EPISODE 20: ROLL THE CREDITS!

~DAY 30~

The Governor: "Tonight is the night! The end of the end. The final finale...."

Taiha: "Goodbye earth room.... Not nearly as good as the original, but homey nonetheless.... right, pumpkin??"

*She hisses*

Kaitlin: "Wow. Can't believe I'm doing this finale thing all over again! And thank you, Joss, because this bedroom was incredibly beautiful.... farewell."

Fabio: "Adios! Think I got all my stuff.... and yes all the others' stuff I stole too. What?? What's the harm in stealing a stray sock and Rolex watch here and there??"

The Gov: "C'mon camera boy. Let's get out of this shit hole."
Yan the Cameraman: "Yessir! Except.... I don't think I have a job after tonight." :-O
The Gov: "I'm sure I can set you up with something on my island!"
Yan the Cameraman: "Like vut?"
The Gov: "Not sure.... Are you good at foot massages?"
Yan the Cameraman: "Uhm. No zanks, governor..."

* * *

Taiha: "S-so this is goodbye?? Fabio my love, your handkerchief! I can't BEAR to say goodbye to another Mole house!"

Fabio: "Taiha. I thought we talked about this already. My heart belongs to another."
Taiha: "OOPS! Mah bad. Olds habits die hard, I suppose?"
Fabio: "Jajaja, you know nothing about 'old' compared to some...."

The Gov: "Is that supposed to be a dig at me?!"
Fabio: "Of course not David! You are as old as the sun is young."
The Gov: "....Heh?"

Kaitlin: "Our cab is here. Get your stuff! It's quiz time people."

Fabio: "Thank you, Mole House! Well, Mole House #2. It's been real."

Taxi Driver: "HURRY THE FECK UP! I DON'T GOT ALL DAY!"

THE FINAL QUIZ

 1. During the 2 Rooms & 1 Boom mission, what was the Mole's role?
a) Victim
b) President
c) Blue Spy
d) Blue Member

2. In the Molefia mission, what was the Mole's superpower?
a) Mind Control
b) Healing
c) Teleportation
d) Telekinesis

3. During the Draw-A-Phone mission, what did the Mole guess for the first round?
a) Dog
b) Spider
c) Cricket
d) The Mole was a drawer that round

4. In the Amazing Race mission, who was the Mole's partner?
a) Tamela
b) Indigo
c) Linda
d) Evarrine/Maya

5. During the Captured mission, which mode of transportation did the Mole take?
a) The Sea
b) The Sky

6. In the Pirate's Life For Me mission, what important item did the Mole possess in their jail cell?
a) Cup
b) Lantern
c) Tinderbox
d) Oil

7. During the Spyfall mission, how many points did the Mole rack up?
a) 8
b) 10
c) 12
d) 15

8. In the Murder in Clue Manor mission, what color was associated with the Mole?
a) Red
b) Orange
c) Purple
d) Green

9. During that Trapped Ever After mission, what chess character was the Mole?
a) Cyclops
b) Sphinx
c) Centaur
d) Nymph

10. In the Mole's Secret Hideout mission, did the Mole decide to grab the dossier?
a) Yes
b) No

11. What is the Mole's astrological sign?
a) Pisces
b) Leo
c) Sagittarius
d) Taurus

12. What season does the Mole prefer?
a) Summer
b) Winter

13. What is the Mole's favorite fruit?
a) Apples
b) Oranges
c) Guavas
d) Pears

14. What is the Mole's lucky number?
a) 3
b) 4
c) 13
d) 408

15. What is the Mole's mother's birthstone?
a) Peridot
b) Sapphire
c) Emerald

16. What is the Mole's father's Chinese Zodiac?
a) Ox
b) Snake
c) Rooster
d) Goat

17. What is the Mole's PIN number?
a) 6356
b) 1919
c) 1527
d) 1240

18. What time of day was the Mole born?
a) Morning
b) Evening
c) Midnight

19. What season is the Mole from?
a) Season 1
b) Season 2
c) Season 6

20. Who...... is...... THE MOLE?!?

 GREY: "THANK YOU, THANK YOU! GOOD EVENING EVERYONE..... THANK YOU!
WELCOME TO THE GRAND FINALE OF.... THE MOLE!!!"

*the crowd goes wild*

 GREY: "Hahahaha, wow! We should have done ALL our finales live... Look at all these Mole fans!"

 GREY: "Okay, okay, settle down, everyone! I know, I know, tonight is a VERY momentous occasion... One that was 7 years in the making!"

 GREY: "It is very bittersweet for me as well... As you know, I've been apart of this whole fiasco since the start.... well, I guess I wasn't much a part of it midway when I was in jail, but that's besides the point!"

GREY: *gulps* "Ah, look at me getting stage fright! I'm not used to all these bright lights and such a huge studio audience.... Damn. How do performers do this on the regular??"

GREY: "Where's KT! when you need her, amiright?? That was fun seeing her co-host, wasn't it? That whole Morgan thing was a little weird but hey, more cameos, right! And who doesn't love a fun cameo! ....unless it's Fabio or Beau, of course."

 GREY: "SPEAKING of the devil, I almost forgot! The remaining four are all here, dressed and dolled up ready for their big night. Two of them are about to become millionaires..."

GREY: "There's two on my right...."

GREY: "And two on my left! Who is behind which door is anyone's guess!"

GREY: "As you all know, this is the end of the end.... The end of The Mole era! This season will be our last, unfortunately, but that doesn't mean we lose our memories of all the great moments of the past.
This season's theme was Unfinished Business.  For some, a second chance at fame and fortune was their unfinished business. For others, it was about maintaining their hard-earned title. Either way you spin it, everyone this season had an established legacy, and this was their opportunity to change it for the better-- or worse.
A question I had in the beginning was:

'Will these players be able to control their destiny or succumb to their fate?'

It was partly about getting the opportunity to play again and rewrite the history books. 
But mainly? We just wanted to see our favorite players back! In fact, the fan favorite of every season was brought back, although I suppose technically Evarrine was never actually here! But she was in spirit, aye? 
Anyways, I just wanted to make a statement about this season's theme. 
On one hand, yes, it was about second chances, but it was also about celebrating 6 years of The Mole with our favorite players throughout the years.

....Alright, you guys are probably tired of me yapping, right?"

*dozens shout and yell in agreement*

GREY: "Ahaha, alright, alright! I get it! Geez!"

GREY: "LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED, THEN!!"

 GREY: "So let's bring out the party! Here is the executed cast, starting from the Mole's very first victim...."

"IZZY!"

 Izzy: "Grey, you're lookin' like a complete SCHNACK tonight! I could eat you whole!"

GREY: "Hehehe, that's our favorite man-eater right there, everyone!"

 GREY: "And now for the man who proposed on his elimination night.... 
 SHAYNE HOLMES!"

Shayne: "Thanks for not calling me Sherlock this time, Grey."
GREY: "You are SO welcome.... Sherlock Holmes. TEEHEE!"

Shayne: "Ugh... this show never fails to torture me."

GREY: "Next up.... The WOMAN-eater himself...."

"KENNETH NOVA!"

Kenneth: "Hello my beautiful damsels! Didja miss me??"

Shayne: "Can't believe THIS guy won fan favorite on his season...."

GREY: "Next executed we have, in Kenneth's words.... THE FRENCH POODLE..."

"ARTIE STIQUE!"

 Artie: "Bonjour!"

 Artie: "Oh wow.... Juzt look at zis énorme Môle famille..... So many peuples! Eet iz so magnifique!!"

Kenneth: "I knew you had no reason to stay in the game after I left...." ;-)
Artie: "Erm. How doez one say..... 'ewww gross'!!"
Kenneth: "Dude, they always play so hard to get, don't they??"
Shayne: "So much for your maturing arc this season...."

GREY: "Next executed was...."

"THROVAN!"

 Throvan: "Greetings, good humans."

 GREY: "Well, I guess you weren't technically executed, but rather quit. And for good reason! You needed to defend your home territory. I assume things are better now for you to be here tonight?"
Throvan: "Yes, yes. A treaty was signed, and peace has been restored to all."
Artie: "Hoorah! Zat is so bien to hear!"

 GREY: "That rounds out the first 5 chairs, but let's keep the party going! Next up...."

"INDIGO STONE!"

Indigo: "Insert witty opening line here! Hehe."

 GREY: "And after Indie's demise we had our favorite hillbilly..."

 GREY: "AIDEN HICKS!"

Aiden: "HOWDY EVERYBODEH!!"

 GREY: "Yikes. No need to yell, Aiden! That's what your mic is for."
Aiden: "...Oh. Harhar, silleh rabbit! Tricks are for HICKS! OOOH-WHEEE!!"

Aiden: "Hay purdy ladeh."
Indigo: "I'm engaged."
Aiden: "Hehe. Ditto!!"
Indigo: "Really??"
Aiden: "...no." :(

GREY: "Hashtag-let's-find-Aiden-a-wife! Next up...."

"LINDA BLAKE!"

Linda: "Big crowd. High chance of a sniper in the area. Watch out for the code term, 'banana bread'."
GREY: "Uhhhh she's joking, folks! There are no snipers! This place is VERY secure! More secure than the Pentagon!!"
Linda: "The Pentagon is relatively weak. I would know, I work for the CIA. And did you secure the hills behind us?"
GREY: "......should we have? Uhhhhh never mind, MOVING ON!"

Aiden: "Evah considah livin' in a swamp??"
Linda: "If I wanted to marry Shrek I would've married Alberto Pretty."
Aiden: "Tehehehe you's a very funneh ladeh! ....but really, marreh me?"

Linda: "I don't think marriage will buff my current stats. Besides, this show doesn't need another dramatic proposal."
Indigo: "Hey!!"
GREY: "Next up......."

"MAYA HANSEN-SAMPSON!"

Maya: "Oh boy."

*crowd continues to applaud and scream*

 GREY: "Don't be nervous! Enjoy the fame while it lasts, girl."

Maya: "Ayyy that's good advice! Give it up for the pregnant lady, then!! Cuz my feet are absolutely KILLING me."

 Indigo: "You're hardly showing!"
Aiden: "...huh? Who dis?! WUT YOU DO TO DA QUEEN??"
Maya: "Have you not been keeping up since you're elimination??"
Aiden: "I don't gots no devil box back home in mah swamp in Miss'ippi!"
Maya: "Ummm it's a long story, ha-ha...."

 GREY: "And lastly, for the most freshly executed, we have....."

 "TAMELA WAKEFIELD!"

Tamela: "I'm bummed to not have made it to the finale again, but honestly this is just as delightful!"

 GREY: "Alright! Thank you for taking a seat. And now for our first segment....."

GREY: "A LIVE EXECUTION!!!"

*the audience gasps in horror*
GREY: "No, not a real execution, you sillies! The only person I've personally killed is Nocturne... but I s'pose she survived. So the only person we've actually killed is Louis from season 4.... KIDDING! It was a JOKE!! Oh boy... Where's Waldo? I'm going to need a lawyer after that statement..."

GREY: "Alright. Let's hear it for the final four!! That's right, I lied! They're not behind the doors quite yet, they are actually backstage shaking with anxiety, hehehe."

GREY: "Starting with season 1 representation.... NWA CANITIA!"

*there's a surprisingly loud positive audience reaction*

Fabio: "I think we both know you said my name wrong on purpose, amigo." ;-)

GREY: "Don't think I did! Makes sense for Nwa, the first winner of this show to make it to the finale night again! And besides, the crowd wouldn't react so positively towards a nobody like Fabio."
Fabio: "Perhaps the audience loves me now?"
GREY: "HA! Bahahahaha.... You're too funny! Don't make me die from laughter, please."

".....TAIHA ANDERSON, everyone!"

Taiha: "By golly.... Everything has led up to this night....."

GREY: "Care to elaborate?"

Taiha: "Nawh. I'm good, mutt man."

GREY: "Annnd coming on stage now is GOVERNOR DAVID BYRD!"

The Gov: "Hehehe...."

The Gov: "....Did I just hear someone boo me?! MORE TAXES FOR YOU, SIR!"

The Gov: "Thank you, thank you, thanks for the warm welcome. I'll be here all night! ...quite literally! Harhahaha!!"

 GREY: "And last to be joining us on stage is....."

"KAITLIN HARLOW!"

 Kaitlin: "Oh, woah.... So many people.... Hi everyone!"

GREY: "Alright. I know having a live elimination is unprecedented, but so is having 4 people make it to finale night!
We really prefer to stick to tradition with 3 doors, so unfortunately for one of you, your dreams end here..."

GREY: "LIGHTS, please!"

GREY: "Above you all lies a screen."

GREY: "You know the procedure.... If the screen turns green?"

"You are safe!"

GREY: "BUT if the screen turns red?"

"You are executed."

 GREY: "Mister Fabio.... We'll start with you. Will you get a door to sit behind tonight?"

 GREY: "Can't believe I'm saying this but congratulations Fabio! You made it to the final 3!"

GREY: "We have two previous winners on stage right now.... Is one of them about to be eliminated?
Taiha.... Here are your results!"

The Gov: "Oh sweet baby jesus. Think I just suffered from a minor  heart attack!!"

Kaitlin: "That's what happens when you come after my crown."

Kenneth: "Sorry Kit-Cat-Cutey! For what it's worth, my money was on you!!"

Taiha: "Honestly, mine too!"

GREY: "It's official, Taiha. You are the Mole's final victim this season."

 *the audience boos loudly*

GREY: "WOW. Quite the reaction! Can barely hear myself. What do you think prompted tis reaction??"

 Taiha: "That, my friend, is the sound of the citizens of Mole Town disappointed that their Queeeeeen has fallen!"

GREY: "Well, I'm sure you have a lot to say! We'll get to that right after this commercial break."

 GREY: "Stay tuned, viewers, because my exclusive interview with the most recently executed player, Taiha Anderson, is next!!"

**********************************



TONIGHT'S SHOW IS SPONSORED BY.....


SEARS
(Best commercial from Season 1)

PANDA CHEESE
(Best commercial from Season 2)

OLD SPICE
(Best commercial from Season 3)

**********************************




GREY: "Welcome back ladies and germs to the grand finale of The Mole: Unfinished Business!"

GREY: "Sitting with me now is none other than the legendary Taiha Anderson."

GREY: "Taiha, it's safe to say that the audience was pretty shocked and disappointed to see you eliminated tonight. How shocked were you?"

Taiha: "Shocked would be an understatement. I thought I had this one in the bag this season! But I guess the only thing I had in my bag this time was more cats again! Whoopsies! Heheehee."

GREY: "What made you think you were going to win yet again?"

Taiha: "I had the Mole pinned since like day 2 or 3. Believe it or not, but I found a major clue at the beginning of the season just like I did my first season. So naturally I figured I was gonna win again! Are you suuuuure you got the results right, Greyson??" ;-)

GREY: "It's not up to me! I don't know the results myself until they happen live."

Taiha: "Well, maybe it was a decoy clue? Or we all got perfect scores?"

GREY: "Can't confirm anything just yet, but I WILL say you got the lowest score on the final quiz."
Taiha: "Hmm.... If you say so!"

GREY: "Right. So how does it feel to get the red screen of death? You have never been executed before."

Taiha: "It's a bit humbling! I'll say that much. I came into this fully expecting to maintain my title as the Mole Queen, and be the only two-time winner. But I see that dream is crushed."

GREY: "Well, only partially. You may never get to say you're a two-time winner, but you've obviously left quite the mark on this show. I'd EVEN go as far as to say you are the most iconic player to play this game. You are essentially the face of this show, behind me, of course.... and trust me, that isn't easy for me to admit!"

Taiha: "Well, thanks Grey.... I still hate you for ruining my cat sanctuary but that was very nice of you to say! The Mole has been such a huge part of my life this last decade, and I honestly don't know where I'd be right now without it."

GREY: "Probably in a cabin somewhere with a hundred cats, maybe."

Taiha: "Hehe, yeah, maybe!!"

GREY: "What's next for you? A reboot of Mini Mole, perhaps? And your brother, Remy? Sister Maya? Your parents?? All a bunch of reality show stars! Is this it? Is your family retiring from the reality show scene? Or can we expect to see the famous crazy cat lady in our screens again in the future?"

Taiha: "That.... that all remains to be seen. I'll leave it at that!"

GREY: "Haha, sounds good! Thank you, Taiha. I know we've had our.... moments this season, as well as season 2! But honestly, you've been such an entertaining and intelligent contestant on this show, and if I'm being honest, I'm not sure where the show would be without you either! So thank you once again, and good luck to you and your family's future."

Taiha: "Thanks Grey! I so appreciate that! OMG I can't believe this show is FINALLY ending.... Look at me getting all teary-eyed! Gah!!"

 GREY: "Well, it's not ending quite yet! We still have much unfinished business to attend to.... Mole reveals, winner reveals... Speaking of which: let's crown the winner, shall we??
....right after this commercial break!"
*The audience groans in dismay*

GREY: "Annnnd we're back once again!"

GREY: "Before we reveal the winner of the season, let's get the cast's reaction to their most recent fallen comrade."

GREY: "Who was surprised to see Taiha executed tonight?"

Izzy: "I certainly was! Honestly, I thought she was gonna pull off another W. It's funny now though, she and I are on opposite sides of the spectrum. There's a common debate about whether or not it's worse to be eliminated first, or right before the end. And considering I'm pretty envious of how much more playtime she got than me, I'm happy to put this debate to rest... Getting out first SUCKS ASS!!!"

 GREY: "Language, Izzy! Must I remind you this is LIVE?!"
Izzy: "What, like you don't suck Kenzen's ass every Friday night?"
GREY: "Ayyyyy guess you got me there!"

Taiha: "Yeah, getting executed first is the worst, but at least it doesn't sting as bad as getting eliminated last! You're much, MUCH more invested in the game!"

Artie: "Alzough I am très surprise zat Taiha waz éliminé, I am plus shocked zat Fabio iz still in ze game! Who knew he had zuch game en him?? I absolument underestimated him en ze begin of ze saison!! In mon opinion, he haz proven 'imself by making eet to ze finale, and deserves a lot more le respect than I've given him zis far..... Buen trabajo, amigo!"
Tamela: "Yes, Fabio winning would definitely be the ultimate redemption arc!"

 Linda: "If the NPC wins this, I'm calling hacks!"

Aiden: "Hay now! Fabio is ah good fella! Unlike dat filthy political hippo who tinks he deserves ah statue of 'imself or somethang. Bleh. What an ego! He betta not win dis or I'm gonna eat ah rock!"

Linda: "At least the Governor is strategic! And has actually tried to LOOK like the Mole! Fabio doesn't even know how to play this game. He's too nice and doesn't sabotage."
Aiden: "Nice guys don' always finish last, y'know!"
Linda: "They do in The Mole. Look at you!"
Aiden: "Humph!"

 Artie: "Speaking of statues, I waz going to bring up mon latest art projet, but I see ze mood iz now spoilt."

Maya: "Nah, bring it up anyway!"

Artie: "Alzight.... Ever sinze mon execution, I've been at ze Mesa Gallery, to help mon dear amie Jasmine Yves set up 'er galerie. I zen found a giant mesa roche zat reminded me a little of your head, Aiden! So of course I start sculpting eet to la perfection!"

GREY: "Did you bring it? Or at least have a pic of it?"
Artie: "Erm... non."
GREY: "Then why the fuck would you bring it up Miss Fartie Stique."

Artie: "Uhhh...."

Aiden: "Hay! Dat's rude!"

Aiden: "Don' mind him, ma'am! Dat's really kewl! Maybes you can show it to meh sometimes?"

Artie: "Oui, of course!"

Aiden: "Al'ight, hehehe. Can' wait! Sounds real nice, I bet it's real funneh lookin... Not cuz you bad at all! I bet you real good at sculptin'. Just dat it's so accurate lookin dat it looks jus' like mah funneh lookin face wit mah big nose!"

Artie: "Ahaha, non worries! I comprends what you meant. Do non worry, ze sculpture iz as beau and handsome as you, hehe."

Aiden: :3

Artie: :3

GREY: "Hear that sound? That's the sound of a restless audience of thousands!"

GREY: "I think it's time we stop stalling, and get right to the reveal of the winner of this All-Star season, what do ya say??"

GREY: "3 doors. 3 contestants. One Mole, one runner-up, and one WINNER to take home all the money accumulated in the group pot... Who will it be?"

 GREY: "Let's find out! They all have a key, but only ONE key will unlock their door..."

GREY: "Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you...."

"The WINNER of THE MOLE, UNFINISHED BUSINESS........."

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 "KAITLIN HARLOW!"

*The crowd goes wild*

GREY: "Congratulations, Kaitlin! ....yet again. Two wins in a row!!"

Kaitlin: "This must be what deja-vu feels like...."

Kaitlin: "Wow...."

GREY: "Come on over, Miss Africa! We still have another major reveal in store for everyone!"

Izzy: "Congrats, girlie!"
Tamela: "Well done, love. I knew it would be you!"
Taiha: "Fine. You can have my crown, but NOT my title!"

Kaitlin: "Is it that time, again?"

GREY: "Why yes, yes it is. You have the honors of revealing the Mole.... go on ahead."

*Grey hands over the key*

Kaitlin: "Thank you, Grey."

 GREY: "Who will it be? The forgotten and most boring contestant of all time from our earliest season, or, the fan favorite from our most recent season?"

GREY & KAITLIN:
"The Mole is......."

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 "GOVERNOR DAVE BYRD!!!"

 The Gov: "Gotta love the Guv!"

 Linda: "Shockerrrrr....."
Maya: "Drats! I KNEW it too!"
Indigo: "Wowza!!"
Aiden: "I cun't believes it!"
Artie: "Bravo, Gouverneur."

The Gov: "Thank you everyone, now, drinks are on me!!"
GREY: "Actually, Governor, this is an alcohol-free zone--"


The Gov: "Ahhh SCREW your prohibition laws! No really, fuck 'em!
I suppose this is as good a time as any, since I currently have your attention: but this is my OFFICIAL announcement that me, the Governor Byrd that you all know and love, is RUNNING FOR THE 2020 AMERICAN PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION! That's right! I'm regaining my US citizenship and running for office against that orange chimpanzee. And when I'm president, there will be free scotch for all!!"

 The Gov: "Oh, and big congrats are in order for you, Ms. Harlow. I knew you were going to be one of my greatest hurdles to maintaining my cover, and I see you did not disappoint. Too bad there won't be another season for you to pull off a hat trick!"
Kaitlin: "Thank you, Dave. I appreciate it. And yes, what a shame."

 GREY: "And there you have it! The two big reveals of the night done and over with."

GREY: "But don't go away just yet! We still have much in store for ya, so stay tuned!"

 The Gov: "Say, what becomes of that Fabby guy? Is he technically second place?"

 GREY: "Oh yeah, oops. Forgot about him.... as per usual. We'll talk about placements soon! But we can just leave him in there for a bit. Not like he has any fans excited to see him, ha!"

GREY: "After the break, we'll see Kaitlin's road to victory, as well as behind the scenes footage of the Gov's treacherous path to becoming one of the most entertaining and notorious Moles this show has had!"

(a voice in the distance): "Hola!? Can someone let me out of here? ¡Estoy atrapado!
Hello? Someone, anyone!!?"
GREY (whispering): "Ignore that."

 GREY: "....We'll be right back!!"

**********************************



TONIGHT'S SHOW IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY.....


HONDA
(Best commercials from Season 4)

FED-EX
(Best commercial from Season 5)

SPY VERSUS SPY
(Best commercials from Season 6)

**********************************

GREY: "Welcome back to the live series finale of THE MOLE!"

GREY: "Joined with us now is the entire final 3, including the Forgettable Fabio."

Fabio: "Not anymore, pendejo!"

GREY: "Alright! Posted on the screen behind me is the quiz scores and rankings throughout the season!"

GREY: "Not shown is Izzy, who also got a score of 2 along with Shayne. Her top suspect was Indigo, then Linda, then Shayne."

GREY: "Right, so, a few interesting things to note!"

GREY: "First off, many of the producers very early on expected Artie would take this season, considering she was the only person to put the Governor on the top of her ranking 3 times in a row; but when she was executed, it suddenly opened up to be anyone's game!"

GREY: "Then about halfway through, it was a close one between Maya, Tamela, Taiha, and Kaitlin. All FOUR women had the Governor pinned from the very start too!
 Essentially, a woman was destined to win this season."

GREY: "I personally expected Maya to pull it off, but then.... her confidence faltered, and she erroneously started to suspect Kaitlin over the Governor; which, as you'll see later, is thanks to both Kaitlin being extra sus, and the Mole being extra sneaky!"

GREY: "So that left the race between just Taiha, Kaitlin, and Tamela, right....?"

 GREY: "Wrong! Fabio had just entered the race too, and quite strongly at that!
His social game was apparently better than Tamela's, as he was able to correctly answer the security question that Tamela could not; quite ironic, considering Tamela's background in hacking......
And the rest is history; Kaitlin vs Taiha vs Fabio."

GREY: "Taiha, who claims she found a clue very early on, was expecting a double-win. Unfortunately for her, she slipped up, answering 'Team Sky' instead of 'Team Sea' for the last quiz, giving her a score of 19, and that one mishap was enough to give her her first red screen during tonight's live execution ceremony."

Taiha: "Cat-damn-it! Sea, sky, same thing! They're both places where kitties don't belong!!"

GREY: "However.... Even if Taiha HAD gotten a perfect score, Kaitlin would still have won, considering she knew the Mole for a longer and more consistent period of time; she put the Governor on the top of her ranking every single time, except for the second quiz."

GREY: "Additionally, out of those 3, Kaitlin was also the most universally suspicious to other players, indicating an even stronger game. On top of that, she ALSO earned the most exemptions out of anyone this season, with a total of FOUR exemptions."

GREY: "Still not convinced that she deserved the win?? Then let's take a direct look at her game, starting from the very beginning of the season!!"

IN THE BEGINNING, SHE MADE A RATHER BOLD AND CONFIDENT ENTRANCE...

???: "Not so fast, ladies! The REAL Mole Queen is here."

GREY: "Everyone, please welcome perhaps your greatest competition thus far...."

 GREY: "KAITLIN HARLOW!"

IN FACT, HER TRAITS OF BEING BOLD AND COURAGEOUS PUT HER IN THE GRYFFINDOR HOUSE.... perhaps a Hermione in the making? 



SHE DOMINATED IN THE MISSIONS, EARNING ONE EXEMPTION AFTER ANOTHER

Taz: "Ahhh congratulations, Team Do It Again! You are the FIRST team to arrive!!"

Kailtin: "You forget. I still have a chance to come out of this in one piece [and an exemption], and that's if I figure out the witness.... I'm looking at YOU, woman doctor!!"

Kaitlin: "Copy that, Blanche. Thanks for the exemption!"

EVEN AT THE COST OF THE GROUP POT, SHE TOOK THE RISK OF GRABBING THE MOLE'S DOSSIER, A STRATEGIC MOVE TO HELP HER IN THE FINAL QUIZ

GRANTED, SHE PROBABLY DIDN'T NEED IT, SEEING AS SHE WAS ONTO THE GOVERNOR AND HIS SLEAZY WAYS FROM THE VERY START 

Kaitlin: "I'm sure it's that sleazy Governor.... He thinks he is above the law to anything he pleases...
VOTE: GOVERNOR"

ONE COULD ARGUE THAT SHE PERHAPS, AT TIMES, PLAYED TOO HARD.... GOING FULL BALLS TO THE WALL

The Gov: "Yeah, you are going waaaay too fast. What's the rush, Ms. Harlow?"

Kaitlin: "Sometimes.... You just gotta grab the world by its balls."

Indigo: "So who are we going to place a speed bump under?"

Taiha: "I think the season 6 girls are ahead the most, they already finished their castle!"

Tamela: "Excuse me?"

Kaitlin: "Karma is a bitch. So enjoy this YIELD advantage we found!"

Indigo: "What does that do??"

Tamela: "Forces the two of you to wait behind until we've advanced to the next checkpoint, yielding to us."

Taiha: "Awww pooper scoopers!"

Kaitlin: "That's right. You BETTA not mess with Team Let's Do It Again!!"

Tamela: "Where has this confident Kaitin been hiding?! I like it!"

Kaitlin: "Thanks gals, I think I got it from here. You must all be starving, so go inside and eat."

Taiha: "What about you? You gotta be hungry too?"
Kaitlin: "No, I'm good. My main priority right now is finding Tamela ASAP. She needs me."

BUT OF COURSE, SHE WASN'T WITHOUT HER SABOTAGE TOO... AND ONLY THE BEST MOLE PLAYERS KNOW HOW

The Gov: "And where are you going?"
Kaitlin: "Across."

Kaitlin: "C'mon pirate."

Pirate: "What's the next move there, Captain?"

Kaitlin: "I'm thinking either one of you or both--AH!"

Pirate: "You've been outnumbered. Hand the coins over! All of 'em! NOW!!"

"NO"

Taiha: "Kaitlin, that's too specific! That's like a guess. We need to start broad and then slowly get more specific as we go along.... like, DOES IT HAVE LEGS?"
VOICE: "YES"

Kaitlin: "Hmm... IS IT AN ANIMAL?"
VOICE: "UNSURE; MOST LIKELY? YES."
Fabio: "Wait, why did you ask if it's an animal if we already know it's alive and has legs? You ended up wasting a question, Kaitlin."

"The Governor guessed CRICKET, in which Indigo drew..."

"Kaitlin guessed SPIDER"

"Throvan guessed PUMPKIN, in which Kaitlin drew..."

Kaitlin: "Uh-oh."

Kaitlin: "AUGH!"

AND AS THE KILLER IN THE CLUE MISSION, SHE TRIED HER HARDEST TO THWART THE GROUP'S EFFORTS IN ORDER FOR SELF GAIN; A VERY MOLE-LIKE MOVE INDEED...

Sunset: "I guess that it's Lady Amethyst in the Study with the Pencil and she left behind her Hair Ribbon!"

*Lady Amethyst smirks creepily*

UNLIKE HER FIRST SEASON, HER SOCIAL GAME WAS STRONG

 WE SAW HER BLOSSOM INTO A BUTTERFLY LAST SEASON, BUT THIS SEASON, SHE CONTINUED TO EVOLVE, ADAPTING TO THE GAME HOWEVER SHE SAW FIT, MAKING ALLIANCES LEFT AND RIGHT, AND MAKING STRONG BONDS


NATURALLY, SHE MAINTAINED AND STRENGTHENED HER RELATIONSHIP WITH HER NUMBER ONE ALLY FROM BEFORE: TAMELA

PERHAPS UNNATURALLY, WE SAW HER TRUST A MAN FOR THE FIRST TIME; THAT MAN BEING FABIO.

Kaitlin: "Fabio, the fact our coalition works so well is BECAUSE no one knows."

EVEN NEAR THE END GAME, SHE WAS STILL ACCEPTING COALITIONS.

Taiha: "Hey Kit-Kat! Real quick.... You and I are the only previous winners on this season, right?"

Kaitlin: "Right."

Taiha: "Well. I propose we work together!"

ADDITIONALLY, KAITLIN HAD THE MOST TRAGIC UNFINISHED BUSINESS OUT OF ANYONE; AN UNREQUITED LOVE STORY-
 

-AND A LOST DAUGHTER.

Kaitlin: "After I won a year later, I went back to find the witch in the woods... But her house was burnt down."

"She was gone... and so was my baby."

Kaitlin: "Part of the reason I came back to play again is because.... is because.....

My unfinished business is trying to relocate my daughter."

Kaitlin (whispering softly but urgently): "No, don't listen to the evil witch's jokes, sweet girl. She is not funny making such horrid 'jokes' about sweet little angels like you."

Kaitlin: "..... I know you are out there somewhere. I know you are still alive. I can feel it. Momma will find you soon. Okay? Do you trust me? I WILL find you, I promise..................... I promise."

WHETHER OR NOT SHE FINISHES HER BUSINESS REMAINS TO BE SEEN, BUT KAITLIN PLAYED YET ANOTHER MASTERFUL GAME, PERFECTLY BALANCING THE 4 MAIN CRITERIA IT TAKES TO WIN:
EARNING MONEY FOR THE POT, 
PUTTING SUSPICION ON YOURSELF,
AVOIDING EXECUTION AT ALL COSTS,
AND, MOST IMPORTANTLY....
HUNTING DOWN THE MOLE.

~        ~        ~        ~        ~



???: "EXCUSE ME! I must speak with Kaitlin."

Kaitlin: "...Huh?"

???: "Yes, pardon me! Over here!! I'm coming up on stage."

GREY: "What's happening? Guards! Don't just stand there, do something! Some crazy woman is interrupting our show!"

 ???: "Stand down, Grey. All is well and good."

V: "It is I....V.... AGENT V!"

V: "And thanks largely to Tamela and our colleagues at the United Nations, we were able to track down the 'witch in the woods'.... Also known as Amara Lesedi.
Unfortunately she passed away a few months ago, but before she did, she brought this little angel into an orphanage....."

 
 Tamela: "It took a lot of people to track and locate your daughter, Kaitlin... But we did it. We brought your baby home."

 Kaitlin: "A-are you s-sure it's mine...?"

 The Gov: "This isn't the Jerry Springer show! CLEARLY she's yours based on the size of them eye balls!"

*the crowd falls to a hushed silence*

V: "Here.... would you like to hold her?"
Kaitlin: "...."
V: "Kaitlin?"
Kaitlin: "I..... I can't."
V: "Pardon??"

Kaitlin: "I cannot hold her.... I don't deserve to."

Kaitlin: "I abandoned her the way my parents abandoned me. They didn't deserve me, the same way I don't deserve her.... there..... there is no-no w-way I can loo-look into her eyes, after knowing what I did to her..... I am not a true mother, and I never will be."

Tamela: "Kaitlin...."

 Tamela: "If there's ANYTHING in this world I know to be true, it is that this young girl wouldn't be able to find a stronger and more qualified mother out there. She needs you the same way I needed my mom.... unfortunately I lost her to cancer, and there was nothing about that I could do. But right now, at this very moment, you're both here together, and there's no hurdles in your way anymore.
Kaitlin.... You deserve to be her mother because you ARE her mother."

Maya: "It's okay, Kaitlin. You deserve her more than you could ever even imagine. I know you're not ready.... and I know you're scared. I am too. We're young, but that doesn't mean we're clueless! We are going to be great mothers... or at least you are! I'm not sure how Wil and I will fare with TWINS.... But either way, I know my maternal instinct will kick in and I'll love and protect them like nothing before. I'm not saying it will be easy, far from it....  but it's going to be the best and most rewarding decision you'll ever make."

Linda: "You got this, Kaitlin! And if the baby dies, just restart the game, right, Artie??"

Artie: "Oui! Wait... huh? I mean... non! No restarts en real life, Linda! Remember zat...."

Artie: "You are more prepared zan you zink, mon friend... We believe en you, and we are 'ere for you!"

Taiha: "Yesss! Just think of the cute litter of grandkittens you'll have!! ...oh wait. That's just me. But still!! Think of the future grandbabies!"

Indigo: "We support you Kaitlin! Follow your heart!!"

 Izzy: "Kaitlin, you are literally the bravest, fiercest, and strongest woman I know.... You are the best role model a young girl could ask for. Hell, I wish you were MY mom!!"

V: "So? What is your decision."

 Kaitlin: "A-are you girls sure I would make a good mother??"

 Everyone in unison: "YES!"

 Kaitlin: "T-Tamela?"
Tamela: "Go to her, Kaitlin. She needs you."

 Maya: "And remember, if you ever need help-- knowing you, you probably won't! But we'll be here for you. Always."

 Kaitlin: "......Okay."

 V: "Okay what?"

Kaitlin: "I will hold her.... because she is MY daughter."

Kaitlin: "Oh, wow! Look how big you've gotten!"

Kaitlin: "And so HEAVY too! At least they've been feeding you well, hahaha."

 Kaitlin: "....thank you, V. Truly."

V: "Don't thank me, thank Agent Wakefield! She did most of the heavy lifting. I'm just honored to be here for this nice little reunion.... There IS some minor paperwork you'll need to do to become her guardian again, but we'll do that later. For now, enjoy the time you have with her again.... Oh. And she's going to need a name, since she's technically not in the system yet."

 Kaitlin: "That one's easy..... Her name is Amara. Amara Harlow. Named not after the witch in the woods.... but the guardian angel of the woods, who found me struggling, took me in, and cared for my baby when I couldn't.
May she rest in peace and live on in memory through her."

Maya: "I'm not crying.... YOU ARE!!"

 V: "Alright. I'll take that as my cue to leave."
Kaitlin: "Wait,  before you do.... What was the end of last season's finale all about? Your eyes?"
V: "Oh, that? THAT is the toppest of TOP SECRETS, my friend."

Kaitlin: "Mysterious one, aren't you?"
V: "Mystery creates wonder.... something this world could always use more of."
Kaitlin: "I see."

 V: "Goodbye little munchkin!"
*Amara giggles*

Kaitlin: "I will NEVER let you go again, I promise................. I promise."

GREY: "Wowza! What an unexpectedly emotional moment, right? And there wasn't a dry eye in the room!"

"Well, enough of that. That was cute and all but we still have a finale to finish! Sooo.... let's finish it!"

"And now for perhaps my favorite segment of these things.... We will have a look into the Mole's devious mind throughout the season, what he thought, what he did, or what he THOUGHT he did, or if he did what he thought, or...."

"Never mind, just roll the tape!"

GREY: "Last but not least, everyone get ready to welcome our final contestant..."

GREY: "GOVERNOR DAVE BYRD!"

 The Gov:  "Now, I'm gonna be good 'ole honest Dave right now and admit my unfinished business, originally, was to reverse the negative image the show gave me last season, which I  joined to reverse the public's negative image of me in the FIRST place!

But then, I hear I'm the Mole??"


  The Gov: "Must admit, I am excited! 

But one slight problem? This isn't going to help my image at all, being a sneaky two-faced liar on an international television show.... I'm a GOOD politician-"

Yan the Cameraman: "That's an oxymoron, Guv."

The Gov: "-shut your pie hole! I serve my citizens, I am a good public servant! 

...

So needless to say, my unfinished business is a bit irrelevant.... Now, I just want to have fun, and enjoy myself a bit more than I did my last time out here. This time, I know I'm going to last the whole season, so time to buckle up chucks, cuz you ain't seen NOTHIN yet! The Guv is here to stay, and I'm going to troll everyone the whole ride through. 

This is my vacation AWAY from vacation on my tropical island, so you better bet I'm out here to have some good 'ole fashion fun.... The David Byrd way!"

MISSION 1:
2 ROOMS & 1 BOOM


Artie: "So; who will be ze leader?"

Linda: "I'll nominate the Governor. He's the leadership type, I'm sure he'd know what to do. "

Artie: "But would he lead widz classe and honnêteté? I zink not!"
Linda: "Then whom would you suggest?"
Artie: "Ze elf? He's already revealed 'imself as a zhird party player!"

The Gov: "How the hell does that benefit you though? His allegiance is to himself, not red, nor blue, nor any other greys besides Juliet!"
Artie: "Better zhan accidentellement electing a red team membre!"

The Gov: "Aha! Freudian slip?"
Artie: "Non. I am a bleu team membre myself, but you do not 'ave to believe moi."
The Gov: "Hm... A fellow 'Democrat', eh?" *coughs* "Show us the evidence or it didn't happen!"

Artie: "No zank you."

Tamela: "I know how to settle this."
Linda: "Do share."

Tamela: "Heads for Throvan, tails for the Governor."

The Gov: "Why, because I'm the asshole? The elf is the one with the tail! Look at those eyes. I'd be damned if his grandmother wasn't a cat!"

Tamela: "Heads. Looks like Throvan is our Leader."
The Gov: "What sort of twisted Democracy is this?!?"

The Gov: "Well... *Coughs loudly* That was a damn farce! I didn't get the opportunity to sabotage as much as I would have liked this first mission but I'm not worried, these losers ain't seen nothing yet!"

MISSION 2:
MAFIA: SUPERHERO EDITION

Fabio: "With 7 alive, it only takes 4 to lynch this time. We must be careful! We can't screw this one up."

The Gov: "Judging by our track record... I'm pretty sure we will. And also I think Ms. Roland is bad, so there's that too. VOTE: EVARRINE."

Evarrine: "You think I am bad just because I lit a Hero on fire?!?"

The Gov: "Uh..... yes. That is precisely why I think you're bad, yes, thank you for saying it so eloquently, my dear Queen!"

Taiha: "So I think the Gov is totes bad news. Most of the people left trust the *cough* fake *cough* Queen, soooo VOTE: THE GOVERNOR."

Indigo: "I think my girl Tay-Tay is onto something here. VOTE: THE GOVERNOR."

The Gov: "That is simply the best example of a bandwagon that I have EVER laid witness to. My scum radar is off the charts, Miss Stone.... Or is it Mrs. Holmes now?"

Indigo: "Don't try to change the subject you crook!"

Aiden: "I'm gettin' real hungreh for dis supposed 'feast' we be havin' soon, and I ain't so sure wut goin' on anyway so Imma just VOTE: GUV."

The Gov: "This is ludicrous! I'm surrounded by traitors!!"

Fabio: "Erm... I guess I'll just tag along and vote with the majority. VOTE: THE GOV. Sorry dad-- I mean dude! I meant dude!!"

Beau: "4 votes is enough! Loki, if you wouldn't mind scooting your booty over yonder to the Molecular Disentigrator. That would be great."

The Gov: "You idiots! What have you done?! In what world do I make sense as a Villain? The Rogue, maybe, but a Villain!? Eurgh... Good job everyone, you just handed the Mole $200,000.

 Season of All-Stars? More like the season of IMBECILES!"

{The Governor was a HERO}

The Gov: "Now that was more my type of game, when it comes to bare face lying I am in a whole different league! These amateurs basically handed me that one on a plate garnished with a side order of failure!
They are all so busy trying to look suspicious that I can just sit on my fat backside and "chillax" as the Millennials might say.
Still, I helped the Mafia along by giving out misinformation and by diverting attention from them and onto myself... *coughs* ... They can thank me later...
Anywho, It's time to step up my game, With all the fake sabotages these kids are playing at it's time to throw them a curve ball."

MISSION 3:
DRAW-A-PHONE

 

Remy: "For Round 4: CLOTHING/ACCESSORIES, Evarrine had the choice between the following..."

"Robe

Watch

Neck Tie

Crown

...

She chose ROBE."

"Here's Kaitlin's drawing!"

"Fabio guessed KARATE GI, in which Throvan drew..."

"Tamela guessed ROBE, in which Taiha drew..."

 

"Artie guessed PEIGNOIR, in which The Governor drew..."

"Linda guessed DUCK COSTUME, in which Aiden drew..."

Remy: "The last person to guess was Indigo, and her guess was..... PATRICK STAR."

Taiha: "You have CATS to be kitten me right meow!"

Tamela: "Patrick Star?? That's not even a clothing item!"

Indigo: "Well, I'M SORRY for not wanting to say 'KKK Outfit'..."

Throvan: "I gather we have earned no money to our collective pot?"

Evarrine: "You gather correctly. But why am I not surprised? You peasants are not even capable of basic infantile doodling!"

Artie: "Zis iz ridicule!! Iz EVERYONE ze Mole zis saison?!?"

The Gov: "Hold on everyone, I have an idea... If you're the Mole, blink!!"

Linda: "Ha-ha, real funny, Governor...."

Kaitlin: "Not really. His jokes are horrendous."

The Gov: "Ouch. Suppose it's a good thing I chose the office over stand-up, huh? Harhar!" *coughs*

The Gov: "Bahaha! You should have seen the look on everyone's face when they revealed what I had drawn!  
* Rolls about laughing *
A Penguin for fuck sake!  
* Wipes a tear from his eye *
Ha! That's one for the history books there, sometimes being an idiot comes in handy, I may have flunked art in High School but today my masterpiece really brought home the money! More for the pot, more for The Governor's Swiss Bank account!"




(You must be wondering what the Mole each season writes in their journal, and to  be frank, so  were we! 
So here's a quick peek at the Governor's journal at this  point, right after Artie's execution)

MISSION 4:
THE AMAZING RACE

*The Gov huffs and puffs dramatically*

The Gov: "We're here! We're here!!"

Evarrine: "I SAID SLOW DOWN!!"

 Taz: "The Queen and The Governor... You are the THIRD team to arrive."

Taz: "It took you 7 out of 12 hours to reach the end, so you've added $30! 

Unfortunately, you did get a speeding ticket, breaking the bank with $20 deducted.

The Gov: "I'm pretty pleased with how that last one went down, So far not once has somebody questioned me about my actions so I can only assume I'm getting away with it!
*laughs & coughs*
First of all, I decided to pair people up with whoever they were most comfortable just to throw them off, In a way, it just implicates all of them as being the Mole because who wouldn't want to be paired with their best friend? *Coughs* ...Tamela & Kaitlin come to mind. *Has a coughing fit*
Dear god! My smokers cough is getting worse, I'll tell you what though, My poor health certainly came in handy this last mission, Ha! All the way across Hollywood I coughed and spluttered, I'm surprised her majesty didn't notice I was faking it.
I figured that if I could slow us down all the way that we would get as little as possible for the pot, That includes insisting that we walk half the way instead of hitchhiking and choosing the "Rash" detour because I knew it would take us longer and that there was no way that lunatic was going to deface her precious image.
Of course, When the others were around I suddenly gained a burst of energy which just made Ms Roland look bad in front of the other players but when we were alone you would think I was dying by the way I was acting! Haha!"

MISSION 5:
CAPTURED!

 
 
 

 *One hour later...*

Evarrine: "How do you know this is it?"
Kaitlin: "It just is. Trust me."
Fabio: "Yeah, because 'trust' isn't a rare commodity in a game like The Mole whatsoever...."

Indigo: "Is that...."
Taiha: "The Burj Khalifa? Why yes. Yes it is."
Indigo: "By golly. That's the tallest building in the WORLD!"
Taiha: "Mhm. And behind it is the tower that you can see in Tamela's photo. If my calculations are correct, Tamela is being held captive in The Princess Tower!!"

Linda: "We're officially lost."
Aiden: "YUP. Moar lost than ah lil' piggy widout his nose."

The Gov: "Ahhhhh... Golfing in Dubai... I'm doing the Lord's work!"

The Gov: “Honestly, didn’t have to do much for this one, and besides, that Ms. Harlow woman picked up my slack for me… in fact, she picked up EVERYONE’S slack this mission! Kaitlin was so successful as the pilot of the Sky People that everyone else just sort of went on autopilot and took a snooze! Sort of implicates everyone, don’t you think? Everyone but Ms. Harlow, of course… What a moron. Does she not remember what show she’s on?? Or perhaps people will suspect her BECAUSE of how eager she was to find Tamela? Maybe her urge to rescue Ms. Wakefield wasn’t even mission-motivated? Who knows with those lesbo’s, though.

And while everyone else was scrambling around looking for some skyscraper in Dubai, I said, ‘Fuck it!’ and rented me a golf club so I could actually enjoy my vacation! Do I LOOK like the type of man who has time to run around in this kind of heat?! Heck, I’ll get heat stroke and go into cardiac arrest! Ain’t no Governor got time for that!”

MISSION 6:
PIRATE'S LIFE FOR ME!

 

 The Gov: "I think I got something.... Feels like a lantern!"

*Kaitlin passes down the vial of oil to Taiha who passes it onto Aiden and then the Governor*


Taiha: "Hey, can I have the apple core?! I have an idea!"
The Gov: "Pass over the tinderbox, then we'll talk business."
Taiha: "You first."
The Gov: "Ha! Millennials, you have no idea how to negotiate a trade deal do you? Are you familiar with the phrase 'Don't pay the ferryman til you get to the other side?' Hm?"
Taiha: "Have you heard the phrase, 'don't mess with the cat because you'll get the claws'?!"
The Gov: "Don't rattle the Byrd's cage Miss Anderson, it shan't be pretty...."

Taiha: "You forget, dear Govvy... Kittens tend to eat Byrds... Yummmm... BIRD FEATHERS....
Speaking of which: here's a feather right here on this bar! Tickle fight, anyone?!"


Kaitlin: "Will you two please stop your nonsense and give the firestarter to the Gov so that he can light the lantern!?"


*The Gov tosses the apple to Taiha*
Gov: "Here, have your stinking apple core, you're not worth the high blood pressure..."
 Taiha: "Daww, thankies Govvy! Woah there! Had to dodge that one. RUDE."
The Gov: "You wanna learn how to dodge Ms Anderson? Try being married to my 3rd wife, she had a nasty habit of throwing furniture at me."
*Taiha throws the fire starter at the Governor* 
The Gov: "OWH! MY EYE!"

Evarrine: "It is indeed an alcoholic substance, by the smell of it."
 *Evarrine fills it and passes it to the Governor*

The Gov: " ♪Take one down, pass it around, 99 cups of rum in the barrel!♪
...Wait, is that...? It's a Byrd... it's a PLANE! No, it's..... AIDEN WATCH OUT!!"


Aiden: "Wuh?!"

*The Governor sneakily takes several sips of rum*

The Gov: "Oh sorry, here you go lad. Thought I saw your skeleton bride come to life! Must be imagining things in me old age!"
Aiden: "You funneh! Scurred meh fer a sec, though!"

The Gov: "That pirate mission was a hoot! I've never had so much fun being locked in a cell, reminded me of the time I fell foul of the IRS... *coughs* Anyway, moving on...
So many opportunities to sabotage, so little time... *coughs loudly* I really turned up the Ol' Governor charm to 11 during the prison break just to annoy my cellmates so they would make more mistakes, they wasted so much time arguing with me that they didn't even notice when I drank half of the rum!
I knew I could rely on these kids to completely ignore my suggestions, the irony is I actually gave them the solution, twice! and not one of them listened to me, As a famous pirate once said: "You can always trust a dishonest man to be dishonest, honestly, it's the honest ones you need to watch out for!"

 Kaitlin: "Okay... What's our first move then?"
Taiha: "We start off with two people. One person taking it at the very start would be pointless."

Kaitlin: "So at least one pirate has to cross over first, right? Otherwise they'll outnumber us from the start and then--"

The Gov: "SO LONG, SUCKERS! I'll drop you a line from Bermuda!"

* * *

Kaitlin: "I'm thinking either one of you or both--AH!"

Pirate: "You've been outnumbered. Hand the coins over! All of 'em! NOW!!"

The Gov: "Well, what can I say about our little lake crossing adventure except thank you guys for making it so easy! *coughs and laughs*
I knew that in order to lose the most money I had to be on the Lake team so I set a plan in motion, I convinced them that the Forest team would have a harder task knowing of course what challenges lay ahead of us and that me being considerably un-fit and overweight would work against them, so what did they do? Ha! They let me do what I wanted and let me go to the Lake, big mistake...
When we got to the Lake all I had to do was make sure that I made it across the river first, from then on no-matter what they would have done the outcome was the same, the pirates would always outnumber us at some point.
The cherry on top of this steaming pile of sabotage of course was that my co-conspirators look even more guilty than me! Thanks, Obama! Haha!"

MISSION 7:
SPYFALL

The Gov: "If there's one thing I've learned over the course of this game is that I'm good at being generally unhelpful under the guise of trying to be a team player, It's one of the many skills I have in my repertoire that I can conjure up to really throw a wrench in to the team's plans.
I call it my "Look busy while doing nothing" plan and so far it has worked wonders for this game... some members of the press might even say it has worked wonders for my career! haha!
After a controversy erupts and the media gets a hold of it, there is a right and wrong way to spin it to your advantage, I've learnt this over my many years in office, often to varying degrees of success, the same can be said of The Mole, If you get caught sabotaging there are both good ways and bad ways you can use the situation to your advantage.
Now, I can afford to be blatant with my sabotaging early in the game when I've got them all pointing fingers at one another because my small amounts of sabotage go unnoticed among the larger displays of trickery and misdirection from the group.
However, now we are quickly approaching the end game my blatant acts of sabotage are, shall we say, raising suspicion. This is where I have to approach the game from a different angle and try to be more discreet, being discreet is not a politician's strong point I know, Just look at how our current President is handling his own dirty laundry... *Coughs while laughing at his own joke* but I can't afford to have them all breathing down my neck on the Quiz."

Linda: "To whomever: Do you enjoy it here?"

 The Gov: "Oh yes, This is my sort of place!"

The Gov: "Any chance I could drink here?"

Fabio: "I think they do serve drinks here, but I've never tried it."

Taiha: "I'M THE SPY!! And you kids are playing golf!!!"

W: "THE SPY HAS FOUND THE AGENTS AT THE GOLF COURSE."

The Gov: "As for our current mission? Well, I purposely tried to be as descriptive as I could with my answers so as to give away our location and twice it helped out the spy... *coughs* Who says I'm not generous? Ha! I'm all for helping out the next generation of voters... You gotta respect them, the kids these days can lie better than some of the best politicians I know!"

Fabio: "Governor, are you likely to give this place a good review?"

The Gov: "Depends on how well the staff treat me, of course!
To anyone, how long would you stay here?"


Taiha: "Hmmm... Anyone else thinking it must be Evarrine? She's the only one avoiding answering."
Kaitlin: "I see it. I accuse the Queen!"

Evarrine: "Don't make me laugh. I am an Agent like the rest of you helots!
But now we have already used two accusations, so I must make the final one now!
I ACCUSE THE AFRICAN ORPHAN."

Kaitlin: "Nope... And there goes more money."

Taiha: "Then it was Fabio! You little rascal, you!"
Fabio: "Incorrecto. Not me."

Tamela: "Then who the heck was it?!"

Linda: "I'm SO lost."

The Gov: "It was I!"

The Gov: "I am the sneaky sneaky double agent!"

W: "THE AGENTS FAILED TO IDENTIFY THE SPY IN TIME AT THE HOTEL."

  The Gov: "My plan worked so well I even managed to fool them all when I was the spy using the same tactic, they practically gave that one away to me, I didn't even have to guess where they were, I just laid low and half-heartedly took cheap shots at trying to guess who it was.
During the last round, I just jumped on the bandwagon and voted whichever way the group decided, democracy at work ladies and gentlemen!?"

MISSION 8:
MURDER IN CLUE MANOR

 

Midnight: "So back to the mission at hand. Who had the most motivation to kill Sir Gray? And who would have done it out of hatred?"

Sunset: "Perhaps someone got tired of him insulting their music, eh...?"

The Gov:  "I must say it was a great relief to me that for the first time whilst playing that stupid Mission I didn't have to be the murderer, do you have any idea how damaging that game was to my political career last time I played? Nobody wants to elect a convicted murderer, not even a pretend one!
I thought I'd throw them a bone this time around considering how poorly they have been performing and decided that I'd try and solve this mystery myself without the use of my Mole Clue.
Needless to say, my many years in office have equipped me with what I like to call a Bullshit detector, I saw through Miss Amethyst's lies instantly and decided to toy with them from there on, hinting at who I thought the killer was throughout whilst watching them pursue the wrong suspect countless times."

Sunset: "It's time to end this! I'm gonna have a stab at it.... Pun unintended....

I guess that it's Lady Amethyst in the Study with the Pencil and she left behind her Hair Ribbon!"

*Lady Amethyst smirks creepily*

Sunset: "YES! I'm right, aren't I?? You murdered Sir Gray! And all the rest!!"

The Gov: "It was quite refreshing, I rather enjoyed being able to out the murderer even if it was winning them money for the Pot, just to see the crushing look of defeat on my number one supporter's face... *Howls with laughter*
A shame it was short-lived, By some bloody luck she managed to gain an exemption, what are the odds?
I call foul, blatant production favouritism I say! It's like she's the Russel Hantz of the Mole, the moment she's in trouble just hand her a conveniently placed immunity idol. Bah!"
 * Coughs angrily*

MISSION 9:
TRAPPED FOREVER AFTER!

 

Layla: "It appears we have a conflict of interest... The Governor and Tamela both wanted Mystery, but there isn't enough for 2. Thus, this game has FAILED!"

The Gov: "I love it when a plan comes together! *snorts* I can't help but chuckle to myself when I see a huge wad of cash fall into the Mole Pot, haha!"


 

MEDUSA: "Cyclops. You can't go that far."

The Gov: "Huh? Oh, right. Harha, sorry, don't blame me, just doing as I'm told!"

 The Gov: "What can be said for this mission except it played out exactly as I'd hoped, I may have been a little careless with my blatant misdirection during the Medusa game on the second floor, some may even have picked up on a slight Freudian slip I made at the end of mission but at this point my main focus is filling up my retirement fund so it's all good.
It's times like this that I would usually break out a good old fashioned victory cigar but for once I think I shall resist the temptation...
Oh if there's one thing that The Mole has done for me besides tarnishing my reputation it's that it really helped me tackle a habit of a lifetime, when I was first asked to take part in Season 6 I was smoking 10 maybe 20 cigarettes a day, christ! So many I lost count but now I've really cut back, all thanks to my stay on the Mole.
I watched a few Mole episodes on my flight back to the US at the start of this season and it really opened my eyes to how unfit I really was during Spy vs Spy. Now, I may not look the most body-conscious person on the planet so laugh if you must but my poor health does worry me sometimes *Coughs loudly* I mean, you only have to look at me to see that I'm not exactly a picture of health!
In some Eastern countries, I may be considered to have the body of a god but in Western society, you could say I'm more than a little overweight... *Bursts out laughing at his own joke*
Yes, I think if there is one thing I would change about myself it would be to get fit and you know, I may just do that once this season is over."






MISSION 10:
THE MOLE'S SECRET HIDEOUT

 

The Gov: "So it comes down to this, myself and three very worthy adversaries... *coughs*
The Man-hater, the Nobody and the Weirdo who smells like a Litter Tray, Haha!" *snorts*
Seriously though, joking aside they are good kids and a very intelligent bunch, just not the sort of people I'm used to dealing with on a daily basis and I think that's why there is so much conflict between myself and the others. We are from different generations, we have different morals and as much as I try to contain myself sometimes I just have to express my opinions, much to the disdain of everyone around me I'm sure but I am true to myself and my own beliefs and I hope that the people at home can respect that.
This season has had its ups and downs but I have to say, I've enjoyed myself a heck of a lot more this time around just because I can be myself and I don't have to try so hard for people to like me. I'm past caring anymore, people can say what they like about me but at the end of the day, I like me just the way I am and there ain't no changing that...
Anyway, moving on, the challenge? Well, I tried, I threw every little trick in the book at them and I cheated my fat hairy ass off, hehe, hope you Mole fans got a good laugh out of that. I played up to the fact that they thought I was a bumbling idiot and I think it worked, especially during the first part...."



 *The Gov whistles nonchalantly*

Kaitlin: "Wait, what's happening? Looks like we all finished our parts."

The Gov: "Yeah... I did mine fair and square!" *coughs profusely*

Fabio: "Wait-a-minute... Did you cheat??"

The Gov: "Uhm. What makes you think that?"

Kaitlin: "You're the Guv and a sleazy old man, what other evidence does he need?"

The Gov: "AGAIN with the 'old' remarks?? I'm not even 50 yet!!
And yes.... I did cheat. But how did they know??"

Taiha: "Are you new here or something?? Production is ALWAYS watching!"

* * *

 The Gov: "Teeehehehee.... me 'tinks I hads toooooo muchhh to drink! Harharha.... ooh! Is that a live band.... I LoooOooooOve this song! 'Tis mah guilty pleasure!! Heeeheee!
....LET'S GO GIRLS."

 * * *

*Kaitlin and the Governor both reach for the Dossier*

*A motion sensor is tripped*

*Sudden shaking causes the portraits on the walls to fall*

Taiha: "What did you do, Governor??"
The Gov: "Don't look at me! Kaitlin grabbed the dossier too!"
Taiha: "LOOK what you've done! The walls are closing in on us!!"
*There's a thunderous grinding noise in the background*

The Gov: "To be fair, I think they have all come to realize that I'm not very helpful during these challenges, even to the point that they mostly ignore my suggestions now. Maybe they know I'm the Mole? Maybe they just think I'm being generally unhelpful? Maybe none of them has noticed? The biggest question, who cares?! It's all speculation at this point. *coughs loudly*
That's been my gameplan for most of the season you know, not caring, in fact, the whole idea of me coming back because I have some "unfinished business" is just laughable, that should have been a major clue on day 1, I couldn't have cared less about what happened before and I certainly had no intention of playing fairly this time, I just enjoy the mind games, that's why I jumped at the chance to play again... well, that and the fact that I needed the cash for my Island but mainly the game, you could even say I've become a bit of a fan myself?"

The Gov: "Oh, I'm gonna miss all this when it ends, I've had a great time, a great vacation and it's just been a laugh from start to end... NO, I'm not getting soppy and sentimental, I just... have something in my eye..." *sniffs*

 The Gov: "....Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got some final sabotaging to do."


**********************************


*The crowd is going wild, chanting the Governor's name*

GREY: "Hey now, we're not done talking about the Gov just yet!! We still have the greatest Mole hints to get to!"

GREY: "So, right now, I present to you....
THE 5 BEST MOLE HINTS OF THE SEASON!"

 #1: IN THE PREMIERE, WHILE GREY DISCUSSED THIS SEASON OF ALL-STARS, HE FOUND A PARTICULARLY INTERESTING PATTERN OF STARS IN THE SKY...

LOOK CLOSELY... AND YOU MAY JUST SPOT A CONSTELLATION.

The players in the game (especially the final 3) should know that Taurus is the Governor's astrological sign.

11. What is the Mole's astrological sign?
a) Pisces
b) Leo
c) Sagittarius
d) Taurus

#2: Also in the first episode, the Governor slipped in a clue of his own....

GREY: "GOVERNOR DAVE BYRD!"

The Gov: "So, yeah while I was visiting this one tiny little Island called "El Topo" there just happened to be an opening for the position of Island Governor and guess what? I won the people's vote by a landslide majority! Seems like the people that live on this Island are big fans of The Mole, it's all they ever watch! So much apparently that having me as their Governor greatly appealed to them... to be honest I think it's the only show that the Island TV broadcasts but that's beside the point... *coughs* So yes, I am no longer an American citizen, I'm officially a resident of "El Topo" which also means that all my previous convictions are void due to a technicality! Hahaha! I love international laws!"

What you may have missed? "El Topo" means "The Mole" in Spanish!

 #3: This clue was a bit more subtle... or was it? Actually, to some, it may have been fairly obvious....
 

LYLA: "Welcome to your final mission, everyone. This is the secret entrance to the Mole's Secret Hideout!"

(Lyla places her finger inside the serpent's mouth; the fangs draw a drop of blood)

*the serpent makes a hissing noise*

"Greetingssssss Mole #1"

*The ground begins to tremble*

*the rumbling grows louder and begins to shake the house*

*suddenly, it comes to a complete stop*

 Bit of a coincidence that the Mole's Secret Hideout is in the Slytherin room, yes? 
Well, yes, but actually... no. 
The Governor at the start of the season was assigned to the Slytherin room, and that's where he decided to dig his burrow:

Additionaly, the final room, which was known to have to do with the current season's Mole, was an office... An OVAL office, to be precise. Shaped and themed around the US Presidential Office. Just yet another clue dealing with the Gov's ties to the government!




#4: Darleen, AKA Medusa, implies that the Governor has bad eyesight, in "more ways than one"

MEDUSA: "Cyclops. You can't go that far."

The Gov: "Huh? Oh, right. Harha, sorry, don't blame me, just doing as I'm told!"

MEDUSA: "No sweat. I know your eyesight is a little lacking.... in more ways than one." ;-)

Taiha: "Why, because he's one-eyed Dave??"

Fabio: "No, because he's four-eyed like me!"

 The other players joke around and try to decrypt what she meant by that; the obvious one is that he is playing a Cyclops, which are known for having only one eye:

Taiha references his alter-ego; Dave the Political One-Eyed Pirate:

Fabio figures it's because he wears glasses like himself:

But truth be told? Darleen is giving a clue, that the Governor has bad eyesight because he is a MOLE:

#5: This last clue occurred tonight, believe it or not... and the Mole was hiding right in plain sight! Let's rewind things a bit, shall we?

GREY: "A LIVE EXECUTION!!!"

*the audience gasps in horror*
GREY: "No, not a real execution, you sillies! The only person I've personally killed is Nocturne... but I s'pose she survived. So the only person we've actually killed is Louis from season 4.... KIDDING! It was a JOKE!! Oh boy... Where's Waldo? I'm going to need a lawyer after that statement..."

Now, "Where's Waldo" is emphasized for apparently no reason... but there IS a reason, and that reason is simple: Find Waldo. Waldo is known as the odd one out that's blending sneakily in the crowd.... sounds like our resident Mole, no? 
Look a bit closer again, and you should have no trouble finding our Waldo (aka Mole) hiding within the audience.

Plus, to drive the point home: 

Even their shirts match!

****************************************************************************


[For the complete list of all clues, please click the link below]
https://forums.thesims.com/en_US/discussion/comment/17403550/#Comment_17403550


****************************************************************************

GREY: "And now for our last official segment.... THE FAN FAVORITE POLL!"

GREY: "For the past week, Mole Fans worldwide have been ranking their favorite player to their least favorite player, and the results are in!"

GREY: "The fan favorite of Season 7 is--"

Yan The Cameraman: *Pulls camera to himself* "IT'S ME!!!"

*everybody gasps*

GREY: "Yan, we talked about this. I know you are frustrated, but stop being such an attention whore!"

Yan The Cameraman: "No, Grey. This is my moment!"

Yan: "Of course I'm not the fan fav, I mean that is literally impossible without being in the cast, duh. BUT, I am the winner of something. All these days, I was the winner of fooling you guys around. As I'm NOT Yan the Cameraman."

?: "You may have wondered why one person from Season 6 was missing in the cameos, especially in the Clue mission......."

The Gov: "No, we didn't miss Ben Schiffer."

?: "Oh yeah??  And what if I told you..."

*pulls off his beanie*

Ben: "If I was Ben Schiffer??!" *grins*

Aiden: "Gee wiz!"

Shayne: "What."

Indigo: "I totally didn't see that coming."

Tamela: "Nice to see you  again Mister Schiffer."

Artie: "Ah, Ben mon Ami! Wie geht es dir?"

Izzy: "Benny!!! You sneaky one!" *laughs*

Maya: "Hey Buddy, to one disguiser to another, I had NO idea!"

Ben: "Thanks Maya, same goes to you."

GREY: "Woah woah woah, pause everybody. Ben, what the fuck. You've been our main camera man the whole season?"

Ben: "Yup! E-Kat helped me get the position.... Although the only qualification was to come up with a name that rhymed with 'Stan' or 'Dan' or just 'man', really.... Although I guess I could have just went with Ben, part of the camera men..."

GREY: "Wait, Katharina knew about this? Why can't that girl just shut her mouth? But how?"

Ben: "Well, lemme explain. E-Kat and V had a conversation a while ago. E-Kat was frustrated because Karen, one of the executive producers, originally promised her to be the host, but then you came back from jail and she chose you instead."

Ben: "Then E-Kat had the idea that since V mentioned how sad she was about my early elimination, I would go undercover and pretend to be a young cameraman. I loved the plan since I always had a thing for acting. So V told me the most important things about undercover missions she could, and then we created the alias Yan together! I'm honestly gonna miss being him, playing annoyed was way funnier than I expected."

GREY: "Okay, you had your fun, now get out."

Ben: "Not so fast. The producers were all in on the plan, even Karen, so I am more than welcome here. And before you even CONSIDER the thought of doing something similar to me with what you did to Nocturne in Season 2, you should know that I was trained by Sin Fu Master Jelly Petrova as well as Antoine from season 3! You'll get your ass extra kicked too for claiming that I was the Fabio of my season!!"

GREY: "Ha! You think I'm gonna shoot you?? I just got out of jail, I'm not dumb enough to go back in.... Unless someone this season decides to pull yet another disguise off, because I SWEAR, if Aiden is secretly Alberto or Nocturne in disguise, I might as well just shoot myself with that gun!"

Ben: "Hmmm.... Maybe you should go back to jail anyway for what you did to Taiha's cats!"

GREY: "Taiha's cats? Most of them weren't hers. Hell, half of them were strays, and some I'm sure she stole from loving homes!"

Ben: "Doesn't matter where they came from! What matters is you brought them to a KILL shelter! Maybe you'd like to take their place, eh?"

Taiha: "Preach it, Benjamin! Maybe Grey should try getting executed for once!!"

GREY: "Oh, stop your bitching already. I didn't bring them to a kill shelter."

Ben: "Elaborate."

GREY: "I love animals! People? Not so much. Granted, I do like dogs more than cats, which is why I always liked Max more than Taiha.... but no. Kenzen or Karen might have put them down, but I was able to find them loving homes quite instantly after that episode aired. Many Taiha and Mole fans across the world wanted them, in fact I actually pocketed quite a bit of money auctioning them off!
So yes. They are all safe and sound in loving homes. I made sure of it."

Taiha: "Wait, so.... all this time..... you...."

GREY: "Yes Taiha. I lied to you. At first it was nice getting you off my back, but then I realized I may.... OR MAY NOT.... have missed the attention.... just a TAD...?"

Taiha: "D'awwwww! GREYSON! That's that sweetest thing you've ever said to me!!"

GREY: "It was? Guess it wasn't difficult competition..."

Taiha: "Wait.... DID YOU ADOPT ONE FOR YOURSELF??"

GREY: "....how did you know that."

Taiha: "Because I could smell pussy-cat on you! Plus, you have white fur all over your suit!! OMG Grey, I can't believe you're a father of a cat now!! Thanks to ME!"

GREY: "Uhhhh can't say I've ever smelled like pussy before but-"

Taiha: "-I'M SO SO SORRY GREY, I can't believe I ever doubted how wonderful and beautiful of a man you are!! You TRULY are the one for me!! I can't wait for us to start our family and have little mole babies....EEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!"

GREY: "Oh god. What have I done."

GREY: "First off, ew. Second off... gross. But also thirdly... I don't want ickie kids, ESPECIALLY with you. Mole babies though? I guess that's cute, having little mini moles running around... except they'll look like you and they'll be calling me 'daddy'.... so NEVER MIND TAIHA."

Taiha: "OMG that's my show!"

GREY: "What is."

Taiha: "Mini Mole! That was my show! Were you like a huge fan of it?? Did you watch it every day in prison?! Just like how I watch you every night???"

GREY: "That's not creepy at all.... Wait-a-minute. YOU MADE A KNOCK-OFF OF MY SHOW!?"

Taiha: "Well, it's not YOUR show you know.... And sooooo you never watched it?" :(

GREY: "Nope. I guess that's one favor prison did for me! I hope you had terrible ratings."

Taiha: "It was actually a huge hit!" ^_^

GREY: "Of fucking course it was."

Taiha: "Maybe I should bring it back.....?"

GREY: "No. You shouldn't. Now shut up Taiha. Not everything is always about you!"

Ben: "Yay! Taiha and Grey's love story continues!

ANYWAYS. Grey.... get back to your job, you have a fan favorite to announce."

 GREY: "Oh yes! I do!"

GREY: "And maybe after this, we can all FINALLY get home and go to bed! It's been a looooong night and an even longer season!"

 GREY: "Right. So as I was saying, after I was so RUDELY interrupted... In 5th place, we have...."

 GREY: "Taiha! In 4th place, we have......"

GREY: "Aiden! In 3rd place, we have......"

 GREY: "Maya! ....and also partly Evarrine, haha. And in 2nd place, we have......"

 GREY: "Governor Byrd! Damn Dave, you almost won fan favorite again."

The Governor: "What can I say, my voters are very loyal supporters!!"

 GREY: "Which means, the ultimate fan favorite of this All-Stars season, and taking home $50,000

 is.................."

 GREY: "FABIO!!! ....wait. What??"

Fabio: "Que?"

GREY: "This must be a typo!!"

GREY: "Or at least some cruel joke, no way in hell did FABIO win this fan fav vote!"

 Linda: "I agree! This must be a glitch or bug, because no way does an NPC get any votes at all."
Fabio: "...."

Throvan: "Ai. I believe it. This is a good human being."

Taiha: "Agreed!"

Tamela: "I concur!"

Maya: "Yes, he deserves it for how much of a meme he's become! He's our amigo!"

GREY: "Shut your traps, I didn't ask for comments from the peanut gallery!"

 Fabio: "Well, hate to break it to you Grey, but it doesn't seem like a joke. I guess I made more of an impact on the show than you ever imagined! I humbly accept my cash prize, too.... This will help in locating my abuelo and keeping my cafe in business, tambien."

 GREY: "So this is what this show has come to, eh?"

GREY: "It's been reduced to people like Fabio being the favorite!?! What the actual FUCK!!"

Taiha: "Oh Grey Bear, don't be so dramatic!!!"

 GREY: "It's a good thing this show is FINALLY retiring, because I QUIT!!!"

Taiha: "Huh."

Taiha: "HOLD UP, YOU'RE THE KING OF THE MOLE, YOU CAN'T QUIT BABY!!!!"

 GREY: "WATCH ME!!!"

 Taiha: "Greyson, WAIT! Hey! Slow down..... GREY!!!! OH GREY, PLEASE MARRY ME!! I WANTED TO LIVE WITH 100 CATS AND NOT GET MARRIED BUT I'LL GIVE THAT UP FOR YOU!!!!"

 Taiha: "GREY! I LOVE YOUUUUUUU!!!"

Aiden: "Wat da heck! Whys they takin' away mah chair! HAY! I'M SITTIN' HERE!"

 Artie: "Heuheuheu, I zee someone forgot to tell him!"
Indigo: "Shayne! That was your job!"
Shayne: "Whoops.... must have slipped my mind."

 Fabio: "Should we wait for Taiha to come back before we start?"
Izzy: "I'm sure she can jump in when the others do.... We gotta do it now before they put us off the air!"

Maya: "They better not! We all forgot to keep tradition alive by doing the seasonal song & dance, so this is our last opportunity."
Izzy: "Exactly! ALRIGHT GUYS! Everyone ready??"

Izzy: "Sweet! Hit the music, Yan..... or I guess, Ben!"

Ben: "You got it! .....One Direction though? Who the HELL decided on that??"
Fabio: "Don't look at me! Jajajaja...."

 [PRESS PLAY AND CONTINUE ON]

You gotta help me

I'm losing my mind

Keep getting the feeling 

you wanna leave this all behind

Thought we were going strong

I thought we were holding on

Aren't we?

No they don't teach you,

 this in school....

Now my heart's breaking,

and I don't know what to do...

Thought we were going strong

Thought we were holding on

Aren't we?

You and me 

got a whole lot of history

 (oh-oh)

We could be the greatest team

that the world has ever seen

You and me got a whole lot of history

(oh-oh)

So don't let it go

we can make some more

We can live forever

All of the rumors

 All of the fights

But we always find a way to make it out alive

Thought we were going strong

Thought we were holding on

Aren't we....

You and me

got a whole lot of history

(oh-oh)

We could be the greatest team,

that the world has ever seen

You and me 

got a whole lot of history

 (oh-oh)

So don't let it go, 

we can make some more,

 we can live forever!

Mini bars

 

 expensive cars

hotel rooms

 

and new tattoos

and the good champagne

 and private planes

 but they don't mean anything

'Cause the truth is out

I realize that without you here,

 life is just a lie

This is not the end

This is not the end

We can make it

you know it

 you know....

 You and me 

got a whole lot of history

 (oh)

We could be the greatest team 

that the world has ever seen

You and me 

got a whole lot of history

 (oh)

So don't let it go

we can make some more

 we can live forever!

You and me

got a whole lot of history

 (oh)

We could be the greatest team 

that the world has ever seen

You and me 

got a whole lot of history

 (oh)

So don't let it go

we can make some more

 we can live forever

So don't let me go

So don't let me go

We can live forever

Baby don't you know

Baby don't you know

WE CAN

LIVE

 FOREVER!!!

~AUTHOR'S NOTE~

I started this show the summer before my freshman year of high school. That was back in 2011. I was 14 years old then! Now it's 2020 and in a month's time, I will be 23. So that's nearly 9 years. 9 years! 9 years of my life, I worked on this thing.
 It's just so surreal to finally be done with it. I haven't fully processed it yet, because I have spent many, MANY hours on this throughout the years-- more than I care to admit!
Now, sometimes I wonder what I could have accomplished if I had worked on something else instead of wasting it writing this rather silly reality game show competition.... but then (as cheesy as this sounds), at the same time, I know it wasn't a waste at all. Not only did it give me a creative outlet and help me with my writing skills, it also allowed me the opportunity to make dozens of online friends. I'm not even exaggerating when I say some of the friendships I made through the sims reality show community knew more about me than my friends in real life!
I remember the days where everyone would just be talking about the most random and dumbest shit, haha. Those were the good old days.... This most recent season I felt myself growing slightly more distant, but that was largely due to growing up and being busy with more "adult" responsibilities, such as working and (as of 3 months ago!) graduating from college. It's crazy to think I started this months before high school and finished just months after college.
So in a way, it's a bit of my childhood. It was the entirety of my teenage years. What does this mean for my 20's though? I'm not sure yet, but now as I go off into my next decade of life, I can feel accomplished knowing that I managed to host and write this game/show for a full 7 seasons. A great thing about writing is that you can always go back and enjoy it again, so that's good!
All-in-all, hosting this show has been such a great experience. I've always loved these types of reality show competitions, whether it be Survivor, Big Brother, or yes, The Mole. I technically wasn't the first person to bring the show's concept to the sims community, nor probably the last! But mine definitely stuck around for awhile, thanks to a very committed and loyal group of friends and fans! So I just wanted to say thank you to everyone reading this right now, for sticking with this show, even despite how long it takes me to release new updates and episodes!
Truly though, I wouldn't have kept this going this long if it weren't for your enthusiasm for the game. Having this community has been tremendous, especially in my loneliest times growing up as a teenager! Some of you are newer friends, some old (like Haylo, who's played every season from the start!! His sims were Remy, Taiha, KT!, Sidney, Whitney/Morgan, and Wil)
I definitely plan to stick around the community for awhile, but I likely won't be as active as I once was.  Things change and people leave. Such is the  way of life, as sad as it is. :(  It still saddens me not being  in contact with some of the older people who were once contestants too. Each and every contestant throughout the seasons shaped this show to what it is today, which is also interesting to think about! You guys are the ones coming up with these great characters, so these shows really are a group effort.
...Annnd at this point I think it's time to shut up, I'm also starting to get teary-eyed so I think it's time to wrap it up XD

I also wanted to say a HUGE thank you to everyone who helped me with the episodes this season. Vul helped create the mission venue a couple times, and I also had help from Ice, Jake, and Alleen with some of the pictures.... well in Alleen's case, MOST of the pictures! Without you guys, this season would have been even further delayed than it already was, so thank you again.

And that about sums it up from me! I hope you enjoyed this season, it was hands down my favorite season, and my favorite finale. I just can't believe it's all over! I'm not sure what the future holds, I feel like I will likely permanately retire from hosting shows, but, hey, never say never, right?? ;-)

~Turner