THE MOLE 7

GREY: "THANK YOU, THANK YOU! GOOD EVENING EVERYONE..... THANK YOU!

WELCOME TO THE GRAND FINALE OF.... THE MOLE!!!"

*the crowd goes wild*

GREY: "Hahahaha, wow! We should have done ALL our finales live... Look at all these Mole fans!"

GREY: "Okay, okay, settle down, everyone! I know, I know, tonight is a VERY momentous occasion... One that was 7 years in the making!"

GREY: "It is very bittersweet for me as well... As you know, I've been apart of this whole fiasco since the start.... well, I guess I wasn't much a part of it midway when I was in jail, but that's besides the point!"

GREY: *gulps* "Ah, look at me getting stage fright! I'm not used to all these bright lights and such a huge studio audience.... Damn. How do performers do this on the regular??"

GREY: "Where's KT! when you need her, amiright?? That was fun seeing her co-host, wasn't it? That whole Morgan thing was a little weird but hey, more cameos, right! And who doesn't love a fun cameo! ....unless it's Fabio or Beau, of course."

GREY: "SPEAKING of the devil, I almost forgot! The remaining four are all here, dressed and dolled up ready for their big night. Two of them are about to become millionaires..."

GREY: "There's two on my right...."

GREY: "And two on my left! Who is behind which door is anyone's guess!"

GREY: "Alright, you guys are probably tired of me yapping, right?"

*dozens shout and yell in agreement*

GREY: "Ahaha, alright, alright! I get it! Geez!"

GREY: "LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED, THEN!!"

GREY: "So let's bring out the party! Here is the executed cast, starting from the Mole's very first victim...."

"IZZY!"

Izzy: "Grey, you're lookin' like a complete SCHNACK tonight! I could eat you whole!"

GREY: "Hehehe, that's our favorite man-eater right there, everyone!"

GREY: "And now for the man who proposed on his elimination night....

SHAYNE HOLMES!"

Shayne: "Thanks for not calling me Sherlock this time, Grey."

GREY: "You are SO welcome.... Sherlock Holmes. TEEHEE!"

Shayne: "Ugh... this show never fails to torture me."

GREY: "Next up.... The WOMAN-eater himself...."

"KENNETH NOVA!"

Kenneth: "Hello my beautiful damsels! Didja miss me??"

Shayne: "Can't believe THIS guy won fan favorite on his season...."

GREY: "Next executed we have, in Kenneth's words.... THE FRENCH POODLE..."

"ARTIE STIQUE!"

Artie: "Bonjour!"

Artie: "Oh wow.... Juzt look at zis énorme Môle famille..... So many peuples! Eet iz so magnifique!!"

Kenneth: "I knew you had no reason to stay in the game after I left...." ;-)

Artie: "Erm. How doez one say..... 'ewww gross'!!"

Kenneth: "Dude, they always play so hard to get, don't they??"

Shayne: "So much for your maturing arc this season...."

GREY: "Next executed was...."

"THROVAN!"

Throvan: "Greetings, good humans."

GREY: "Well, I guess you weren't technically executed, but rather quit. And for good reason! You needed to defend your home territory. I assume things are better now for you to be here tonight?"

Throvan: "Yes, yes. A treaty was signed, and peace has been restored to all."

Artie: "Hoorah! Zat is so bien to hear!"

GREY: "That rounds out the first 5 chairs, but let's keep the party going! Next up...."

"INDIGO STONE!"

Indigo: "Insert witty opening line here! Hehe."

GREY: "And after Indie's demise we had our favorite hillbilly..."

GREY: "AIDEN HICKS!"

Aiden: "HOWDY EVERYBODEH!!"

GREY: "Yikes. No need to yell, Aiden! That's what your mic is for."

Aiden: "...Oh. Harhar, silleh rabbit! Tricks are for HICKS! OOOH-WHEEE!!"

Aiden: "Hay purdy ladeh."

Indigo: "I'm engaged."

Aiden: "Hehe. Ditto!!"

Indigo: "Really??"

Aiden: "...no." :(

GREY: "Hashtag-let's-find-Aiden-a-wife! Next up...."

"LINDA BLAKE!"

Linda: "Big crowd. High chance of a sniper in the area. Watch out for the code term, 'banana bread'."

GREY: "Uhhhh she's joking, folks! There are no snipers! This place is VERY secure! More secure than the Pentagon!!"

Linda: "The Pentagon is relatively weak. I would know, I work for the CIA. And did you secure the hills behind us?"

GREY: "......should we have? Uhhhhh never mind, MOVING ON!"

Aiden: "Evah considah livin' in a swamp??"

Linda: "If I wanted to marry Shrek I would've married Alberto Pretty."

Aiden: "Tehehehe you's a very funneh ladeh! ....but really, marreh me?"

Linda: "I don't think marriage will buff my current stats. Besides, this show doesn't need another dramatic proposal."

Indigo: "Hey!!"

GREY: "Next up......."

"MAYA HANSEN-SAMPSON!"

Maya: "Oh boy."

*crowd continues to applaud and scream*

GREY: "Don't be nervous! Enjoy the fame while it lasts, girl."

Maya: "Ayyy that's good advice! Give it up for the pregnant lady, then!! Cuz my feet are absolutely KILLING me."

Indigo: "You're hardly showing!"

Aiden: "...huh? Who dis?! WUT YOU DO TO DA QUEEN??"

Maya: "Have you not been keeping up since you're elimination??"

Aiden: "I don't gots no devil box back home in mah swamp in Miss'ippi!"

Maya: "Ummm it's a long story, ha-ha...."

GREY: "And lastly, for the most freshly executed, we have....."

"TAMELA WAKEFIELD!"

Tamela: "I'm bummed to not have made it to the finale again, but honestly this is just as delightful!"

GREY: "Alright! Thank you for taking a seat. And now for our first segment....."

GREY: "A LIVE EXECUTION!!!"

*the audience gasps in horror*

GREY: "No, not a real execution, you sillies! The only person I've personally killed is Nocturne... but I s'pose she survived. So the only person we've actually killed is Louis from season 4.... KIDDING! It was a JOKE!! Oh boy... Where's Waldo? I'm going to need a lawyer after that statement..."

GREY: "Alright. Let's hear it for the final four!! That's right, I lied! They're not behind the doors quite yet, they are actually backstage shaking with anxiety, hehehe."

GREY: "Starting with season 1 representation.... NWA CANITIA!"

*there's a surprisingly loud positive audience reaction*

Fabio: "I think we both know you said my name wrong on purpose, amigo." ;-)

GREY: "Don't think I did! Makes sense for Nwa, the first winner of this show to make it to the finale night again! And besides, the crowd wouldn't react so positively towards a nobody like Fabio."

Fabio: "Perhaps the audience loves me now?"

GREY: "HA! Bahahahaha.... You're too funny! Don't make me die from laughter, please."