT!"
*Kaitlin begins to stir*
Taiha & Gov: "AHHH!!"
OBSTACLE 5: IZZY'S CHALLENGES
 |
| Inspired by the mission 'ON YOUR MARK' |
*A recording of Izzy's voice plays*
"What's up, beautiful people! I know I know, I'm SUPPOSED to do something Survivor themed.... But like. Ew. That island was nasty. So I suppose my obstacle will maintain some of the same classic survivor skills, but waaaaaay more fun, because who doesn't love a bit of drunken fun, amiright?? So before you is a bar! A TIKI bar, might I add.... hehe, yes, I fit the theme in here somehow!
Anyways. Only I would be able to pass this obstacle, realistically. No one else really stands a chance besides this Diva. I didn't repress myself for decades to come out a chump, now, did I??
So yeah. All 4 tasks must be completed within 5 minutes or it resets. Think you can do it? Psshhh... yeah, right!
Don't forget to take a few shots of liquid courage, it's quite the, erm... pardon my Artie; lubricant, if you will...."
~BALANCE~
~ENDURANCE~
~AIM~
~PUZZLE~
The Gov: "Don't see myself doing endurance or balance, so I'll do the puzzle."
Taiha: "I s'pose I'll do.... aim? I can aim well with a camera, soooo why not?"
Kaitlin: "I'm doing endurance."
Fabio: "And naturally I'm forgotten about and have no choice but to pick up the slack... Balance it is for I."
(Governor must replicate the puzzle in real life in 5 minutes)
(Fabio must continuously juggle and balance mixing drinks for 5 minutes)
(Taiha must hit 3 bullseyes in 5 minutes)
(Kaitlin must not touch the ground for 5 minutes)
[We're gonna fast forward through this part because I'm bored and tired lol]
The Gov: "Save me one of those, Fabby!"
Kaitlin: "Finished!"
*The Gov whistles nonchalantly*
Kaitlin: "Wait, what's happening? Looks like we all finished our parts."
The Gov: "Yeah... I did mine fair and square!" *coughs profusely*
Fabio: "Wait-a-minute... Did you cheat??"
The Gov: "Uhm. What makes you think that?"
Kaitlin: "You're the Guv and a sleazy old man, what other evidence does he need?"
The Gov: "AGAIN with the 'old' remarks?? I'm not even 50 yet!!
And yes.... I did cheat. But how did they know??"
Taiha: "Are you new here or something?? Production is ALWAYS watching!"
Fabio: "I saw you pause your timer. Not cool, amigo. Not cool. You know what they do to cheaters in Mexico, huh?? .....yeah I'm not too sure either."
Kaitlin: "Soooooo now what?"
IZZY: "So you failed my obstacle your first time around, didja? Surprise surprise.... NOT!
Go again, if you need to... Switch around jobs if you must! But this time.... you only get half credit.
Timer starts.... NOW!"
Taiha: "I volunteer to do my part again. I'm practically an expert at it!"
Kaitlin: "Mine was easy! Anyone can do it."
The Gov: "Can I do yours then? I'm afraid I bit off more than I could chew with the puzzle."
Kaitlin: "Sure thing. Fabio?"
Fabio: "Meh. I don't trust anyone else to do my part. Besides, I practiced juggling as a kid. So. I'm keeping mine."
Taiha: "We have no time to waste! Hurry!"
Taiha: "Alllllright. Here I go AGAIN."
The Gov: "Teeehehehee.... me 'tinks I hads toooooo muchhh to drink! Harharha.... ooh! Is that a live band.... I LoooOooooOve this song! 'Tis mah guilty pleasure!! Heeeheee!
....LET'S GO GIRLS."
[Just play and keep scrolling XD]
COSTUME CHANGE!
The Gov: "FIN! ....MAN, I feel like a woman!!"
EVERYONE: "....."
Fabio: "That.... that was something."
Kaitlin: "Safe to say I'm scarred for life."
Taiha: "I'd like what HE'S having!!"
Fabio: "Well. The door is opening, so I guess that means we all succeeded?"
The Gov: "DARN TOOTIN'! W-wh-whaaaa did you ex-expect??? I was FABULOUSSSSS UP there!!"
PRODUCTION: "CONTESTANTS, PLEASE BE PATIENT AS WE WAIT FOR THE GOVERNOR TO SOBER UP BEFORE WE CONTINUE ON. THANK YOU!"
~
~
~
~
Taiha: "Sooooooo...."
The Gov: "Nope. Don't wanna talk about it."
Taiha: "Purfect. Let's continue on!"
THE GOVERNOR:
"What came over me today? No idea. Do I want to talk about it? Not particularly.
....Do I regret getting stupidly drunk?? Absolutely not!
Afterall, the press can't make fun of you if you're the one having all the fun, harharhahar!!"
OBSTACLE 6: WIL & PACCO'S TEST
Taiha: "I don't see any instructions."
The Gov: "If I remember anything about that Exam mission.... that's the point."
Kaitlin: "You think it's that one we did?"
The Gov: "I'm pretty certain. What else would it be?"
Kaitlin: "Valid. Where's my coke can that I can throw at somebody?"
Fabio: "I figure the goal is to get to that door."
The Gov: "We got a real detective on our hands, folks."
Fabio: "....can't believe I'm saying this but I miss drunk Governor already."
Taiha: "Alright. Spread out and search, me lovelies!"
Kaitlin: "Guys, I found a light switch! Red and blue.... like red spy blue spy, maybe?"
The Gov: "Ooh that's nifty. I'm guessing these lights will make some sort of writing appear somewhere, either that or we press the red and blue buttons on and off rather vigorously and create some sort of rave party."
Taiha: "You already had your party in Izzy's room, Davy! This is Wil and Pacco's room.... Might have to think outside the box on this one. Kaitlin, hit the red light!"
Kaitlin: "What if we-"
Fabio: "Hold up! I see writing on the fake window."
Fabio: "Hmmm.... 'Appearances can be deceiving.... I would know. -Red Spy' ....that's interesting, but does it help us move on?"
The Gov: "True, it could always be a distraction.... but then again it's the only lead we got so far."
The Gov: "Everything in here is fake! This whole room is a fraud... computers are fake. Windows are fake. Hell that plant is fake, too. And yes, I already checked it for bugs."
Taiha: "....no one asked you to do that."
The Gov: "You'd be silly not to, Ms. Anderson. The Government is watching..... alllllwaaaaays watching...."
Kaitlin: "Creepier considering YOU'RE in the government."
Taiha: "Ha, got'em."
Fabio: "Why aren't you imbeciles checking for writing under the blue light too??"
Taiha: "You're right, Fabio! There's more writing!
'Take the leap of faith and don't look back.... trust me, I would know. -Blue Spy'."
Fabio: "What is she...."
Kaitlin: "Taiha, wait! Don't jump! You still have SO much to live for!!!"
The Gov: "SHE JUMPED!"
Kaitlin, Fabio, & The Gov: "..........."
Kaitlin: "...Taiha? How..... how did you know?"
Taiha: "The abyss was just an illusion, guys! Like in Indiana Jones!!
And the quotes; Take a leap of faith? Don't look back?? Appearances can be deceiving?!?
It's an invisible bridge, guys! Made of glass. It's completely safe! C'mon, let's go! We're soooooo close to the end!"
Kaitlin: "It's a good thing I didn't join the Air Force.... heights are NOT my thing!"
OBSTACLE 7: THE MOLE'S SECRET OFFICE
Taiha: "Oh, cool! All of the previous Moles with their own portraits.... Almost like previous Presidents?"
Kaitlin: "There's our girl!"
Taiha: "And there's my boy! I got him caught day ONE.... Just like this season. Well, maybe day two...." ;-)
The Gov: "Alien boy. If I'm ever President, I'll make sure to keep him away from Area 51...."
Fabio: "I still feel a little sleepy after those darts she shot up my you-know-what...."
Taiha: "EEEEEE!!! Izzy! She's such a rascal. Making us dance on a strippers pole of all things, ahaha."
The Gov: "Bleh. This guy made me lose last season! Him and that Pacco fellow."
Kaitlin: "Yes, but thanks to him I won a million dollars! So I'm thankful. And it was cool seeing him again this season.... And of course Maya. She would have loved making it this far, I think."
The Gov: "Dun dun dunnnnn...."
Fabio: "Ominous, isn't it?"
Taiha: "Depends. Is your face ominous?"
Fabio: "Jajajaja. Funny."
Kaitlin: "Hm...? What's this."
The Gov: "I have a feeling I know."
Taiha: "Huh? What do you see."
Kaitlin: "Money. 50k."
The Gov: "But also.... information."
Taiha: "In the form of the Mole's dossier?"
The Gov: "Precisely."
Taiha: "Sooooo I see a bomb.... So Imma take that money and go. Sound good to everyone?"
Fabio: "Yeah, this is a trap. This IS the final obstacle, after all.... You really think we're gonna get away that easily? Maybe if we take the money and run. But we can't get too curious. We've already been here longer than we should've.... It's a bit creepy. I feel like I'm being watched."
Kaitlin: "Might be because of the cameras, because, you know..... We're being filmed."
Fabio: "Yes, I know that! Come on, compadres. Let's get out of here with the money before--"
*Kaitlin and the Governor both reach for the Dossier*
*A motion sensor is tripped*
*Sudden shaking causes the portraits on the walls to fall*
Taiha: "What did you do, Governor??"
The Gov: "Don't look at me! Kaitlin grabbed the dossier too!"
Taiha: "LOOK what you've done! The walls are closing in on us!!"
*There's a thunderous grinding noise in the background*
Kaitlin: "Snakes, mazes, traps, heights AND claustrophobia.... Only thing missing is fire and crowds and my collection of fears is complete!! ....am I secretly related to Indigo? Jeez, when did I become such a coward?? Screw this, c'mon everyone, we gotta find a way outta here!"
Taiha: "Wait, QUIET! ....what's that ticking sound?"
The Gov: ".....perhaps the block of dynamite right next to us??"
Taiha: "Holy shishkabobs! ....more like shits-ka-BOOM, amiright?? Teehee."
Fabio: "I think I understand what's happening. By Kaitlin and David taking a peak at the Dossier, they've activated a trap. We could have walked out of here safely with the money, would've easily taking it from the Mole's grubby hands, but now if we want to save it, we have to save ourselves from this bomb and the walls closing in. So now..... We must diffuse the bomb."
Taiha: "So I TOTALLY know it's fake, but I ain't touching it. Because I've played Exploding Kittens enough to know that whoever goes first is risking it! And I ain't responsible for anymore blown up kitties!"
The Gov: "So how do we go about diffusing it? There's a pair of scissors next to it. And a bunch of wires."
Kaitlin: "Hold up! There's an instruction manual on the desk from some place called Bomb Corp.... Maybe they'll tell us what we need to diffuse this thing! Quick, everyone take a page!"
Taiha: "My step says under NO circumstances, do not cut the black wire!! Who has step 1?? Also... we only have a minute!!!"
Kaitlin: "Mine says cut all the even wires... and we can ignore step 2 because the red wire isn't next to the black wire."
The Gov: "Mine says to cut all the wires from left to right in order... except for Green, always cut the Green wire first. It then says if there are two white wires together don't cut either under any circumstances."
Fabio: "My step says Step 2 is supposed to say green instead of red, and step 4 is supposed to say red instead of white... also, ignore step 6. Also, we can probably ignore step 4 now, right? Since there's no two red wires."
Kaitlin: "Okay, okay... gah, this is so confusing. How much time is left??"
Fabio: "30 seconds."
Taiha: "Okay guys, listen! This is uber important... Step 5 says that in step 1 it should say odd not even."
Kaitlin: "You're just NOW telling us?? That changes everything!"
Taiha: "I just didn’t wanna say it until we got an official step 1.... didn’t want someone to lie about what step 1 was!"
Fabio: "We need to start cutting wires. We don't know how many there are that need to be cut."
Kaitlin: "Okay, okay... I think I got it... There will be 4 wires. Each of us will cut 1 wire...
The green one first, and then the red one, and then the black one, and then the last white one...
So, 2, 1, 3, 5 in that order...
If everyone agrees then we can start cutting the wires... Time's ticking!"
Fabio: "Yes, let's do it!"
*FABIO CUTS THE GREEN WIRE*
The Gov: "Phew! Okay.... Kaitlin! Cut the next one!! QUICKLY!"
*Kaitlin cuts the red wire*
Kaitlin: "SHIT!"
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THE MOLE'S VOICE, DISTORTED:
"YoU tRiEd FoOlS, bUt YoU fAiLeD.... YOU TRIED TO STEAL FROM ME, BUT INSTEAD YOU DIED! TRAGIC. CORRECT WIRE SEQUENCE?
2 5 3 1."
Taiha: "....what happened. We HAD this one!"
Fabio: "Just read it back. It's RIGHT to LEFT, Dave. Not left to right."
The Gov: ".....is it a bad time to mention that I'm dyslexic?"
Kaitlin: "YES, Governor! A terrible time!"
The Gov: "Hey, at least we're ending this season on a BANG, right?"
Taiha: *hisses at the Governor*
Fabio: "Welp. That's the show, folks! Good night! Buenas noches!"
Kaitlin: "Ah! Scary, who was that??"
Fabio: "What do you mean?"
Kaitlin: "There it is again! Who's talking?"
Fabio: "It's a-me, Fabio!"
Taiha: "Fabio?? Who's that?"
Fabio: "Har-har, VERY funny, everyone...."
Taiha: "I'm creeped out. Who IS this guy?"
Fabio: "What are you talking about Taiha you've been OBSESSED with me this last week."
Taiha: "Uhhhhhh..... David?"
The Gov: "Yeah mister, you're being very creepy. We don't know who you are."
Fabio: "This joke is old. Stop it."
The Gov: "You better not try to take advantage of these girls in the dark you creeper."
Fabio: "I would never! I'm married with kids and- god damn it! You know me! I'm real! I swear it!"
Taiha: "This is the final mission and EVERY season it's been a final 3.... So don't try to pretend you're a contestant. It's myself, Kaitlin, and the Guv in the finale 3, annnnnd then you, a stalker, perhaps?"
Fabio: "This is RIDÍCULO! Absolutely absurdo!"
Kaitlin: "Can we please get security in here? I don't feel safe."
Fabio: "By golly.... This takes 'invisible' to a whole new level....."
**********************************************************************
OBSTACLE 1: +$12
OBSTACLE 2: +$25
OBSTACLE 3: +$25
OBSTACLE 4: +$6
OBSTACLE 5: +$12
OBSTACLE 6: +$25
Taiha: "I volunteer to do my part again. I'm practically an expert at it!"
Kaitlin: "Mine was easy! Anyone can do it."
The Gov: "Can I do yours then? I'm afraid I bit off more than I could chew with the puzzle."
Kaitlin: "Sure thing. Fabio?"
Fabio: "Meh. I don't trust anyone else to do my part. Besides, I practiced juggling as a kid. So. I'm keeping mine."
Taiha: "We have no time to waste! Hurry!"
Taiha: "Alllllright. Here I go AGAIN."
The Gov: "Teeehehehee.... me 'tinks I hads toooooo muchhh to drink! Harharha.... ooh! Is that a live band.... I LoooOooooOve this song! 'Tis mah guilty pleasure!! Heeeheee!
....LET'S GO GIRLS."
COSTUME CHANGE!
The Gov: "FIN! ....MAN, I feel like a woman!!"
EVERYONE: "....."
Fabio: "That.... that was something."
Kaitlin: "Safe to say I'm scarred for life."
Taiha: "I'd like what HE'S having!!"
Fabio: "Well. The door is opening, so I guess that means we all succeeded?"
The Gov: "DARN TOOTIN'! W-wh-whaaaa did you ex-expect??? I was FABULOUSSSSS UP there!!"
PRODUCTION: "CONTESTANTS, PLEASE BE PATIENT AS WE WAIT FOR THE GOVERNOR TO SOBER UP BEFORE WE CONTINUE ON. THANK YOU!"
~
~
~
~
Taiha: "Sooooooo...."
The Gov: "Nope. Don't wanna talk about it."
Taiha: "Purfect. Let's continue on!"
THE GOVERNOR:
"What came over me today? No idea. Do I want to talk about it? Not particularly.
....Do I regret getting stupidly drunk?? Absolutely not!
Afterall, the press can't make fun of you if you're the one having all the fun, harharhahar!!"
OBSTACLE 6: WIL & PACCO'S TEST
 |
| Inspired by the mission 'EXAM' |
Taiha: "I don't see any instructions."
The Gov: "If I remember anything about that Exam mission.... that's the point."
Kaitlin: "You think it's that one we did?"
The Gov: "I'm pretty certain. What else would it be?"
Kaitlin: "Valid. Where's my coke can that I can throw at somebody?"
Fabio: "I figure the goal is to get to that door."
The Gov: "We got a real detective on our hands, folks."
Fabio: "....can't believe I'm saying this but I miss drunk Governor already."
Taiha: "Alright. Spread out and search, me lovelies!"
Kaitlin: "Guys, I found a light switch! Red and blue.... like red spy blue spy, maybe?"
The Gov: "Ooh that's nifty. I'm guessing these lights will make some sort of writing appear somewhere, either that or we press the red and blue buttons on and off rather vigorously and create some sort of rave party."
Taiha: "You already had your party in Izzy's room, Davy! This is Wil and Pacco's room.... Might have to think outside the box on this one. Kaitlin, hit the red light!"
Kaitlin: "What if we-"
Fabio: "Hold up! I see writing on the fake window."
Fabio: "Hmmm.... 'Appearances can be deceiving.... I would know. -Red Spy' ....that's interesting, but does it help us move on?"
The Gov: "True, it could always be a distraction.... but then again it's the only lead we got so far."
The Gov: "Everything in here is fake! This whole room is a fraud... computers are fake. Windows are fake. Hell that plant is fake, too. And yes, I already checked it for bugs."
Taiha: "....no one asked you to do that."
The Gov: "You'd be silly not to, Ms. Anderson. The Government is watching..... alllllwaaaaays watching...."
Kaitlin: "Creepier considering YOU'RE in the government."
Taiha: "Ha, got'em."
Fabio: "Why aren't you imbeciles checking for writing under the blue light too??"
Taiha: "You're right, Fabio! There's more writing!
'Take the leap of faith and don't look back.... trust me, I would know. -Blue Spy'."
Fabio: "What is she...."
Kaitlin: "Taiha, wait! Don't jump! You still have SO much to live for!!!"
The Gov: "SHE JUMPED!"
Kaitlin, Fabio, & The Gov: "..........."
Kaitlin: "...Taiha? How..... how did you know?"
Taiha: "The abyss was just an illusion, guys! Like in Indiana Jones!!
And the quotes; Take a leap of faith? Don't look back?? Appearances can be deceiving?!?
It's an invisible bridge, guys! Made of glass. It's completely safe! C'mon, let's go! We're soooooo close to the end!"
Kaitlin: "It's a good thing I didn't join the Air Force.... heights are NOT my thing!"
OBSTACLE 7: THE MOLE'S SECRET OFFICE
Taiha: "Oh, cool! All of the previous Moles with their own portraits.... Almost like previous Presidents?"
Kaitlin: "There's our girl!"
Taiha: "And there's my boy! I got him caught day ONE.... Just like this season. Well, maybe day two...." ;-)
The Gov: "Alien boy. If I'm ever President, I'll make sure to keep him away from Area 51...."
Fabio: "I still feel a little sleepy after those darts she shot up my you-know-what...."
Taiha: "EEEEEE!!! Izzy! She's such a rascal. Making us dance on a strippers pole of all things, ahaha."
The Gov: "Bleh. This guy made me lose last season! Him and that Pacco fellow."
Kaitlin: "Yes, but thanks to him I won a million dollars! So I'm thankful. And it was cool seeing him again this season.... And of course Maya. She would have loved making it this far, I think."
The Gov: "Dun dun dunnnnn...."
Fabio: "Ominous, isn't it?"
Taiha: "Depends. Is your face ominous?"
Fabio: "Jajajaja. Funny."
Kaitlin: "Hm...? What's this."
The Gov: "I have a feeling I know."
Taiha: "Huh? What do you see."
Kaitlin: "Money. 50k."
The Gov: "But also.... information."
Taiha: "In the form of the Mole's dossier?"
The Gov: "Precisely."
Taiha: "Sooooo I see a bomb.... So Imma take that money and go. Sound good to everyone?"
Fabio: "Yeah, this is a trap. This IS the final obstacle, after all.... You really think we're gonna get away that easily? Maybe if we take the money and run. But we can't get too curious. We've already been here longer than we should've.... It's a bit creepy. I feel like I'm being watched."
Kaitlin: "Might be because of the cameras, because, you know..... We're being filmed."
Fabio: "Yes, I know that! Come on, compadres. Let's get out of here with the money before--"
*Kaitlin and the Governor both reach for the Dossier*
*A motion sensor is tripped*
*Sudden shaking causes the portraits on the walls to fall*
Taiha: "What did you do, Governor??"
The Gov: "Don't look at me! Kaitlin grabbed the dossier too!"
Taiha: "LOOK what you've done! The walls are closing in on us!!"
*There's a thunderous grinding noise in the background*
Kaitlin: "Snakes, mazes, traps, heights AND claustrophobia.... Only thing missing is fire and crowds and my collection of fears is complete!! ....am I secretly related to Indigo? Jeez, when did I become such a coward?? Screw this, c'mon everyone, we gotta find a way outta here!"
Taiha: "Wait, QUIET! ....what's that ticking sound?"
The Gov: ".....perhaps the block of dynamite right next to us??"
Taiha: "Holy shishkabobs! ....more like shits-ka-BOOM, amiright?? Teehee."
Fabio: "I think I understand what's happening. By Kaitlin and David taking a peak at the Dossier, they've activated a trap. We could have walked out of here safely with the money, would've easily taking it from the Mole's grubby hands, but now if we want to save it, we have to save ourselves from this bomb and the walls closing in. So now..... We must diffuse the bomb."
Taiha: "So I TOTALLY know it's fake, but I ain't touching it. Because I've played Exploding Kittens enough to know that whoever goes first is risking it! And I ain't responsible for anymore blown up kitties!"
The Gov: "So how do we go about diffusing it? There's a pair of scissors next to it. And a bunch of wires."
Kaitlin: "Hold up! There's an instruction manual on the desk from some place called Bomb Corp.... Maybe they'll tell us what we need to diffuse this thing! Quick, everyone take a page!"
Taiha: "My step says under NO circumstances, do not cut the black wire!! Who has step 1?? Also... we only have a minute!!!"
Kaitlin: "Mine says cut all the even wires... and we can ignore step 2 because the red wire isn't next to the black wire."
The Gov: "Mine says to cut all the wires from left to right in order... except for Green, always cut the Green wire first. It then says if there are two white wires together don't cut either under any circumstances."
Fabio: "My step says Step 2 is supposed to say green instead of red, and step 4 is supposed to say red instead of white... also, ignore step 6. Also, we can probably ignore step 4 now, right? Since there's no two red wires."
Kaitlin: "Okay, okay... gah, this is so confusing. How much time is left??"
Fabio: "30 seconds."
Taiha: "Okay guys, listen! This is uber important... Step 5 says that in step 1 it should say odd not even."
Kaitlin: "You're just NOW telling us?? That changes everything!"
Taiha: "I just didn’t wanna say it until we got an official step 1.... didn’t want someone to lie about what step 1 was!"
Fabio: "We need to start cutting wires. We don't know how many there are that need to be cut."
Kaitlin: "Okay, okay... I think I got it... There will be 4 wires. Each of us will cut 1 wire...
The green one first, and then the red one, and then the black one, and then the last white one...
So, 2, 1, 3, 5 in that order...
If everyone agrees then we can start cutting the wires... Time's ticking!"
Fabio: "Yes, let's do it!"
*FABIO CUTS THE GREEN WIRE*
The Gov: "Phew! Okay.... Kaitlin! Cut the next one!! QUICKLY!"
*Kaitlin cuts the red wire*
Kaitlin: "SHIT!"
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THE MOLE'S VOICE, DISTORTED:
"YoU tRiEd FoOlS, bUt YoU fAiLeD.... YOU TRIED TO STEAL FROM ME, BUT INSTEAD YOU DIED! TRAGIC. CORRECT WIRE SEQUENCE?
2 5 3 1."
Taiha: "....what happened. We HAD this one!"
Fabio: "Just read it back. It's RIGHT to LEFT, Dave. Not left to right."
The Gov: ".....is it a bad time to mention that I'm dyslexic?"
Kaitlin: "YES, Governor! A terrible time!"
The Gov: "Hey, at least we're ending this season on a BANG, right?"
Taiha: *hisses at the Governor*
Fabio: "Welp. That's the show, folks! Good night! Buenas noches!"
Kaitlin: "Ah! Scary, who was that??"
Fabio: "What do you mean?"
Kaitlin: "There it is again! Who's talking?"
Fabio: "It's a-me, Fabio!"
Taiha: "Fabio?? Who's that?"
Fabio: "Har-har, VERY funny, everyone...."
Taiha: "I'm creeped out. Who IS this guy?"
Fabio: "What are you talking about Taiha you've been OBSESSED with me this last week."
Taiha: "Uhhhhhh..... David?"
The Gov: "Yeah mister, you're being very creepy. We don't know who you are."
Fabio: "This joke is old. Stop it."
The Gov: "You better not try to take advantage of these girls in the dark you creeper."
Fabio: "I would never! I'm married with kids and- god damn it! You know me! I'm real! I swear it!"
Taiha: "This is the final mission and EVERY season it's been a final 3.... So don't try to pretend you're a contestant. It's myself, Kaitlin, and the Guv in the finale 3, annnnnd then you, a stalker, perhaps?"
Fabio: "This is RIDÍCULO! Absolutely absurdo!"
Kaitlin: "Can we please get security in here? I don't feel safe."
Fabio: "By golly.... This takes 'invisible' to a whole new level....."
**********************************************************************
OBSTACLE 1: +$12
OBSTACLE 2: +$25
OBSTACLE 3: +$25
OBSTACLE 4: +$6
OBSTACLE 5: +$12
OBSTACLE 6: +$25
FINAL OBSTACLE: +0
Total = $105 going into group pot, $95 into the mole's stash
FINAL TOTAL!
Winner's Pot: $885
Mole's Earnings: $1115
(deductions from the Mole will still occur at the finale, so this is not final final)
