THE MOLE 7: EPISODE 7: EIGHT WEINERS

Indigo:

Yeah... Shit went down REAL fast now. Artie was one of my main suspects of being the mole, and now she is gone. Ravenclaw really gets inhaled, now there is only Tamela and me left. Frankly I've caught myself visiting Hufflepuff more and more. Also I've realised that the main reason for me to change houses was Shayne, and you saw how that went...
Yan, the Cameraman: No, I won't let you change the house again. I already am in enough trouble because of you and Nwa who fails at imitating the boring bastard Fabio, and now E-Kat isn't there aswell so I have to do the filming AND the Editing. Unthankful bitch! I should have been chosen, not her...
Indigo: ...okaaaaay...Anyway, Karma really bit me in the ass, and quite frankly I have the feeling that the only reason I'm still here is the fact that I won the first two challenges. The next win is crucial, else I will be toast, and I don't mean the yummy buttered toast with a slice of smoked salmon. Ugh, its times like this where I need my Skelebear more than ever...

~DAY 7~

GREY: "Greetings contestants.

You better have stretched this morning, because today, you will race. That's right. Today's mission is none other than THE AMAZING RACE!!!"

GREY: "$200 and safety is at stake, because the first team to finish will each earn an exemption, rendering them safe from the next Execution.

I suggest you take a page from Sidney & Kia's book, as they were the winners of this mission when it was originally played in Season 4."

GREY: "Your GPS is taking you to a local restaurant in downtown Hollywood. There, you will find out who your partner is, which has been decided by our Mole.

Further instructions will be provided by today's co-host. Good luck!"

* * * * *

Indigo: "The restaurant's over here, guys!"

*a car appears out of nowhere and plows down the road*

Linda: "INDIE, WATCH OUT!!"

Indigo: "What the hell?? WATCH IT, MORON-FACE!!"

*the car speeds off*

* * * * *

Tamela: "I'm glad the Mole made us partners for this! Should be fun with you alongside me."

Kaitlin: "Hehe, yeah..."

Tamela: "What?"

Kaitlin: "Nothing...."

Tamela: "What??"

Kaitlin: "Nothing. It's just.... Well, you look different today."

Tamela: "Oh, my hair? I didn't have time to dry it this morning. Is it that bad??"

Kaitlin: "No, not at all. I think you look quite beautiful..." *Kaitlin smiles shyly and looks down*

Tamela: "Oh, well, thanks! I appreciate that."

Indigo: "What should our team name be??"

Taiha: "How about Nearly Roadkill?"

Indigo: "Oh shut up! I almost DIED!!"

Aiden: "Roadkill stew!? Not fair!! DAT WASN'T ON MAH MENU!"

Linda: "I can't believe I'm stuck with this useless NPC for my player 2..."

Fabio: "Sitting right here. Literally right across from you."

Linda: "I'm doomed."

The Gov: "I'm surprised you're not complaining about your lack of a throne here. Or that you're not being hand-fed grapes from the peasants."

Evarrine: "I have no time for that when I am starving. I have been craving maple syrup for a solid week and this is my only chance to relinquish this craving."

The Gov: "If you say so, boss. Don't eat too much or else you'll puke again..."

Evarrine: "Come again?"

The Gov: "I heard you in the bathroom this morning puking in the toilet. Hope your health is well."

Evarrine: "Kindness isn't a good look on you, Governor."

*The Governor grunts*

Aiden: "....Where mah partner? Where did dat Elf go??"

Aiden: "MAH ROMEO! OH ROMEO, WHERE ART THOU!??! I NEED YOU NOW MORE THAN EVAH!!!"

Waitress: "I hope everyone is enjoying their meal! Do you guys want to meet the chef??"

Waitress: "The wonderful chef behind today's meal is none other than the second place finisher of season 4..."

"TAZ MIDDLETON!!"

*everyone hoots and hollers*

Taz: "Oh stop, stahp it guys!!"

Taz: "Hehehe, right. Grey has already briefed you on today's mission. There's not much left for me to add, other than please remember to stay safe, and have fun!"

Taz: "Oh! And I need to know all the team's names."

Taz: "....Well? Have you decided on your team name?? Shout 'em out!"

Tamela & Kaitlin: "Team Do It Again!"

Linda: "The Gamer..."

Fabio: "...and the NPC." >:/

Evarrine & Governor: "Team Phoenix."

Indigo & Taiha: "The Grey-tastic Kittens!!"

Taz: "Annnd looks like we have somehow managed to lose both Throvan and Aiden.... Or should I say Romeo and Juliet, off making love together?? Hehe just two small town boys--or, well, one country boy and one village elf-- coming together in beautiful harmony. Been there, done that! Love is quite the beautiful thing, ain't it? This Romeo and Juliet gag is all the rage for The Mole audience, lemme tell you that much! There is sooo much fan art, lots of fans are shipping Throvaiden. Some, a little too much, I must admit.... The fan fic is getting a LITTLE too graphic......

Erm, well, anyway. We'll send a cameraman out to go find the two love birds. I know Throvan is a little bit of a black sheep around these parts but I was hoping he'd fit in with this season's cast as well as he did on our season... Birds and black sheep, what a coincidence, that's the name of my latest poem! BLACKBIRD AMONG RAVEN.
Besides my poems, I also have this here restaurant. Come eat with us! Located downtown Hollywood. Bring your friends and family, unlimited breadsticks!!"

Cop: "Excuse me everyone! A bank robbery has just occurred and the driver quickly fled the scene via car, and we are looking for witnesses. It happened at this intersection."

Cop: "SPEAKING of intersection... THIS IS THE START OF THE RACE!"

Cop: "With me now are my fellow officers, here to interview each pair on what they saw. The information you provide us will be relayed to our sketch artist, and the better you describe the bank robber, the faster we can catch him, and the faster you'll be able to continue on in the race!"

Taz: "Why does that cop on the right look like a non-ugly version of Aiden...? Weird."

* * * * *

Indigo: "The car was going north!!"

Taiha: "Yeah, and the tires had like.... 7 lugs!"

The Gov: "The headlights were red, I believe. Yes. Wait. Back was red, front was white! Remind me again why the headlights are important and not the license plate...?"

Cop: "And the color of the vehicle?"

Evarrine: "ပြာသော"

Cop: "Pardon? That's not a color... Nor English for that matter."

Evarrine: "IT'S A SPELL YOU INFERIOR BEING!!"

Cop: *chuckles*

Evarrine: "It's my water spell.... The car was blue. Alright?"

Cop: "Okaaay...?"

Evarrine: "WHY I OUGHTA--!!"

Linda: "I'd say the shade of blue wasn't so much a Sonic the Hedgehog blue but moreso a Mega Man hue."

Fabio: "The headlights were red!"

Cop: "Thank for your time."

Fabio: "I have a question. Did you happen to be born in Mississippi?"

Cop: "I'M NOT RELATED TO AIDEN! I ain't no filthy hill-billy!"

Tamela: "Anything else, officer?"

Cop: "Nope, thank you, you ladies seem to recollect the event well. You got the color, tires, and direction. You said the robber was heading up north, correct ma'am?"

Tamela: "That is correct."

Cop: "Thank you for your time."

Kaitlin: "Do we get our next clue??"

Cop: "Yes, here you are. You pair will be taking the first taxi with Evarrine and the Governor for describing the car in almost perfect description. You will be crossing through the intersection first and continue on into the fast lane. Good luck!"

Kaitnlin: "Thank you!!"

* * * * *

Tamela: "We are in the lead!"

Evarrine: "Naturally."

The Gov: "We must stay in it!"

Kaitlin: "Here comes our rides now."

The Gov: "What are you doing, baldee? FLOOR IT!"

Linda: "Damn, their descriptions must've been more accurate than ours."

Fabio: "It appears that way."

Indigo: "I think I may have vertigo... YIKES."

Taiha: "A taxi is coming!! What if Grey decided to pop us a visit and drive us?!?"

Linda: "We must build sand castles?"

Fabio: "Large enough to keep the base dry from oncoming waves, yes."

Taiha: "Eek! This should be funnn!!"

Indigo: "I'm excited af!"

Taiha: "Indie!! I found something!"

Indigo: "What??"

Taiha: "It's a message in a bottle with a riddle!"

Indigo: "Good job Tai-Tai! How did you know it was a bunny??"

Taiha: "Because... After kittens, bunnies are the cutest animals." :3

Indigo: "So who are we going to place a speed bump under?"

Taiha: "I think the season 6 girls are ahead the most, they already finished their castle!"

Indigo: "Alright. It's official. Let's sabotage them! This is OUR race to win!!"

Tamela: "Excuse me?"

Taiha: "Sorry kitten! We had to sabotage your time, but you know I still love you!"

Kaitlin: "You throw the l-word around too freely. But karma is a bitch. So enjoy this YIELD advantage we found hiding in the breadsticks basket of Taz's restaurant!!"

Indigo: "What does that do??"

Tamela: "Forces the two of you to wait behind until we've advanced to the next checkpoint, yielding to us."

Taiha: "Awww pooper scoopers!"

Kaitlin: "That's right. You BETTA not mess with Team Let's Do It Again!!"

Tamela: "Where has this confident Kaitin been hiding?! I like it!"

Kaitlin: "Hehe, do you?"

Tamela: "Yes, now let's go!!"

Kaitlin: "Right, onwards to the Hollywood sign!!"

* * * * *

The Gov (coughing, wheezing, and gasping): "I-I largely re-regret not-t utilizing my gym membership while I.... I had the ch-chance....."

Evarrine: "Shut up, old fat man. You're the one who didn't want to hitchhike up here!!"

Fabio: "What an odd coincidence we all made it up here the same time..."

Linda: "The probability of that happening is so minuscule that we're likely in a simulation."

Kaitlin: "What does it say??"

Tamela:

"DETOUR TASK:

Each team must choose 1 task to complete...

A) Smash

B) Rash

...DECIDE NOW."

Kaitlin: "I got a rash once in boot camp. Don't particularly want to relive that memory..."

Tamela: "And I got one every day in prison with that ATROCIOUSLY distasteful orange garb. So, let's go with Smash?"

Kaitlin: "Yes! Let's SMASH!!"

Fabio: "What are you thinking with this limited information?"

Linda: "I don't know. I could go either way, honestly. Want to randomize?"

Fabio: "...with what?"

Linda: "The randomizer option, DUH."

Fabio: "Which is... where?"

Linda: "Just press control stick right."

Fabio: "Right.... I forgot. You are a nutjob. Let's just smash and dash, shall we?"

Linda: "Uhm, gross. That's not an option available."

The Gov: "Do you hear that? They all want to pick smash! Let's head the opposite direction and do rash."

Evarrine: "You have my approval. Rash it is."

The Gov: "Say, Ms. Roland.... Any chance you can give me a piggy-back ride down this hill?? This can NOT be good for my back."
Evarrine: "NO Governor. I don't need you breaking my back too."
The Gov: "Fine. Then to Hollywood Boulevard we go!!"

* * * * *

Camera Man: "Where are you going Aiden?? Throvan isn't on this boat, he would never board a boat this big!"

Aiden: "Me knows that... Bu' me ALSO knows dis boat!"

Camera Man: "You do?"

Aiden: "Yes! Point dat way so dat the lovely Miss Vesela can have 'er propah dramatic entrance!!"

Sara: "Is that Aiden's voice I hear?!?"

Aiden: "You right! It me!"

Sara: "Good to see ya, old pal!"

Sara: "What are you doing in LA?? Wait... Why do you have a personal camera man? Do you have your own reality television series now?"

Aiden: "No, silleh! I'm on da final season of da Mole!!"

Sara: "Oh shoot, you are! I completely forgot about that!! I'm suuuper behind on this season, I've been busy with All-Stars stuff. How are you?!"

Aiden: "Purdy good... bu' I just rememba dat Imma s'pose to find mah friend Rovan. And there's ah race happenin'! So I gots to go! Bye golly, it been nice seein' ya but I gotta run!"

Sara: "....Oh. Alright then! Bye Aiden, and hello Mole Family! Hope you're all enjoying the final season of the show!!"

* * * * *

Taiha: "Excuse me, ma'am, but are you SURE you know where you're going...?"

Indigo: "This is a disaster. We were the FIRST team to reach the Hollywood sign and now we're stranded in the middle of nowhere. How is that fair??"

Taiha: "You know what, this is cray-cray, I refuse to lose this race! Let us out here!! C'mon, Indie, we're gonna run to the boulevard from here."

Indigo: "Run?? I hate running."

Taiha: "Just pretend you're a circus tiger escaping your cage and tasting freedom for the first time!!"

~HOLLYWOOD BOULEVARD~

Taiha: "We made it!"

Indigo: "Are you sure this is the right address?"

Taiha: "Purry sure, yup!! There's our people!"

Indigo: "What in Hades is happening in here??"

Fabio: "The detour task involves dressing up and walking through the streets of Hollywood, and for those who chose 'Smash', had to dress up as a Smash Brothers video game character. I got stuck with Waluigi. Figures."

Kaitlin: "I'm Princess Daisy."

Tamela: "And I'm Peach."

Linda: "Can you guess mine??"

Indigo: "You're zero-suit Samus!! COOLIO!"

Taiha: "I better be Mewtwo or I QUIT! ....teehee just joshing... sorta."

Indigo: "I hope I'm not something that flies.... Or something too colorful. I don't want everyone staring at me..."

Taiha: "Maybe this will be what FINALLY gets Grey's attention!"

Indigo: "Oh. So she's aware Grey ignores her. That's something."

Taiha: "EEEEK I see a poké ball!"

Taiha: "Pokemon trainer. I'll take it! Maybe I can catch Grey with this ball." ;-)

Indigo: "This is NOT what I had in mind.... PIRANHA PLANT?!"

The Gov: "Y'know... If we formed a coalition... No one would be any the wiser."

Evarrine: "I'm listening."

The Gov: "Oh. That... that's really all I had to say."

Evarrine: "I will mull it over, fat man."

The Gov: "..."

Lady: "Are you here from the race??"

Evarrine: "Correct."

The Gov: "What is our detour task?"

Lady: "You will be given a fake sun tan... That looks more or less like a rash, and then make your way to the next destination. On the way there you must get a pedestrian to offer you sun-tan lotion and have someone rub it onto your back."

Evarrine: "This must be a joke. There is absolutely no way you will get me to go into your death capsule so that I come out looking like a volcano minion!!"

The Gov: "Death capsule? Volcano minion?? What drugs are you on now, woman?

...I'll at least do it. Show me the way, lady."

The Gov: "Well...? How does it look."

Evarrine: "You look like the ilk of the Mountain Men. They possessed great powers in my realm."

The Gov: "Oh yeah, like what?"

Evarrine: "...Eternal infertility."

The Gov: "Jokes on you. I hate kids."

* * * * *

Fabio: "We made it! This should be our last route marker. What does it say?"

Linda: "Says the finish line is on the other side of the highway, and we have the keys to a few cars here. But we have a choice. We can either drive...."

Linda: "The race-cars."

Linda: "They are the faster option, but we must drive 80 MPH."

Linda: "Doing so will more than likely earn us a speeding ticket, costing the group pot $20."

Linda: "And over here we have the other option..."

Linda: "The wagons."

Linda: "They are slower by nature. Their max speed is 40 MPH."

Linda: "Picking the wagon won't get us in trouble with the highway patrol."

Fabio: "We gotta go with the race-car. Not only is it a dream of mine to drive one of those chicos malos, but I think we could win this, Linda. I really do."

Linda: "I won't stop you from living out your dreams. Let's do it. I call shotgun!"

* * * * *

Taz: "THIS IS THE FINISH LINE!"

Taz: "All the teams have entered the final leg of the racing, and are driving down Highway 101 as we speak. The sun has set, and the first team should be arriving any moment."

Taz: "The first team to step onto this mat together will be the proud owners of their new Exemption."

Taz: "Ahhh congratulations, Team Do It Again! You are the FIRST team to arrive!!"

Kaitlin: "Sweet."

Tamela: "Marvelous!"

Taz: "It took you 5 out of 12 hours to reach the end, so you've added $40!

Unfortunately, you did get a speeding ticket, which removes $20."

* * * * *

Evarrine: "Hey! Wait for me you filthy animal!"

Taz: "Linda and Fabio. You are the SECOND team to arrive."

Taz: "It took you 6 out of 12 hours to reach the end, so you've added $35!

Unfortunately, you did get a speeding ticket, which we'll take $20 from the pot to pay for."

Linda: "Second isn't first, but at least we beat Team Phoenix..."

*The Gov huffs and puffs dramatically*

The Gov: "We're here! We're here!!"

Evarrine: "I SAID SLOW DOWN!!"

Taz: "The Queen and The Governor... You are the THIRD team to arrive."

Taz: "It took you 7 out of 12 hours to reach the end, so you've added $30!

Unfortunately, you did get a speeding ticket, breaking the bank with $20 deducted.

Evarrine: "So you are telling me that this ENTIRE day was a waste of my time?? If not first, you are last."

The Gov: "At least we weren't last-last..."

Taiha: "Greeey I'm coming for youuuu!!"

Indigo: "You DO realize that Taz is the mission host, right...? RIGHT?? SLOW DOWN TAIHA YOU'RE GONNA KILL US, THIS THING CAN'T GO OVER 40!!"

*The car squeels as Taiha comes to an abrupt stop in the middle of the road*

Taiha: "GREY HEEERE I COME!! GET READY FOR ME YOU HANDSOME YOUNG MAN!"

Taiha: "What took you so long?? The timer doesn't stop until we're BOTH on the mat!"

Indigo: "I had to park the car! You can't just leave a vehicle in the middle of the road Taiha, have you gone mad?"

Taiha: "I was excited to see Grey at the beach again, okay? I thought he'd be here... The way he was always dressed up for me on all our dates on the beach my season....."

Indigo: "Uhhh you mean the EXECUTIONS?? Those were eliminations, Tay. NOT DATES."

Taz: "Ahhh the Grey-tastic Kittens have finally arrived... To no one's surprise, you have come in LAST place."

Taz: "It took you 11 out of 12 hours to reach the end, so you've added $5!

Hey, that's five grand right there! $5,000 can buy you that wagon you just drove all the way here, hehe."

Taiha: "This mission took forever."

Indigo: "You can say that again. AND we're losers, too..."

Taz: "Nawh, as Mario would say--"

Fabio: "OR WALUIGI!"

Taz: "--'IMMA WIENER!'.... You're all wieners *coughs* winners. All 8 of you! Just like those 8 weiners I grilled for everyone on my season.... ahem. Sorry, it's been awhile since I've had myself a dick appointment, hence the reason I have wieners on my mind...... This is getting really weird. Oh, and speaking of dicks and wieners, check out our deleted scene post-credits! Seems that Aiden pulled his out for reasons unknown to me, but I guess Sara was feeling especially artistic today...

Alright, alright, cut.... I said CUT!!"

****************************************************************************************

~MISSION RESULTS~

1st) TEAM DO IT AGAIN! (+ $20)

2nd) TEAM GAMER AND THE NPC (+ $15)

3rd) TEAM PHOENIX (+ $10)

4th) TEAM GREY-TASTIC KITTENS (+ $5)

[Mission total: + $50]

-->DELETED SCENE<--

Aiden: "....How again does dis help meh wit findin' mah elf frien?"
Sara: "It doesn't. Now less talking, more erect standing! ...speaking of erect... ahem... You gotta, little, uh, situation happening..."

Aiden: "OH NAWH NOT AGAINS!!"