GREY: "And now for our last official segment.... THE FAN FAVORITE POLL!"
GREY:
"For the past week, Mole Fans worldwide have been ranking their
favorite player to their least favorite player, and the results are in!"
GREY: "The fan favorite of Season 7 is--"
Yan The Cameraman: *Pulls camera to himself* "IT'S ME!!!"
*everybody gasps*
GREY: "Yan, we talked about this. I know you are frustrated, but stop being such an attention whore!"
Yan The Cameraman: "No, Grey. This is my moment!"
Yan: "Of course I'm not the fan fav, I mean that is literally impossible without being in the cast,
duh. BUT, I am the winner of something. All these days, I was the winner
of fooling you guys around. As I'm NOT Yan the Cameraman."
?: "You may have
wondered why one person from Season 6 was missing in the cameos, especially in the Clue mission......."
The Gov: "No, we didn't miss Ben Schiffer."
?: "Oh yeah?? And what if I told you..."
*pulls off his beanie*
Ben: "If I was Ben Schiffer??!" *grins*
Aiden: "Gee wiz!"
Shayne: "What."
Indigo: "I totally didn't see that coming."
Tamela: "Nice to see you again Mister Schiffer."
Artie: "Ah, Ben mon Ami! Wie geht es dir?"
Izzy: "Benny!!! You sneaky one!" *laughs*
Maya: "Hey Buddy, to one disguiser to another, I had NO idea!"
Ben: "Thanks Maya, same goes to you."
GREY: "Woah woah woah, pause everybody. Ben, what the fuck. You've been our main camera man the whole season?"
Ben: "Yup! E-Kat helped me get the position.... Although the only qualification was to come up with a name that rhymed with 'Stan' or 'Dan' or just 'man', really.... Although I guess I could have just went with Ben, part of the camera men..."
GREY: "Wait, Katharina knew about this? Why can't that girl just shut her mouth? But how?"
Ben: "Well, lemme explain. E-Kat and V had a conversation a while ago. E-Kat was frustrated because Karen, one of the executive producers, originally promised her to be the host, but then you came back from jail and she chose you instead."
Ben: "Then E-Kat had the idea that since V mentioned how sad she was about my early elimination, I would go undercover and pretend to be a young cameraman. I loved the plan since I always had a thing for acting. So V told me the most important things about undercover missions she could, and then we created the alias Yan together! I'm honestly gonna miss being him, playing annoyed was way funnier than I expected."
GREY: "Okay, you had your fun, now get out."
Ben: "Not so fast. The producers were all in on the plan, even Karen, so I am more than welcome here. And before you even CONSIDER the thought of doing something similar to me with what you did to Nocturne in Season 2, you should know that I was trained by Sin Fu Master Jelly Petrova as well as Antoine from season 3! You'll get your ass extra kicked too for claiming that I was the Fabio of my season!!"
GREY: "Ha! You think I'm gonna shoot you?? I just got out of jail, I'm not dumb enough to go back in.... Unless someone this season decides to pull yet another disguise off, because I SWEAR, if Aiden is secretly Alberto or Nocturne in disguise, I might as well just shoot myself with that gun!"
Ben: "Hmmm.... Maybe you should go back to jail anyway for what you did to Taiha's cats!"
GREY: "Taiha's cats? Most of them weren't hers. Hell, half of them were strays, and some I'm sure she stole from loving homes!"
Ben: "Doesn't matter where they came from! What matters is you brought them to a KILL shelter! Maybe you'd like to take their place, eh?"
Taiha: "Preach it, Benjamin! Maybe Grey should try getting executed for once!!"
GREY: "Oh, stop your bitching already. I didn't bring them to a kill shelter."
Ben: "Elaborate."
GREY: "I love animals! People? Not so much. Granted, I do like dogs more than cats, which is why I always liked Max more than Taiha.... but no. Kenzen or Karen might have put them down, but I was able to find them loving homes quite instantly after that episode aired. Many Taiha and Mole fans across the world wanted them, in fact I actually pocketed quite a bit of money auctioning them off!
So yes. They are all safe and sound in loving homes. I made sure of it."
Taiha: "Wait, so.... all this time..... you...."
GREY: "Yes Taiha. I lied to you. At first it was nice getting you off my back, but then I realized I may.... OR MAY NOT.... have missed the attention.... just a TAD...?"
Taiha: "D'awwwww! GREYSON! That's that sweetest thing you've ever said to me!!"
GREY: "It was? Guess it wasn't difficult competition..."
Taiha: "Wait.... DID YOU ADOPT ONE FOR YOURSELF??"
GREY: "....how did you know that."
Taiha: "Because I could smell pussy-cat on you! Plus, you have white fur all over your suit!! OMG Grey, I can't believe you're a father of a cat now!! Thanks to ME!"
GREY: "Uhhhh can't say I've ever smelled like pussy before but-"
Taiha: "-I'M SO SO SORRY GREY, I can't believe I ever doubted how wonderful and beautiful of a man you are!! You TRULY are the one for me!! I can't wait for us to start our family and have little mole babies....EEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!"
GREY: "Oh god. What have I done."
GREY:
"First off, ew. Second off... gross. But also thirdly... I don't want
ickie kids, ESPECIALLY with you. Mole babies though? I guess that's
cute, having little mini moles running around... except they'll look
like you and they'll be calling me 'daddy'.... so NEVER MIND TAIHA."
Taiha: "OMG that's my show!"
GREY: "What is."
Taiha:
"Mini Mole! That was my show! Were you like a huge fan of it?? Did you
watch it every day in prison?! Just like how I watch you every night???"
GREY: "That's not creepy at all.... Wait-a-minute. YOU MADE A KNOCK-OFF OF MY SHOW!?"
Taiha: "Well, it's not YOUR show you know.... And sooooo you never watched it?" :(
GREY: "Nope. I guess that's one favor prison did for me! I hope you had terrible ratings."
Taiha: "It was actually a huge hit!" ^_^
GREY: "Of fucking course it was."
Taiha: "Maybe I should bring it back.....?"
GREY: "No. You shouldn't. Now shut up Taiha. Not everything is always about you!"
Ben: "Yay! Taiha and Grey's love story continues!
ANYWAYS. Grey.... get back to your job, you have a fan favorite to announce."
GREY: "Oh yes! I do!"
GREY: "And maybe after this, we can all FINALLY get home and go to bed! It's been a looooong night and an even longer season!"
GREY: "Right. So as I was saying, after I was so RUDELY interrupted... In 5th place, we have...."
GREY: "Taiha! In 4th place, we have......"
GREY: "Aiden! In 3rd place, we have......"
GREY: "Maya! ....and also partly Evarrine, haha. And in 2nd place, we have......"
GREY: "Governor Byrd! Damn Dave, you almost won fan favorite again."
The Governor: "What can I say, my voters are very loyal supporters!!"
GREY: "Which means, the ultimate fan favorite of this All-Stars season, and taking home $50,000
is.................."
GREY: "FABIO!!! ....wait. What??"
Fabio: "Que?"
GREY: "This must be a typo!!"
GREY: "Or at least some cruel joke, no way in hell did FABIO win this fan fav vote!"
Linda:
"I agree! This must be a glitch or bug, because no way does an NPC get any votes at
all."
Fabio: "...."
Fabio: "...."
Throvan: "Ai. I believe it. This is a good human being."
Taiha: "Agreed!"
Tamela: "I concur!"
Maya: "Yes, he deserves it for how much of a meme he's become! He's our amigo!"
GREY: "Shut your traps, I didn't ask for comments from the peanut gallery!"
Fabio:
"Well, hate to break it to you Grey, but it doesn't seem like a joke. I
guess I made more of an impact on the show than you ever imagined! I
humbly accept my cash prize, too.... This will help in locating my abuelo and keeping my cafe in business, tambien."
GREY: "So this is what this show has come to, eh?"
GREY: "It's been reduced to people like Fabio being the favorite!?! What the actual FUCK!!"
Taiha: "Oh Grey Bear, don't be so dramatic!!!"
GREY: "It's a good thing this show is FINALLY retiring, because I QUIT!!!"
Taiha: "Huh."
Taiha: "HOLD UP, YOU'RE THE KING OF THE MOLE, YOU CAN'T QUIT BABY!!!!"
GREY: "WATCH ME!!!"
Taiha: "Greyson, WAIT! Hey! Slow down..... GREY!!!! OH GREY, PLEASE MARRY ME!! I WANTED TO LIVE WITH 100 CATS AND NOT GET MARRIED BUT I'LL GIVE THAT UP FOR YOU!!!!"
Taiha: "GREY! I LOVE YOUUUUUUU!!!"
