THE MOLE 7: EPISODE 2: HERE LIES TWO GRAVES

~ THE MOLE HOUSE ~

Kenneth: "Damn. What a view!"

Aiden: "Hay e'erybodeh! I found da front door!"

Shayne: "Good boy, Aiden! Do you want a cookie??"
Aiden: "Yup yup!"

Evarrine: "Someone please escort me to my throne. I have been on my feet all day."

Taiha: "OMG I can't wait to see what this place looks like from the inside! I bet it's--OUWCH!! MAH WITTLE NOSE!"

Taiha: "Ohhh... It's pull not push! Hehehe, silly Taiha!"

Kaitlin: "This floor plan is rather... open. I hope there's a nice quaint little library somewhere like in the Penthouse from last season...."
Shayne: "Yes, I'm with you there. Or perhaps a small study, some place where I can relax and recharge."
Kaitlin: "How about a tranquil garden?"
Shayne: "Meh. That'll be too reminiscent of that godawful Spring room I was forced to sleep in..."

Linda: "The usual ultra-modern painting; check."
Artie: "No unique painting iz uzual, Linda. All paintings are unique."

Kenneth: "You just said that."
Artie: "Said wut?"
Kenneth: "That paintings are unique."
Artie: "I beg your pardōn?"
Kenneth: "You-... oh never mind. Let's save this conversation for later! I am just dying to learn more about your culture!!"

Kaitlin: "Hmm.... Are they bringing our luggage here soon?"
Taiha: "Don't worry, I was promised that they have already delivered it! Speaking of which... I have something... I need to take care of ASAP!!"

Izzy: "Oooooh, how fitting. A golden star for All-Stars! Perhaps the winner of this season will be able to take this trophy home? Which, will DEF be me, because of course I'm going to win. First the Mole, then the All-Star Winner?!
I need the money more than anyone else anyhow...."

Aiden: "Euh. Moneh corrupts folk! I'm sure a pwetty gurl of da likes of you can git anythang she want widout spendin' a single penny.... Oof, how I miss mah pet pig Penny already! Oh, 'n by da way... I wouldn't mind takin' you outs to dinner sometime if yous be piss-poor...."
Izzy: "Awe, that's sweet Aiden. I'll have to think about it."

Aiden: "Oh, OK den......... WOAH! Look at all da fishies! These'll be real good in mah yummeh roadkill stew!!"

Izzy: "This is a HUGE improvement over the house I stayed at during my season... Probably because I never stayed at an actual house. It was basically just a platform of sticks, rocks, and bamboo! I was bamboozled!!"

Izzy: "But this?! This is luxury at its finest!!"
Taiha: "He's gonna love all this open space to run around and play in!!"
Aiden: "Who you talkin' 'bout, Willis?"
Taiha: "Uhhh YOU of course, Aiden! Who else?!"
Izzy: "OH MY LORD LOOK AT THAT VIEW!"

Taiha: "Aaaah an Asian-inspired bathroom! Lemme know if there's any cutie patootie panda cubs in there, Kaitlin!"

Kaitlin: "Please tell me this isn't the only bathroom..."
Yan the Cameraman: "It is."
Kaitlin: "Grrr..."

Tamela: "Do you know what's up with these giant trophy cups, Artie?"

Artie: "Non, I do not..."
Tamela: "They are very peculiar. What about upstairs?"

Artie: "Muzt be ze chambres?"
Tamela: "...Chambers?? God, I hope not. Been there, done that already."

Artie: "Euh, I meant ze bedrooms! Pardon, my bad... Zat said, I am getting particulier
Harry Potter ambiance 'ere. Perhapz a 'chamber of secrets' izn't too far from ze truth...?"

Fabio: "Are these...?"

Fabio: "Blasted production! They've placed rocking chairs in this house on purpose to torment me!"
Taiha: "Fabio? Are you 'right? You seem tense--"
Fabio: "I MUST FLEE!"

Fabio: "EXCUSE ME!"

Shayne: "Hey dude, watch where you're going!"
Indigo: "Shayne!"
Shayne: "What?! He just ran right into you without apologizing!"

Indigo: "No, look at this room! Do you think it's the confessional room?"

Shayne: "Oh, yeah, probably. It looks pretty small."

Shayne: "So is it or isn't it?"

Indigo: "It is! I'll have to swing by for a little one-on-one update with the world later."

Shayne: "Cool..."

Evarrine: "Step to the side, peasant. This throne is mine!"

The Gov: "You're delusional, woman! I abide by the law of 'finders keepers'. And I found it first!"

Evarrine: "You DO realize that this is a throne fit only for a Queen, such as myself, correct?"

The Gov: "How do you know it's not for a king, huh??"
Evarrine: "Because there is only a single crown at this table and I am not wedded to anyone. Obviously."

The Gov: "Well, in your scenario, how do you know that I'm not the designated Queen, huh?!?!
Answer me THAT, Ms. Roland!"

Evarrine: "...Must I REALLY answer that?"

Fabio: "Ah yes, the kitchen! Attached to the dining room! Who would have thunk it?"

Fabio: "Not me, that's who!"

Fabio: "I do wonder though if there's any chefs this season... I may have to take over Lyla's position and cook for the whole house. Not that I'm not used to that by now, being a new father and all."

Throvan: "ALAE!"
Fabio: "What did you say?"

Throvan: "Behold! The sea! Please, join me at this view of such immense natural beauty. I am stricken by awe..."

Fabio: "I'm more interested in what's beyond the kitchen, myself."

Linda: "Sweet! They've hooked us up with a few consoles. We can play video games INSIDE a video game!! How meta is that, Kenneth?!"

Kenneth: "Not sure what you mean, but hey, I got to admit, this house is pretty sweet. Loads different from the house I stayed at in season 2. This place is definitely All-Star worthy. There's something missing though... Was there an upstairs?"
Linda: "Yeah, why?"

Kenneth: "I haven't seen the bedrooms yet. Wonder what the theme is this time?"
Linda: "Theme?"
Kenneth: "Yeah, last time the bedroom theme was the elements. What was yours?"

Linda: "Uhhh... Beach?"
Kenneth: "That's cool!"
Linda: "Not really... I got sand in every single one of my orifices."
Kenneth: "Please elaborate." ;-)

Linda: "Well, sometimes when I sat down, some sand got stuck in my va--"

Izzy: "EVERYONE! COME CHECK THIS OUT!!"

* * *

Izzy: "I found a note! It says beds await us upstairs, but first, we must be sorted into our respective 'House'..."

Throvan: "Are we not already in a 'house'?"
Aiden: "I likes dis one. Its got purdy colors."

Artie: "Zen my théorie waz correct. Zis saison's chambres thème iz Harry Potter!"

Indigo: "How exciting!!"

Shayne: "Anyone hear that? Someone just knocked at the door!"

Linda: "Oh, hey, look! It's Grey!"

Taiha: "...Grey's here?!? At MY door???"

Taiha: "MOVE ASIDE, BIATCHES!"
Aiden: "Ufgh!"
Izzy: "Ow! My precious booby!"

Taiha: "Hold on tight, babe! I'M COMING FOR YOU!!"

Evarrine: "What a fool."
Kenneth: "Classic Taiha!"
Izzy: "Thirsty ass bitch... I LOVE HER ALREADY!"

GREY: "Good evening, everyone! Enjoying the new Mole House so far?"
The Gov: "Oh, yes, we are all enjoying it VERY much..." *coughs profusely*

GREY: "I hear Artie here has already figured 'ze chambre thème' out. It is indeed Harry Potter!"

GREY: "Before I get you all sorted though, I am here to deliver some sobering news..."
Fabio: "You're no longer sober?"

GREY: "Nwa, please don't interrupt me again."

Fabio: "Nwa?"

GREY: "Yes, Nwa. Please respect the host, who is currently trying to speak. Thank you."

Fabio: "But I'm not Nwa-- I am Fabio!"

GREY: "Pft! FABIO?! Why in the world would FABIO be in the All-Stars season?! What unfinished business would he have? Try not to be a loser for once? Spoiler alert: He can't. Once a loser, always a loser!!"

Fabio: "..."

GREY: "Hah, yeah, 'Fabio'... Good one, Nwa! You're not as dry as I remember.... Or maybe your dryness was just dry humor all along!"

GREY: "AS I was saying..."

Shayne: "Is it just me or did the staircase change again?"
Artie: "Ooooh, eet did! Eet iz rainbow coloré!!! 'Ow beau!"

GREY: "The sobering news is this: for two of you, this will be your first AND last night staying at The Mole House. Your suspicions are true: the first execution will indeed be a double elimination, which is why the first mission was so crucial."

GREY: "Normally we postpone the first execution until after two missions have been completed...
But not this season. This being the most cutthroat season to date, it is do or die. And since 5 of you did NOT do, 2 of you... will soon die."

GREY: "METAPHORICALLY SPEAKING, of course!! You won't be executed until tomorrow night, so please enjoy the next 24 hours here in The Mole House.
But enough of the depressing stuff. Let's get into the sorting, shall we?!"

GREY: "One at a time, you will put on a silly talking sorting hat.... Minus the talking part. It doesn't talk, since, well... magic doesn't exist."

Evarrine: "WANT TO BET ON THAT, YOU MERE MORTAL!?"

GREY: "...So if everyone could get in a single-file line, that would be GREAT."

Taiha: "Grey, you're so grey-t! Get it? GREYT?!?"

GREY: "I swear to the lord if you make one more Grey pun I'm calling the cops."

Artie: "I call being sorted premier!"

GREY: ".....Annnd here we are! Artie's got the 'magic' sorting hat on, and any moment now, the decision of what House she belongs in will be made...

Can you make a prediction of where you'll be sorted, Artie?"

Artie: "Of ze course! Ravenclaw, duh."

GREY: "Interesting guess. Artie has predicted Ravenclaw for herself, which, for those of you who are unfamiliar with Harry Potter; is one of the 4 Houses. The basic rundown is this..."

Those in HUFFLEPUFF are hardworking like a badger.

Those in GRYFFINDOR are courageous like a lion.

Those in RAVENCLAW are wise like an eagle.

Those in SLYTHERIN are cunning like a snake.

GREY: "THE RESULTS ARE IN!"

~RAVENCLAW~

~HUFFLEPUFF~

~GRYFFINDOR~

~SLYTHERIN~

~HUFFLEPUFF~

~RAVENCLAW~

~SLYTHERIN~

~RAVENCLAW~

~GRYFFINDOR~

~RAVENCLAW~

~SLYTHERIN~

~HUFFLEPUFF~

Indigo: "What is wrong with this production? First they lie to me about not bringing Evarrine back at all cost, and then they put me in the wrong Harry Potter House? I've done all tests for Harry Potter houses because I love this movie and all of them state that I'm Ravenclaw and not Hufflepuff. I mean sure Hufflepuff is alright, but all things happening in my life clearly speak for me being a Ravenclaw.
Also, Shayne and I are apart from each other, which only makes things worse, and to top it off, I'll be stuck in a room with Aiden, Taiha and Fabio. Don't get me wrong, Aiden is like the big brother I never had, and Fabio is rather uninteresting, but Taiha is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo annoying!"
Yan, the Cameraman: "I know, right? I mean her obsession with Grey even gets to behind-the-scenes. If this goes on like that, Grey will go crazy and I will be the one who needs to host this, and that NEEDS to be avoided! Being a camera man is already annoying enough. Also... something is fishy about the sorting. I'm a Ravenclaw myself and you are not that much different from me, something must have gone wrong…"
Indigo: "So you will talk to the Producers? Oh thank you so so so so much! BYE!!!"
Yan, the Cameraman: "Yes, but..... dang, she is gone, now I have to do this. I hate this job..."

Izzy: "Outta my way! Queen Mole must find her new burrow!!"

Taiha: "YAAAS! Hufflepuff House is just like the Earth room from season 2! He's gonna feel RIGHT at home..."

Izzy: "Where's Slytherin's Dungeon?!"

Linda: "Certainly not here.... This is my House!"

Linda: "GRYFFINDOR!!"

Izzy: "Ah, yes, YES! I found it!"

Izzy: "SLYTHERIN!"

Izzy: "Guys, we should totally have a slumber party in here!! I love how it's all one big giant room, we can have pillow fights every night! Someone get the champagne, I'll pop it!!"

Izzy: "Oh shit! I thought that was real for a second!"

Izzy: "Must be a clue for Viperfang, huh? Juuust kidding everyone, wrong season! But if this were season 5 that would TOTES be a hint to me being the Mole...."

Izzy: "...but I am NOT the Mole again. Trust me. You do trust me, right??" ;-)

Tamela: "Hey Kait!"

Kaitlin: "Hehe, hey Tam!"

Tamela: "Long time, no see!"

Kaitlin: "Well, until tonight, it HAD been a long time since we've seen each other... Since last season's finale, actually...."

Tamela: "Yeeeah... Sorry about that, by the way. As you know, I was.... preoccupied with my father over the last year, to put it lightly. The trial was big enough to make it onto national news, it's not every day a reality show 'star' goes to court against her father for locking his own daughter up in an attempt to protect her..."

Kaitlin: "It... it's no issue with me, trust me. I know you were going through your own recovery process, and besides, I was busy with... family stuff too...."
Tamela: "What 'family' stuff?"
Kaitlin: "Mmm..."

Kaitlin: "...It doesn't matter anymore."

Tamela: "I don't understand though, what family do you have left? Your parents both perished in that fire, and you have no siblings... that I'm aware of?"

Kaitlin: "Look, I'd rather not talk about it right now, on night one. That's in the past. I must focus on the present! I'm here, on The Mole for a SECOND time, and so are you!! How amazing is that?! I can't believe how well my fortune has turned around..."

Tamela: "OKAY Miss Secretive, don't tell me then. I guess my sly reporter sleuthing skills don't work on everyone! ....WAIT. Are you the Mole?!"

Kaitlin: "Oh stop it. Like I would even tell you if I were!"

Tamela: "So you aren't...? Good to know, I'll make sure to check you off my journal, hehe."
Kaitlin: "Yes, please do that..." ;-)

Tamela: "Say, how did you end up with the queen bed in here?"

Kaitlin: "Linda agreed I was moreso the Queen of Gryffindor, and Kenneth was good and let me have it. Plus, I don't think he minds being closer to Aiden, they seem to be hitting it off."

Tamela: "Ooh really? How interesting. Perhaps Aiden reminds Kenneth of Thomas?"
Kaitlin: "Who?"
Tamela: "Oh, sorry, I forgot you haven't really seen the show. Thomas was on the season before ours- wait, no, that's not right. Sorry, I still get the seasons mixed up, after losing 5 years of my life and all... Part of me still wants to think this is currently season 4! But anyway; Kenneth made Thomas his wingman, so he could be doing the same with Aiden now... what's wrong?"

Kaitlin: "Oh, it's nothing... It's just... when I was brushing my teeth downstairs, Taiha was telling me all about Kenneth and his shenanigans. He seems... y'know...."

Tamela: "Like he's not a good guy?"

Kaitlin: "Precisely."

Tamela: "Don't you worry about him, if he EVER makes you uncomfortable, even for a SECOND, come straight to me and I'll put him in his place. It's been 5 years though, I'm sure the boy has grown up into a man by now."

Kaitlin: "Boys never grow up..."

Tamela: "Amen to that, sistah!"

Shayne: "Soooo..."

Throvan: "So."

Shayne: "It appears that Artie and Tamela have already found a spot to sleep..."

Throvan: "So it appears."

Shayne: "Right. So I'm not sure about you, but I've never shared a bed with another dude before, and I wasn't planning to start now..."

Throvan: "I share your concern with you. I am not typically one to share my den with others."

Shayne: "Glad we're on the same page. It's not like sharing a bed is THAT big of a deal, but..."

Throvan: "No, of course not."

Shayne: "Huh?"

Throvan: "Apologies. 'No' in Elven Tongue translates to 'yes' in English."

Shayne: "Gotcha. But anyway, I'm here with my girlfriend and I'd rather be sharing a bed with her, if I had to share with anyone at all."

Throvan: "I understand."
Shayne: "Or maybe I can just sleep on the couch?"
Throvan: "Hm...."

Throvan: "Nae! A idea has come to me. I am unsure if they allow this, but why not I and Indigo switch? I envy the nature present in Hufflepuff, and it will allow the two of you to be together in here!"

Shayne: "I'm for it. And plus, you and your Juliet will be together as well!"

Throvan: "No! I mean... no!!"

Shayne: "...I'm still confused, but I like this plan nonetheless. Besides, you fit the loyal and hardworking qualities of being a Hufflepuff, and Indigo has been complaining to Production all night about not being correctly sorted into Ravenclaw, so, it actually works out well."

Throvan: "Very well. I shall ask her."

Fabio: "Being a forgotten contestant isn't as bad as you might think, you know. Hell, being the most irrelevant player of my season is what GOT me cast onto this one! Talk about a blessing in disguise. And something about being an underdog is very empowering. I wouldn't be surprised if you or I blew the competition away! They all have such big egos. They won't see us coming at all."

Indigo: "Yeah, maybe you have a point... It was different for me though, I didn't become a meme like you did. I was only forgotten because like a third of the cast looked like me! There was Shayne, Ashlee, Sara, and obviously myself. We were like one big goth family, hehehe."

Fabio: "So one could say you were... forgothen??"

Indigo: "No, Fabio. No one would say that."

Fabio: "Awe..."

Indigo: "Wait, so, Fabio..."
Fabio: "Yes?"

Indigo: "About the finale of season 1..."
Fabio: "Ha, I'm surprised you still remember that. Or be interested enough to ask me a question about it."

Indigo: "Right. So I remember that you were deported by that cop in the end. How were you able to make it back here?"
Fabio: *chuckles slightly* "Oh, my sweet child. That was staged to help boost ratings. I'd taken care of my green card way back when I was in my 20's."
Indigo: "So you weren't actually deported??"

Fabio: "No, although my father was when he tried to sneak us across the border from Mexico to the USA. I was just a kid, my sister not much older at the time. It took us a LONG time to become naturalized citizens."
Indigo: "What about your mom?"
Fabio: "...She died shortly after we made it to the states. My sister basically raised me. Our father told us before he was taken away, to go on and enjoy our freedom and never come back for him if something were to go down. He promised he'd find a way back to us... But we never saw him again."

Indigo: "I'm so sorry to hear that..."

Fabio: "Don't be; it was a long time ago. And it did help turn us into the people we are now. Right now we're actually working to locate our father and get him a green card, although the process has drawn out for years. And it doesn't help that the White House is occupied by that orange asshat at the moment. I was hoping that by winning the money, I could help move things along."

Indigo: "Well, good luck with that. I'm sure one way or another you'll be able to do it."
Fabio: "Thank you. I just hope my kids can finally live close enough to visit their abuelito all the time."

Indigo: "I'm sure that would be much preferred! What about your wife? How long have you two been married?"
Fabio: "Oh, we met shortly after I was eliminated from the show. For some odd reason I was her favorite contestant and she traveled all the way to Texas to greet me as I stepped out of the airplane. It was love at first sight, let me tell you! We've been happily married ever since. We've had 2 kids together, a boy and a girl."

Indigo: "That's nice... I wish I could have a family like that..."

Fabio: "Why can't you? You and Shayne are going strong, aren't you? Have you talked about having kids with him?"

Indigo: "Ha! We've barely talked about marriage, let alone kids! I've been wanting him to pop the question for MONTHS now but every time I bring it up, he just brushes me off. I swear, if he doesn't commit soon... He might just lose me."

Fabio: "Perhaps you can give him an ultimatum?"

Indigo: "Hmmm... Like what?"

Fabio: "Good question."

Indigo: "OH, I KNOW!"
Fabio: "Yes?"
Indigo: "If he doesn't propose to me now, I'll rip out his vocal chord so he won't be able to propose to any girl ever!!"

Indigo: "AND if he doesn't impregnate me soon, I'll rip off his testicles so he won't be able to have kids with any other girl ever!!"

Indigo: "What? Is that going too far??"
Fabio: "Something like that..."
*Fabio crosses his legs uncomfortably*

Indigo: "Heheheehee!"

Indigo: "You know what Fabio? You're not nearly as bad as people say!"

Fabio: "Wait, who's saying bad things about me?"
Indigo: "Errr.... everyone?"

Throvan: "Greetings Indigo, Nwa."

Fabio: "Hola, Throvan. I don't think we've officially met yet, because my name is actually F--"

Throvan: "Nwa, yes, I am aware."

Fabio: "..."
Indigo: "What's up Throvan?? What brings you all the way to Hufflepuff Headquarters?"

Throvan: "I have business with you."

Fabio: "Oooh, like.... unfinished business...??"
Indigo: "Let the man speak, will you?"
Fabio: "Right. Sorry..."
Indigo: "So what business!?'

Throvan: "I find this place to be more my calling. The light is more natural, the air more crisp. And more importantly: you should be sharing your den with your partner."

Indigo: "Okay. Annnd... you want to... switch rooms with me?"

Throvan: "Correct."

Indigo: "Aweee, Throvan! How sweet of you!! I humbly accept your offer!"

Indigo: "And production is a-okay with it?"

Throvan: "Yes. At least, Yan is."

Fabio: "But he's just the camera guy!"

Yan the Cameraman: "SHUT UP, FABIO! I'M MORE THAN 'JUST' THE CAMERA GUY!"

Indigo: "Thanks again, Throvan! EEEEEK! I'll be able to sleep with Shayne, in Ravenclaw, where I RIGHTFULLY belong!!"

Fabio: "Welp. It was nice knowing you while it lasted..."

Indigo: "Toodles my poodles!!"

Taiha: "POODLES STINK! LIKE ALL DOGS DO!!"

Indigo: "Hey hot stuff! SURPRISE!"

Shayne: "You know, I assumed as much."
Indigo: "What?"

Shayne: "That you just couldn't stay away from me and would be crawling back for more."

Indigo: "Oh yeah, is that right?"

Shayne: "Uh-huh."

Indigo: “You know what they say about assuming, dontcha?”

Shayne: “Yeah? What do they say?”

Indigo: "Hehehee... Well, anyway. That was super-duper-uber nice of Throvan to switch with me!!"

Shayne: "Yeah, he's a really good guy, that Throvan. Not that I should be surprised; he's the ambassador of elvenkind. He's trying to give him and his people a good image, the LAST thing he wants is to tarnish his reputation."

Indigo: "Pft, yeah. Like The Mole is a good place to start??"

Shayne: "Well, actually, it is! Maybe not The Mole specifically, but any popular reality TV show would do. Think about it. He doesn't understand social media, so Youtube, Snapchat, Twitter, etc, are out of the question. A news interview could suffice, but I don't think it is enough to show who he REALLY is. On a show, the audience gets to see all sides of him, in his 'natural habitat'... Plus, he's earning easy money, even if he doesn't win at the end. Heck, he won fan favorite his season, didn't he? I'm sure he got some money out of that. It's not like it is legal to just got out and hunt anywhere you want in this country, so he's gotta earn money even if the concept of money is foreign to him."

Indigo: "Enough fangirling over Throvan. I'm worried about you!"

Shayne: "Me?! Why?"

Indigo: "You're not safe going into tomorrow night's execution ceremony... And it's a DOUBLE elimination, Shayne!"
Shayne: "I know... I'll be fine."

Indigo: "Will you though? I want to help you but I'm not sure how..."

Shayne: "Well, for starters, if you're the Mole, now would be a good time to tell me!"

Indigo: "You know we can't tell each other that, the Producers explicitly said that was against the rules for us both playing together...."

Shayne: "I'm just joking with you, Indie. I guess I'm nervous too. This is our second chance, and I don't want to waste it. It would be great to have the extra money to give us a head start on raising, well, you know.... never mind..."

Indigo: "On raising what?? Tell me!"

Shayne: "...I was hesitant before about having kids, but I think I've warmed up to the idea...
I want to start a family with you, Indigo."

Indigo: "Oh, Shayne! I do too!!"

Shayne: "Phew!"

Indigo: "You thought I didn't want to?? I was actually just talking to Fabio--"

Shayne: "FABIO? Ew. Why were you talking to him?"

Indigo: "It doesn't matter now, but he really got me excited about the idea of raising kids! I want to Shayne, I really do. And with you."
Shayne: "Come here, sweet cheeks."

Shayne: "I love you, Indie. I'm utterly exhausted though, so we'll talk in the morning about it, okay?"

Indigo: "I love you too, babe. Good night!"

~DAY 2~

*The Governor can be heard snoring loudly*

Evarrine: "Such a vile man..."

Evarrine: "The Queen cannot get any rest in her own chamber due to that atrociously noisy pig!"

Taiha: "-MEOW!"

Evarrine: "Huh?"

The Gov: "...hauuughk...shooo... only two things in life.... death 'n taxes..... back off, IRS!..... zzzz......"

Evarrine: "What an ogre."

Taiha: "Pspspspspspspspspspspspsps!"

Evarrine: "Peasant! What in the world are you doing up this early making such godawful sounds?!"

Taiha: "Auck! Oh, it's just you......... I could ask you the same thing!"

Evarrine: "I asked first."
Taiha: "I asked second!"
Evarrine: "Hmm..."

Evarrine: "I needed some respite from that ogre I unfortunately share my chamber with. The sounds emitting from his face drives me to insanity."

*The Governor begins snoring louder than before*

Taiha: "Isn't your thing that you're ALREADY insane, though....?"

Evarrine: "EXCUSE ME?! Why, I have never met such a disloyal servant in all my immortality!"

Taiha: "Servant?! What makes you think I'm your servant?? And Evarrine, we've met before last night, silly goose-goose!"

Evarrine: "Oh. Have we? I don't recall..."

Taiha: "Uh-huh. During the 20 Questions mission from your season, remember?! The final 4 of your season faced the final 4 from my season! That was CHAOTIC, to say the least!"

Evarrine: "Oh yes, it is coming back to me now. I try to block out that miserable time of my life. Makes you question why I ever returned to this realm..."

Taiha: "Well, why didja?!"

Evarrine: "Revenge, small one. The answer is REVENGE!"

Taiha: "Doesn't the saying go that if you plan to plot revenge, dig two graves?"

Evarrine: "That saying is for weak minds."
Taiha: "Meh. If you say so!"

Evarrine: "I do say so. My life has revolved around exacting sweet sweet revenge and look how successful I am! It takes a special kind of woman, however, to pull it off as magnificently as I do."

Taiha: "There's a few rumors going around that you, uh...."

Evarrine: "That I what, exactly?"

Taiha: "...that you were sent to an insane asylum right after your finale but they eventually kicked you out because you were too much to handle."

Evarrine: "That humors me immensely. Go on."

Taiha: "And that's it, really. Shayne joked that you've been ruling over the homeless population in New York City, pretending to be their Queen... experiencing many delusions of grandeur..."

Evarrine: "That little maggot!"

Evarrine: "OFF WITH HIS HEAD!"

Taiha: "Calm down, Evarrine!"

Evarrine: "Do NOT utter my name ever again. I am your QUEEN and you will call me as such!"

Evarrine: "Now, get out of my sight!"

Taiha: "....but I was here first?"

Evarrine: "Grrrr... I am immensely regretting my decision to return to this wretched game right about now... This no-maj world is INSANITY!"

Aiden: "In all mah life, I jus' nevah seen such beauty in mah days... Izzy is really somethang else! Not many purdy gurls in mah neck of da woods, they all look like mah MOMMA, y'know what I mean??"

Kenneth: "Yes, I actively avoid dating women who share a resemblance to my mother, so I know what you mean."

Aiden: "Heuhehaw!"

Kenneth: "Has she gotten back to you about going out to dinner together?"

Aiden: "No..."

Kenneth: "Hm... Maybe she didn't realize you were asking her out on a serious date? Sometimes people just say things without meaning them. Why don't you ask her again, this time, with a bit more confidence?"

Aiden: "I can'..."
Kenneth: "Can or can't?"
Aiden: "I can'! I just no good at it... She make me so nervous y'know, I gets da budderflies all in mah tummies e'ery time she look at me..."

Kenneth: "Hah! Who do you think you're talking to!? I'm the Master Flirt Machine, don't you know?? I'll get those butterflies out of your tummy in a jiffy. If there's anything I'm good at, it's talking to women."

Aiden: "...."
Kenneth: "What?"

Aiden: "...Whys you helpin' me, Ken?"

Kenneth: "Why do you ask that?"

Aiden: "You single, arentcha? I'm pwetty sure Izzy would rather be wid you over me....."

Kenneth: "I told you already, Aiden! I'm gonna be your mentor. I'm out of the game. Retired. Done! I'm not chasing girls anymore. I'm in my 30's now, I need to find me a real woman to settle down and have a family with. Izzy is NOT that kind of girl. She still has a lot of maturing to do. She reminds me a lot of my old flame; Chasity. Chasity Pendragon, remember her? She was a contestant on season 1. But I can't date people like that anymore, I'm waiting for the real deal."

Aiden: "D'you think Izzy is da real deal for me??"

Kenneth: "Hard to say until you ask."

Aiden: "......I'm scurred to go alone. Can you go wid me?!"

Kenneth: "Hehe, of course buddy! Let's go find her!!"

* * *

Artie: "Well... 'ow do I tell zis..... My dear Izzy... was really intéressé en 'aving me paint a portrait of her... en ze nu; A nude portrait!! Zat iz absolute not mon thing, but in ze game, I 'ave to keep my connexions wiz ze ot'hers close. So, I did eet."

Artie: "Wut do you plan on doing wiz zis painting, may I demander?"

Izzy: "Sell it to the highest bidder, of course!"

Artie: "Auck! 'Ey, hold still!"

Izzy: "Oops, sorry..."

Artie: "ZE mozt important thing iz to stay still! Odzerwise mon painting will be blurry!"

Izzy: "Your English has improved quite substantially, you know that?"

Artie: "Ah, oui, we 'ave Linda to zank for zat. I teach 'er true friendship en échange
for Anglais lessons."

Izzy: "You two really hit it off after being executed together, huh?"

Artie: "Oui oui, but no zanks to you! I cun't believe zat two years after you made a imbécile out of moi, 'ere I am painting you in ze nu!"

Izzy: "....I guess that IS a little funny, isn't it? Funny how life works out like that. But hey, if it weren't for me being such a tricky Mole, you and Linda may have never bonded the way you did! It also may have been the key to get you BOTH into All-Stars, where you already have a coalition in each other."

Artie: "Aye, zat iz actually absurdité. We may be friends outside of zis game, but en it, anyzing goes! I cannot truzt 'er any more zan I can truzt you!"
Izzy: "Wow. And that's saying a LOT!"

Aiden: "I CAN' FIND HER ANYWHERE!!"

Kenneth: "Wait, sh, shhhh...."

Aiden: "....Is dat her underneaths us?!"
Kenneth: "No you doofus, she's above us in Ravenclaw's balcony."

Kenneth: "C'mon, you can't get cold feet now!"
Aiden: "....Okey dokey. Le's do this thang!"

Kenneth: "Oh, hey Artie! What are you painting??"

Artie: "You are not supposé to zee zis! Tour around immédiatement!!!"

Kenneth: "I don't get it? What's the big deal?"
Artie: "LAISSAR! SORTEZ! MON MASTERPIECE IZN'T COMPLETE!"

Kenneth: "Wait, isn't Izzy up here? I thought I heard her v-.......oh."

Izzy: "It's okay Ken Doll, you're allowed to take a little peeksy!!"

Aiden: "Peeksy?? Peeksy at whut?"

Kenneth: "Uhhh hold on Aiden! ABORT! ABORT!"

Aiden: "Huh?"
Kenneth: "Mission's over, we're going back down!"

Aiden: "Dat's utter bull, I din't climb all dis way for nothin'! I am ready to ask da pwetty Izzy out on a date wid or widout you!!"

Kenneth: "OH boy..."

Aiden: "Izzy, y'all up here? I gots a question for yah, if yer ready..."

Izzy: "Sure Aiden, I'm right over here! Sorry though, I can't move cuz I'm posing for a painting!"

Aiden: "Posin' for ah paintin'?! I nevah heard such a strange thang. Excuse meh, ma'am."
Artie: "Az you wish..."

Aiden: "Theres you are! How do you do? I bin lookin' all over for--oh mah lord...."

Aiden: "Sh-she.... SHE'S NECKED !"

Izzy: "Good observation skills, Aiden! Have you ever seen a lady 'necked' before?"

Aiden: "No ma'am, only mah momma. I am SO sorreh, I din't mean to make such a fuss of it...."
Izzy: "Don't be silly, I relish in people relishing my body!"
Aiden: "No no, I ain't no gentlemen if I look atta woman not properly covered..."

Izzy: "Oh stop it, that's just what your parents brainwashed you to believe. A REAL gentleman doesn't repress his natural urges. So please....
FEAST YOUR EYES ON MY BODY'S GLORY!!"

Aiden: "Uh-ohs... I just hitched a tent in mah britches!! Oh SHUCKS!"

Aiden: "TIME TO SKEDADDLE!"

Artie: "You content wiz yourself?"

Kenneth: "Er... No, sorry about that! Won't happen again. You may PROCEED."

Artie: "Zanks."

Kenneth: "Oh, and, uh... Lemme know when you're planning to auction that painting off. I'd like to make a bid on it, if possible..."

Kenneth: "Farewell my belle dame française!"

*Artie gags*

Artie: "............................................... I really 'ope zat was wort'h eet, Izzy. Zut."

The Gov: "Miss Blake! To what do I owe the pleasure?"

Linda: "Not stopping for a chat, Governor. Just getting something to drink."

The Gov: "Shouldn't you be studying for the Quiz tonight?"

Linda: "Shouldn't you not be eating ice-cream before dinner?"

The Gov: "Harharhar, I'm on vacation, sweetheart! That means I can have my cake AND eat it too."

Linda: "I wouldn't eat the cake if I were you. The cake is a lie."

The Gov: "Besides, I'm the Governor! A leader can do whatever the hell he wants! And my newest law says it's perfectly legal to eat dessert before dinner. And my people LOVE me for it. So there. CASE CLOSED!"

Linda: "So that's it? You have no angle trying to talk to me?"

The Gov: "Angle? What makes you think I must have an angle?"

Linda: "HELLO? You're The Governor. You always have an angle. I watched your season, I know all about you and your schemes."

The Gov (whispering loudly): "You know about my ponzi scheme?!?"

Linda: "Yes, now I do."

The Gov: "...Whaaat?! Did you hear 'ponzi'? Because I clearly said PONY scheme.... ahahaha..." *coughs*

Linda: "Yes Governor, your 'pony' scheme."

The Gov: "You know something? You remind me a lot of my former ally. Zelinda. Just add the way Artie pronounces 'the' in front of your name and TA-DA, I got myself another Zelinda!"

Linda: "The two of us are virtually nothing alike... Except for the fact we share the same creator."

The Gov: "Oh god no, please don't tell me I'm stuck in here with another religious zealot... Paul Nugget tested my patience to no end."

Linda: "No, you are mistaken. I am talking about Jake."
The Gov: "You mean Jesus? Wrong J."
Linda: "No. Jake. Jake The Creator."
The Gov: "Okay, wackjob..."

GREY: "I absolutely just HATE to interrupt this lovely conversation, but I need the kitchen."

The Gov: "Why does this man keep popping in? Who gave him a key??"

Linda: "Fine by me, Grey. The kitchen is all yours."

GREY: "I wasn't really asking for permission, but thanks."

GREY: "...Governor?"
The Gov: "Can I help you?"
GREY: "Yes. Get out."
The Gov: "Nawh, I'm good."
GREY: "Dave, you literally have 5 seconds before I explode."

The Gov: "Fine, okay, I'm going, I'm going... After I finish this last scoop, that is."

GREY: "Linda, please spread the message that dinner will be served in an hour! The execution ceremony will take place then. Everyone who's vulnerable will be taking the Quiz momentarily."

THE QUIZ IS NEXT...

5 QUESTIONS ABOUT THE IDENTITY OF THE MOLE

THE TWO PLAYERS WHO KNOW THE LEAST INFORMATION ABOUT THE MOLE WILL BE EXECUTED, AND MUST LEAVE THE GAME IMMEDIATELY

Q1: What is the Mole's favorite season?
a) Spring
b) Summer
c) Autumn
d) Winter

Q2: What season was the Mole originally on?
a) S1
b) S2
c) S3
d) S4
e) S5
f) S6

Q3: During the "2 ROOMS & A BOOM" mission, was the Mole ever used as a hostage?
a) Yes
b) No

Q4: Was the Mole killed by the bomb at the end of the mission?
a) Yes
b) No

Q5: Which role did the Mole have?
a) President
b) Bomber
c) Blue Spy
d) Red Spy
e) Blue Member
f) Red Member
g) Romeo
h) Juliet
i) Survivor
j) Victim

GREY: "This is our first execution ceremony... And for two of you, it will be your last."

GREY: "As you can see behind you.... Those holding an exemption are sitting quite comfortably, enjoying a front row seat to this ceremony while happily feasting away to a dinner fit for the Greek Gods..."

Evarrine: "Why, I am practically a Goddess already, deary."

GREY: "And as you can see, there are 3 vacant chairs at the table..."

GREY: "The 3 people to survive this execution will be able to join the others and enjoy the festivities...
So, who will those 3 lucky individuals be?"

GREY: "Let's find out now, shall we?"

GREY: "I will be calling on you one-by-one. Let's start with Kenneth and go down the line."

GREY: "Kenneth, if the screen turns green, you live to fight another day. However, if the screen turns red, you have been executed and thus eliminated permanently from the game."

GREY: "Are you ready to see your results?"
Kenneth: "Yes sir!"

Kenneth: "Phew..."

GREY: "Izzy."

Izzy: "Damn."

GREY: "Izzy, you are the Mole's first victim. Time to go."

Izzy: "This was for the highest good! I had my run two seasons ago, I think I can manage to share the spotlight with my fellow All-Stars... That being said, this is definitely not the last time you will see or hear from me! The Fabulous Izzy will rise again one day, so try not to miss me too much, mkay??"