EPISODE 6: LITTLE BOMB

The Governor: "Peignor... Penguin... It's all French to me!"

 *Snorts & laughs*
"I knew full well that it wasn't a Penguin but I wanted to look like The Mole so people would come after me, it's funny how the moment people think you are the Mole they suddenly all want to know your secret information for the quiz whereas before nobody wanted to play with me...
This, however, worked to my advantage, in order to get my information they had to trade with me and so now I have nearly everyone's secret information! Haha!
My gambit paid off and now a bunch of these losers think I'm the Mole! Hate to break it to you geniuses, but you just got played by The Governor!! Harharhaha!"

~DAY 6~

*Mr. Meow prepares to pounce at the dangling leg*

Aiden: "AHYUOUCH!"

*Taiha turns on her lamp*

Taiha: "Aiden??"

Fabio: "Qué diablos está pasando?!?"

Aiden: "Sum monstah unda da bed jus' attack mah feetsies!"

Taiha: "HEY! Don't call my little Prince a monster!"

Fabio: "What's going on? What are you saying??"

Aiden: "OOHF... Da monstah has exposed himself..."

Mr. Meow: "Meow."

Fabio: "What are you talking ab-..... oh."

Mr. Meow: "MEOW."

 Fabio: "I thought they confiscated your cat yesterday??"

Taiha: "Yes. They confiscated a cat....." ;-)

Fabio: "Taihaaa..."

Taiha: "Yeees...?"

Fabio: "What did you do."

Taiha: "I outsmarted Production. THAT'S what I did." ^.^

Aiden: "........OH! I GETS IT!"

Mr. Meow: "Meow?"

Fabio: "Do tell."

Mr. Meow: "MEOW!"

Aiden: "She KNEW theys were gonna take away her mice-catcher, so she fixed up somethang real smart..."

Fabio: "A decoy cat?"

Aiden: "You dog-gone right! Ah decoy! She bring TWO pussy-cats!! Da decoy was white, jus' like dis one here."

*Mr. Meow begins to purr*

Fabio: "I see. So this is the real Mr. Meow, then."

Aiden: "Yessir."

*Taiha starts clapping*

Taiha: "Bravo, BRAVO! Now that the cat is out of the bag-- quite literally-- may we all go back to sleep? Momma gato is tired af."

Fabio: "Yeah, that sounds like a good idea... wait.....what was that."

Taiha: "What was what."

Fabio: "I just heard a weird hiss."

Taiha: "Probably just Mr. Meow."

Fabio: "No, it was coming from over there."

Taiha: "Don't be silly! It was just Mr. Meow, he hisses all the time. Right, Mr. Meow?? Show 'em your best hiss!!!"

Mr. Meow: "......meow?"

Fabio: "What are you hiding now Taiha??"

Taiha: "Nothing!"

Fabio: "Do not lie to me, por favor."

Taiha: "Fiiine.... I may... OR MAY NOT.... have another cat."

Fabio: "¡Jesucristo!"

Taiha: "This story is even funnier though! Just wait till you hear it!!"

Fabio: "I don't want to hear it or get involved with any of this nonsense. I'm going back to bed."

Taiha: "Oh, well, okay... Spoiler alert! It was Remy who brought me Snuggles! We agreed beforehand that if he ever got to do a cameo, he'd sneak in another one of my cats!!!" 

Fabio: "Fascinating. Truly fascinating... Buenas noches, everyone."

Aiden: "G'night! I is gettin' pwetty tired too..."

Aiden: "Yup. Time for beddy time....... A lil' privacy, pwease? This ain't no porno!!"

Indigo: "What are you gals chattin' away at?"

Artie: "Ah, Indigo! Mon fellow Ravenclaw! Oui oui!!"

Tamela: "I don't believe we ever gave you an official Ravenclaw welcome, so... Welcome!"

Indigo: "Awww, well, thanks ladies! I appreciate the warm welcome, although no offense to you two lovely people, but this House was better with Shayne in it..."

Artie: "Non problème! I comprendre complètement. It muzt not 'ave been eazy seeing him leave so soon."

Indigo: "You're right, it wasn't... But life marches on! And so does this game... I'm exempt tonight, but you two aren't. Are either of you nervous?? This could be your last night..."

Artie: "I do not plan on going anywhere tonight. I know zat some of ze femmes 'ere déclarer themselves as ze 'Mole Queen', but mon unique goal iz to be.... ZE MOLE GODDESS!!"

Tamela: "Mole Goddess, eh? I'd argue your aesthetic is closer to a Mole FAIRY.... I'm not sure your wardrobe necessarily screams 'goddess'...."

Artie: "Vut are you doing wiz your hands?"

Tamela: "Huh?"

Artie: "Your hands, dearie. You continuellement wiggle your fingers, az if you are typing somezing."

Tamela: "Oh, right. Yes. It is something I do occasionally. Almost like a nervous tick. Blame my past as a hacker!"

Indigo: "I thought you still hacked, but for the United Nations?"

Tamela: "Like I said... That's strictly confidential." ;-)

Indigo: "Mysterious lady, you are."
Tamela: "I do not try to be."

Artie: "I know who ze Môle is."

Tamela: "Come again??"

Indigo: "Yes, say what now?!"

 Artie: "You do not 'ave to believe moi. But it'z ze truth. I know ze identité of ze Môle... And you can too, for a petit price, of course..."

Indigo: "What's your price?"

Tamela: "Don't waste your time. She is bluffing."

Artie: "Ah, but quite ze contraire, mon dear friend! I do not bluff. I 'ave intégrité!"

 Tamela: "That is hogwash and you know it. This game is not built on integrity. It is built on sabotaging and sleuthing. I'll win this game on my own accord. I do not need your false charity, thank you very much."

 Artie: "Oui, but zis iz a one-time offre! I can eazily move mon enterprise elsewhere. I 'ave many
intéressé clientèle, you know."

Tamela: "Then move it elsewhere. I am not interested in downloading your Trojan. You can find another player's game to infect, someone with a weaker firewall than I. Comprenez vous??"

 Artie: "Oui... I understand."

Indigo: "Yeesh. You alright Tamela? And where did you pull out that French from??"

Tamela: "I grew up going to private schools and got a REAL education. Picked up quite a few languages along the way."

Indigo: "Real education? As opposed to...?"

Tamela: "Lackluster education. Such as public schooling."

Indigo: "Check your privilege, mate. Not everyone grew up eating from silver spoons and living behind white picket fences. I was never afforded the privilege of attending private schools. Hell, my mom couldn't even afford a car to TAKE me to my public school. I walked to and from school every single day until I had saved up enough extra cash busing tables to be able to afford a vehicle. And really. How much better IS private school? They seem to produce more potheads than they do geniuses.... Just sayin'."

Tamela: "Privilege? I believe it's best we do not get into that, as that is a very complex and emotional subject for some. But I'll have you know that my upper-class privilege didn't do me much good in the grand scheme of things."

Indigo: "Yeah? And why's that."

Tamela: "Money has no power over cancer...."

Tamela: "...And it creates evil in the hearts of men."

Indigo: "....Oh. Okay. But wait, so, just as a recap… your mom died from cancer when you were a kid… your dad was filing for bankruptcy trying to take care of you as a single father and pay back all the medical fees, so he became a drug lord to get rich again… you found out after hacking into his computer, but before you had the chance to tell anyone, he had you kidnapped and locked up in a prison for 5 years?? Did I miss anything?”

Tamela: “Uhhh… Yes actually, my father also had me drugged so I would forget the whole ideal. When he got out of the business, he’d release me and pretend nothing happened. But he got too caught up in it and got greedy."

Indigo: "Yikes."

Tamela: "Indeed... The nightmares still continue. The missing gaps of time haunt me. The memories still rip me apart. The flashbacks still shake me to my core... I am, admittedly, a hot mess internally, even though externally I act like I have all my shit together. I wish SO much that I could go back in time... But time stops for no one. It marches on. I'd give anything to go back to see my mother again. Or just have those 5 years back that were stolen from me. I feel like I lost part of my youth. I blinked, and lost half a decade of my lifespan. It's a cruel fate, but it's the one I was given, so.... it is what it is."

Tamela: "So that's me. Tamela Wakefield... in a nutshell."

 

Indigo: "Wow. Quite the story you have there... You've gone through a lot!"
Tamela: "Yes. But haven't we all?"

Indigo: "Some more than others, I'd argue."

Tamela: "Yes. But I have found comparing one's life to another does no one any good in the end."

Artie: "EUH! Tamela!!"
Tamela: "That's me, correct."
Artie: "I almost complètement forgot to ask aboot your lazt saison!"
Tamela: "What about it?"
Artie: "Iz it true zat you stole Paul's portable?? ....errrr laptop??"

Tamela: ".........How did you know about that."

Indigo: "You stole Paul's laptop?! That's totally wicked of you!"

Tamela: "I don't want to confess to anything I did, but it's possible I might've temporarily 'borrowed' it to hack into his notes... They were protected by the user's fingerprint, so all I needed to do was get his thumbprint from his hotel door's handle and I was set after that. I thought V had caught me that morning they woke me up early.... but they never seemed to know about it, no cameraman ever caught me. So that still begs the question... How did YOU know, Artie?"

Artie: "Let's juzt say zat... I 'ave had mon own expériences 'borrowing' players' journals in ze past... So I can reconnu ze signs and symptoms of anodzer klepto from a mile away. Pluz, wiz ze fingerprint scanning of ze laptops, it waz a no-brainer zat an intelligent woman such as yourzelf might come to such a conclusion... One may claim it iz cheating. I would simply argue zat you are efficacement uzing your ressources."

 Tamela: "I understand. But let it be known I have more integrity this season. I don't plan on robbing anyone of their property, and Production has already robbed me of my ability to do any hacking since they have not provided us with any computers this season. My only asset this season is what data I already have stored within my brain."

 Artie: "Mon asset zis saison iz zat I get to be more artistique! I wazn't granted such privilège being stuck on a petit and dirty island lazt time."

Indigo: "Yeah, you're pretty artistic. As for me, I'm just autistic."

Tamela: "Really?"

Indigo: "No, not really... Although when I was a kid my mom thought I was. Yeah. Good times.

So anyways... When's the Quiz?? I can't wait to watch safely from the sidelines! EEK!!"

THE QUIZ IS NEXT...

5 QUESTIONS ABOUT THE IDENTITY OF THE MOLE

THE PLAYER WHO KNOWS THE LEAST INFORMATION ABOUT THE MOLE WILL BE EXECUTED, AND WILL IMMEDIATELY TAKE A ONE-WAY PLANE RIDE HOME."

GREY: "Good evening, everyone. Please find a seat."

Evarrine: "There appears to be a mistake. I cannot find my throne."

GREY: "Shut up, cunt."

Linda: "Oof... gg."

 Throvan: "Humans lack basic respect for one another. It brings me great sadness and makes me question my quest returning to this land..."

Evarrine: "Tell me about... You and me both, Elf. The sheer audacity of some of these people... They shall get what's coming to them. They ALWAYS do...."

GREY: "If my eyes don't deceive me, I think I can make out Indigo, Aiden, and Fabio."

GREY: "Because you 3 weren't able to use your exemptions the last round, you will be automatically using them tonight. Please have a seat over yonder in the exemption zone."

GREY: "Alright! Without further adieu, let's get started. Who should we start with, jury?"

Fabio: "I'd like to see papá--I MEAN THE GOVERNOR-- start. Hehe..."

Indigo: "I'm cool with that."

GREY: "The tribe has spoken. Governor, we'll begin tonight with you."

The Gov: "Fuck you, 'tribe'. Fuck you very much."

The Gov: "DAVID BYRD FOR PRESIDENT 2020!!" >:)

GREY: "We'll proceed in a clockwise fashion."

GREY: "Queen B, time to see your results."

Evarrine: "Another mistake. It's Queen E. Or Queen R. I will accept either."

GREY: "How about W for Queen Wacko?"

Evarrine: "Just show me my results, you peasant."

Evarrine: "How about V for Queen Victorious??"

GREY: "Linda."

Linda: "Hold on, lemme quick save real quick in case this is game over for me. Don't want to lose all my progress!"

Linda: "I live to fight another day!"

GREY: "Taiha."

Taiha: "Give it to me, Grey! GIVE IT TO ME!!"

GREY: "Gross."

Taiha: "I just KNEW you'd deliver the goods, babe!"

GREY: "I am actively trying not to puke. Up next: Artie."

 

 Artie: "Oh merde."

GREY: "Unfortunately, Artie, you have been executed. Please say your goodbyes and make your way to the taxi."

Artie: "Mesdames et Messieurs.... Eet haz been much amusement. I 'ave enjoyed every moment of zis aventure. Zank you to all involved who contribué to moi recasting of zis saison. I much apprécier eet, I would not trade zis expérience for anyzing... 

But before I part, I would like to drop zis petite bombe......"

Artie: "ZE MÔLE IZ INDIGO!!"

Artie: "TOODLES MOI POODLES!!!"